So, DH's friend just got engaged and...

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Posted by lizzie217

Wow this is tough bc you dont want to offend them. I think that offering to help with planning is a good idea and hopefully they will move away from this idea...it is odd to even think of guests paying a 'cover' to go to a wedding...

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Bizarre, right? It's totally like planning a college party.
This is your wedding! You can't charge a 'cover!'

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Posted by Espo22

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Yeah i was shocked and was getting so annoyed with some places, like stop suggesting i have my guests pay for their drinks. Or one girl said just buy 2 bottles and let them buy the rest, oh yeah 2 bottles of grey goose for 50 ppl is great i dont know whats wrong with some people.

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I know, I totally get that they want a casual and rock and roll party but you can do that without charging a cover!!!

Are you doing the hotel suite? Did you ever get that catering info i sent to you?

Oh wow Cindy - that is a sticky situation. You don't want to offend them but you don't want them to have a bad event. Have they told their parents...what did they say? Is this taking place in the ny area?

Ok here is my take...having a 'cash bar' is one thing and somewhat acceptable. I have been to out of state weddings with beer and wine included and liquor was cash bar. Dh has been to a lot of weddings in AZ where it was total cash bar. Anyway it is not the norm in ny but I think that is a much better option then 'cover charge'. Gee. This is pretty crazy. But I am thinking outside the box and I would probably wait alittle while and then speak up. I mean its once in a lifetime and it is their day., not ours so they r entitled to do it how they want but iif it were a girl friend of mine o would approach it gently and if she gave push back I would drop it.

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Posted by NapaValleyGirl

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Posted by Espo22

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Yeah i was shocked and was getting so annoyed with some places, like stop suggesting i have my guests pay for their drinks. Or one girl said just buy 2 bottles and let them buy the rest, oh yeah 2 bottles of grey goose for 50 ppl is great i dont know whats wrong with some people.

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I know, I totally get that they want a casual and rock and roll party but you can do that without charging a cover!!!

Are you doing the hotel suite? Did you ever get that catering info i sent to you?

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ugh i am having the hardest time with this, i didnt think it'd be so difficult. Just about every hotel said no parties and its a strict policy but meanwhile when i mention that it says it on their site private parties in suite, they say oh yeah if we provide the catering which is so annoying, and i ask them to send me their menu's and for 4 hor dourves its $35pp, why would i spend $1200 on 4 types of hors dourves when i can get so much food elsewhere for that amount ya know. Basically every hotel with a few hors dourves and drinks its $70 per person per hour on average

One place that would allow me to do a party and bring in my own food is the night hotel, i went to check it out and thank god i did bc i almost just booked it over the phone but the penthouse is TINY, theres no room really, they shouldnt call it a penthouse. I really want flatotel and trying to negotiate it with the sales dept now. The other place that was pretty cool with it and would allow but to an extent is 60 columbus hotel which is the thompson group hotels and their penthouse is real nice.

Other than that i still have the option of Madame X and Touch night club. This weekend i want to personally check out a few more places and then i'll decide. I'd rather do a hotel suite so there is no time limit and more of a casual intimate environment but doesnt seem like its working out lol

When did you send it to me, recently? or was it about 2 weeks ago when i first brought it up.

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Posted by Jenn04

Oh wow Cindy - that is a sticky situation. You don't want to offend them but you don't want them to have a bad event. Have they told their parents...what did they say? Is this taking place in the ny area?

Ok here is my take...having a 'cash bar' is one thing and somewhat acceptable. I have been to out of state weddings with beer and wine included and liquor was cash bar. Dh has been to a lot of weddings in AZ where it was total cash bar. Anyway it is not the norm in ny but I think that is a much better option then 'cover charge'. Gee. This is pretty crazy. But I am thinking outside the box and I would probably wait alittle while and then speak up. I mean its once in a lifetime and it is their day., not ours so they r entitled to do it how they want but iif it were a girl friend of mine o would approach it gently and if she gave push back I would drop it.

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Their wedding reception (well the place they are thinking of) is in NYC! I think it's a once in a lifetime thing and to downplay it by having it become a college type party.

Iknow they are totally entited to having it 'their way' but I think a wedding should have some sort of food/drink for their guests!

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ugh i am having the hardest time with this, i didnt think it'd be so difficult. Just about every hotel said no parties and its a strict policy but meanwhile when i mention that it says it on their site private parties in suite, they say oh yeah if we provide the catering which is so annoying, and i ask them to send me their menu's and for 4 hor dourves its $35pp, why would i spend $1200 on 4 types of hors dourves when i can get so much food elsewhere for that amount ya know. Basically every hotel with a few hors dourves and drinks its $70 per person per hour on average

One place that would allow me to do a party and bring in my own food is the night hotel, i went to check it out and thank god i did bc i almost just booked it over the phone but the penthouse is TINY, theres no room really, they shouldnt call it a penthouse. I really want flatotel and trying to negotiate it with the sales dept now. The other place that was pretty cool with it and would allow but to an extent is 60 columbus hotel which is the thompson group hotels and their penthouse is real nice.

Other than that i still have the option of Madame X and Touch night club. This weekend i want to personally check out a few more places and then i'll decide. I'd rather do a hotel suite so there is no time limit and more of a casual intimate environment but doesnt seem like its working out lol

When did you send it to me, recently? or was it about 2 weeks ago when i first brought it up.

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Have you checked out The Dream Hotel and The Roosevelt Hotel. How about the Hudson (though I know rooms are small)

I posted the catering info in your post two weeks ago.Let me know if you want me to send it over to you again....
I know what you mean about the hotel, way more casual and intimate. Then you and DH can stay over and have a fun 'day after birthday' brunch in the city.

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Posted by NapaValleyGirl

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ugh i am having the hardest time with this, i didnt think it'd be so difficult. Just about every hotel said no parties and its a strict policy but meanwhile when i mention that it says it on their site private parties in suite, they say oh yeah if we provide the catering which is so annoying, and i ask them to send me their menu's and for 4 hor dourves its $35pp, why would i spend $1200 on 4 types of hors dourves when i can get so much food elsewhere for that amount ya know. Basically every hotel with a few hors dourves and drinks its $70 per person per hour on average

One place that would allow me to do a party and bring in my own food is the night hotel, i went to check it out and thank god i did bc i almost just booked it over the phone but the penthouse is TINY, theres no room really, they shouldnt call it a penthouse. I really want flatotel and trying to negotiate it with the sales dept now. The other place that was pretty cool with it and would allow but to an extent is 60 columbus hotel which is the thompson group hotels and their penthouse is real nice.

Other than that i still have the option of Madame X and Touch night club. This weekend i want to personally check out a few more places and then i'll decide. I'd rather do a hotel suite so there is no time limit and more of a casual intimate environment but doesnt seem like its working out lol

When did you send it to me, recently? or was it about 2 weeks ago when i first brought it up.

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Have you checked out The Dream Hotel and The Roosevelt Hotel. How about the Hudson (though I know rooms are small)

I posted the catering info in your post two weeks ago.Let me know if you want me to send it over to you again....
I know what you mean about the hotel, way more casual and intimate. Then you and DH can stay over and have a fun 'day after birthday' brunch in the city.

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i havent tried dream hotel, but ill call tomorrow. Roosevelt i tried and also Hudson, they were the ones that were $70 per person per hour and OMG the lady in their sales dept is the most annoying person EVER. I only called for rates, and she has been calling me 4-5x a day every day for over a week now and wont stop lol

Oh i have it thank you so much, i thought you mean now lol sorry. EXACTLY i would like to also stay over. Im hoping somehow it will work. Also i had seen this venue on a site, its called paul rudolph house and its 3 floors, and you can rent it out. The guy called me and price was great. But i cant find pics of it like i had originally seen. I wrote a little small next to my notes but they say the house comes with plates, serving pieces, glasses and much more so thinking about this

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i havent tried dream hotel, but ill call tomorrow. Roosevelt i tried and also Hudson, they were the ones that were $70 per person per hour and OMG the lady in their sales dept is the most annoying person EVER. I only called for rates, and she has been calling me 4-5x a day every day for over a week now and wont stop lol

Oh i have it thank you so much, i thought you mean now lol sorry. EXACTLY i would like to also stay over. Im hoping somehow it will work. Also i had seen this venue on a site, its called paul rudolph house and its 3 floors, and you can rent it out. The guy called me and price was great. But i cant find pics of it like i had originally seen. I wrote a little small next to my notes but they say the house comes with plates, serving pieces, glasses and much more so thinking about this

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That means the Roosevelt is desperate and that you can totally negotiate with them.That's so annoying that she is calling you so much! Grr. I would hate that!

Also, I stayed in a suite at the W on 49th and Lexington and that suite was HUGE. We actually had a party in that suite. It was so fun. Try the W's as well.

I am intrigued about that Paul Rudolph place! When you find the info, send it over! I want to check it out!!!

If you need any more help, let me know!

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Posted by NapaValleyGirl

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i havent tried dream hotel, but ill call tomorrow. Roosevelt i tried and also Hudson, they were the ones that were $70 per person per hour and OMG the lady in their sales dept is the most annoying person EVER. I only called for rates, and she has been calling me 4-5x a day every day for over a week now and wont stop lol

Oh i have it thank you so much, i thought you mean now lol sorry. EXACTLY i would like to also stay over. Im hoping somehow it will work. Also i had seen this venue on a site, its called paul rudolph house and its 3 floors, and you can rent it out. The guy called me and price was great. But i cant find pics of it like i had originally seen. I wrote a little small next to my notes but they say the house comes with plates, serving pieces, glasses and much more so thinking about this

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That means the Roosevelt is desperate and that you can totally negotiate with them.That's so annoying that she is calling you so much! Grr. I would hate that!

Also, I stayed in a suite at the W on 49th and Lexington and that suite was HUGE. We actually had a party in that suite. It was so fun. Try the W's as well.

I am intrigued about that Paul Rudolph place! When you find the info, send it over! I want to check it out!!!

If you need any more help, let me know!

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quite a few places have been calling me like non-stop. Even when i say to them that i am going to discuss it with BIL and ill call them next week, they end up calling me a few days later.

Oh wow so you had a party there in there, and didnt have to get catering through them? Ill check out the hotels on that block and call them.

LOL i remember it was nice and different, from the outside it was mostly glass. I definitely have to find the pics bc the price was good lol.

Oh and i would've LOOOVED the penthouse at the Rivington, it is HUGE but they want $7500 for that one and that one you can have a huge party and they dont care lol. Maybe i can talk them down lol.

Thank you so very much, i definitely might FM you since you know of alot of places in the city.

I am thinking you will offend them by saying anything

I don't think it is a wiser choice to do something like that by having guests pay, but honestly I find more than not - people want to do what they want to do -weather you agree w/the tactics or not.

They might change their mind as time goes on. I personally would go regardless if I had to pay the money, if people really want to be there for them they will.

It is possible that the guests won't really respond well, so that they might also realize it later and change it down the road.

I think what I am saying is although you might not agree - it might come off controlling to try to step in to show them a better way -esp if they didn't ask. If they do by all means Cindy I think you and Adam should tread lightly and just say , have you considered different alternatives to stretching your budget? Than mention some of the few you thought of.

People kind of have to make their own rules for their life. KWIM?