tgi FUNNIES!

One of these things is not like the other one…



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Please remember that when changing the porch light at night, no matter how hard you try, you can't turn the light on so you can see what you're doing. #LFMF
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You know those little hand warmer packets? Don't put them on your stomach when you go to sleep. They will make every muscle in the area relax, including your bladder. #LFMF
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A friend thought some plants would liven up the place.




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Today, a co-worker finally admitted to me that everyone hates me at work, they even voted. When I asked why, he shrugged and said, 'why not?' and left. FML
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Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML
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Today, after climbing out of the bath, I realized there were no towels in the bathroom. I called out, asking if anyone was home. Not getting an answer, I ran down the stairs and through the house to my room. My dad and his friends were in the living room and saw everything. FML
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Today, I had to rip down all my daughter's Twilight posters, take her books, DVDs and computer so she couldn't get on the internet and go read or talk about Twilight. She had a meltdown and said I just didn't understand the love between her and 'Edward' and ran off to her room. She's 24. FML
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Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was 'ungrateful', until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML
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Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML
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Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
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Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
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Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, 'But aren't you gay?' FML
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(240):

Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
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(905):

I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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(203):

apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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(912):

we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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(770):

How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
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(956):

while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was 'just go with it'
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(970):

You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
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(256):

its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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HAPPY FRIDAY!

Re: tgi FUNNIES!

Re: tgi FUNNIES!

i like that 'flavored water' one ... it's pretty awesome

Re: tgi FUNNIES!

i wonder if this ever happened here on LIW

**Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML**

Re: tgi FUNNIES!

Still laughing at 'cave of wonders'...

Re: tgi FUNNIES!

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Posted by cateydee

i wonder if this ever happened here on LIW

**Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML**

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omggg...nooo that would be horrible!