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Exactly! I think that 95% of people REALLY go into a marriage thinking/hoping it will be forever. But obviously 50% of them face problems that make them change their minds. Its unforseen and sad, but it happens. Life changes.
I agree with what your saying. Divorce is an option that is given but is not one that you necessarily have to choose. However, circumstances arise and that may be the only last resort. Im not advocating divorce, but i think maybe more women should know that they are financially independent incase god forbid the situation should arise that they need to be. Some women feel forced to stay in abusive marriages because they can not afford to leave and be on their own.
Posted by Mimacat
Wow. I think its pretty judgemental to say divorce is not an option and to assume that people who end up divorced shouldn't have gotten married. None of us know what the future holds for us. Of course none of us go into a marriage aspiring for divorce, but do most people, really? Life can throw some curve balls at you, and its naive, I think, to assume that divorce isn't an option in some of these situations.
What about that poor girl on the 09 board the other day. She went into marriage under false pretenses -- she had no idea that her FH, now DH, had been misusing their money very wrecklessly and secretly. This was something she had NO control of. So should she be bound to work on this marriage now when it was clearly NOT built on trust as she thought it had been? I don't think its really fair to say she should have to.
What if, God forbid, one of us was in that circumstance. Your DH had, unbeknownst to you, been spending a years worth of your rent on God knows what and lying to your face about it. Are you prepared to face that sort of betrayal? Are you ready to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of vows that you took not really knowing what you were in for? Or, as we also saw last week, your new DH actually has a side relationship with a woman and ends up having a child with her. Is that something you're prepared to deal with and work through? I know thats not what *I* signed up for. I'd hate to think that marriage vows are like a 'get out of jail free' card for things like betrayal and infidelity. Jeez, what if DH cheats with your sister. How could you ever even LOOK at him again?
I just think that NONE of us know what even OUR future holds, so to make a blanket statement saying divorce is NOT an option is pretty silly and might come back to bite 50% of us right in the hiney one day.
Posted by Mimacat
Wow. I think its pretty judgemental to say divorce is not an option and to assume that people who end up divorced shouldn't have gotten married. None of us know what the future holds for us. Of course none of us go into a marriage aspiring for divorce, but do most people, really? Life can throw some curve balls at you, and its naive, I think, to assume that divorce isn't an option in some of these situations.
What about that poor girl on the 09 board the other day. She went into marriage under false pretenses -- she had no idea that her FH, now DH, had been misusing their money very wrecklessly and secretly. This was something she had NO control of. So should she be bound to work on this marriage now when it was clearly NOT built on trust as she thought it had been? I don't think its really fair to say she should have to.
What if, God forbid, one of us was in that circumstance. Your DH had, unbeknownst to you, been spending a years worth of your rent on God knows what and lying to your face about it. Are you prepared to face that sort of betrayal? Are you ready to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of vows that you took not really knowing what you were in for? Or, as we also saw last week, your new DH actually has a side relationship with a woman and ends up having a child with her. Is that something you're prepared to deal with and work through? I know thats not what *I* signed up for. I'd hate to think that marriage vows are like a 'get out of jail free' card for things like betrayal and infidelity. Jeez, what if DH cheats with your sister. How could you ever even LOOK at him again?
I just think that NONE of us know what even OUR future holds, so to make a blanket statement saying divorce is NOT an option is pretty silly and might come back to bite 50% of us right in the hiney one day.
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Mimacat
Wow. I think its pretty judgemental to say divorce is not an option and to assume that people who end up divorced shouldn't have gotten married. None of us know what the future holds for us. Of course none of us go into a marriage aspiring for divorce, but do most people, really? Life can throw some curve balls at you, and its naive, I think, to assume that divorce isn't an option in some of these situations.
What about that poor girl on the 09 board the other day. She went into marriage under false pretenses -- she had no idea that her FH, now DH, had been misusing their money very wrecklessly and secretly. This was something she had NO control of. So should she be bound to work on this marriage now when it was clearly NOT built on trust as she thought it had been? I don't think its really fair to say she should have to.
What if, God forbid, one of us was in that circumstance. Your DH had, unbeknownst to you, been spending a years worth of your rent on God knows what and lying to your face about it. Are you prepared to face that sort of betrayal? Are you ready to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of vows that you took not really knowing what you were in for? Or, as we also saw last week, your new DH actually has a side relationship with a woman and ends up having a child with her. Is that something you're prepared to deal with and work through? I know thats not what *I* signed up for. I'd hate to think that marriage vows are like a 'get out of jail free' card for things like betrayal and infidelity. Jeez, what if DH cheats with your sister. How could you ever even LOOK at him again?
I just think that NONE of us know what even OUR future holds, so to make a blanket statement saying divorce is NOT an option is pretty silly and might come back to bite 50% of us right in the hiney one day.
I agree, & all the examples you used are all acceptable grounds for divorce. But I think the OP was referring to girls who say 'ehh, I don't feel like being married anymore' and head straight for divorce rather than ask themselves why don't I want to be married to this man anymore.
JMO!
Posted by Mimacat
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by Mimacat
Wow. I think its pretty judgemental to say divorce is not an option and to assume that people who end up divorced shouldn't have gotten married. None of us know what the future holds for us. Of course none of us go into a marriage aspiring for divorce, but do most people, really? Life can throw some curve balls at you, and its naive, I think, to assume that divorce isn't an option in some of these situations.
What about that poor girl on the 09 board the other day. She went into marriage under false pretenses -- she had no idea that her FH, now DH, had been misusing their money very wrecklessly and secretly. This was something she had NO control of. So should she be bound to work on this marriage now when it was clearly NOT built on trust as she thought it had been? I don't think its really fair to say she should have to.
What if, God forbid, one of us was in that circumstance. Your DH had, unbeknownst to you, been spending a years worth of your rent on God knows what and lying to your face about it. Are you prepared to face that sort of betrayal? Are you ready to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of vows that you took not really knowing what you were in for? Or, as we also saw last week, your new DH actually has a side relationship with a woman and ends up having a child with her. Is that something you're prepared to deal with and work through? I know thats not what *I* signed up for. I'd hate to think that marriage vows are like a 'get out of jail free' card for things like betrayal and infidelity. Jeez, what if DH cheats with your sister. How could you ever even LOOK at him again?
I just think that NONE of us know what even OUR future holds, so to make a blanket statement saying divorce is NOT an option is pretty silly and might come back to bite 50% of us right in the hiney one day.
I agree, & all the examples you used are all acceptable grounds for divorce. But I think the OP was referring to girls who say 'ehh, I don't feel like being married anymore' and head straight for divorce rather than ask themselves why don't I want to be married to this man anymore.
JMO!
Well I might get divorced next week b/c I'm tired of DH only wearing Charlie Harper shirts. Enough already; I need a man who wears sleeves. JMO.
Posted by Mimacat
Wow. I think its pretty judgemental to say divorce is not an option and to assume that people who end up divorced shouldn't have gotten married. None of us know what the future holds for us. Of course none of us go into a marriage aspiring for divorce, but do most people, really? Life can throw some curve balls at you, and its naive, I think, to assume that divorce isn't an option in some of these situations.
What about that poor girl on the 09 board the other day. She went into marriage under false pretenses -- she had no idea that her FH, now DH, had been misusing their money very wrecklessly and secretly. This was something she had NO control of. So should she be bound to work on this marriage now when it was clearly NOT built on trust as she thought it had been? I don't think its really fair to say she should have to.
What if, God forbid, one of us was in that circumstance. Your DH had, unbeknownst to you, been spending a years worth of your rent on God knows what and lying to your face about it. Are you prepared to face that sort of betrayal? Are you ready to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of vows that you took not really knowing what you were in for? Or, as we also saw last week, your new DH actually has a side relationship with a woman and ends up having a child with her. Is that something you're prepared to deal with and work through? I know thats not what *I* signed up for. I'd hate to think that marriage vows are like a 'get out of jail free' card for things like betrayal and infidelity. Jeez, what if DH cheats with your sister. How could you ever even LOOK at him again?
I just think that NONE of us know what even OUR future holds, so to make a blanket statement saying divorce is NOT an option is pretty silly and might come back to bite 50% of us right in the hiney one day.
Posted by MnM182008
Posted by Mimacat
Wow. I think its pretty judgemental to say divorce is not an option and to assume that people who end up divorced shouldn't have gotten married. None of us know what the future holds for us. Of course none of us go into a marriage aspiring for divorce, but do most people, really? Life can throw some curve balls at you, and its naive, I think, to assume that divorce isn't an option in some of these situations.
What about that poor girl on the 09 board the other day. She went into marriage under false pretenses -- she had no idea that her FH, now DH, had been misusing their money very wrecklessly and secretly. This was something she had NO control of. So should she be bound to work on this marriage now when it was clearly NOT built on trust as she thought it had been? I don't think its really fair to say she should have to.
What if, God forbid, one of us was in that circumstance. Your DH had, unbeknownst to you, been spending a years worth of your rent on God knows what and lying to your face about it. Are you prepared to face that sort of betrayal? Are you ready to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of vows that you took not really knowing what you were in for? Or, as we also saw last week, your new DH actually has a side relationship with a woman and ends up having a child with her. Is that something you're prepared to deal with and work through? I know thats not what *I* signed up for. I'd hate to think that marriage vows are like a 'get out of jail free' card for things like betrayal and infidelity. Jeez, what if DH cheats with your sister. How could you ever even LOOK at him again?
I just think that NONE of us know what even OUR future holds, so to make a blanket statement saying divorce is NOT an option is pretty silly and might come back to bite 50% of us right in the hiney one day.
I totally agree. Obviously none of us know what life will bring and there circumstances like abuse, affairs, and cases were the relationship is unhealthy.
What I was shocked about by my friends last night was they had a plan for divorce. All 3 of them had already thought about what they would do if they got divorced.
The one girl who is getting divorced after 10 months main complaint was that life changed and he wanted to spend more time with his friends. For me that isn't a reason for divorce that is a reason to head towards a marriage counselor, not divorce.
Posted by kimNanthony
Posted by MnM182008
Posted by Mimacat
Wow. I think its pretty judgemental to say divorce is not an option and to assume that people who end up divorced shouldn't have gotten married. None of us know what the future holds for us. Of course none of us go into a marriage aspiring for divorce, but do most people, really? Life can throw some curve balls at you, and its naive, I think, to assume that divorce isn't an option in some of these situations.
What about that poor girl on the 09 board the other day. She went into marriage under false pretenses -- she had no idea that her FH, now DH, had been misusing their money very wrecklessly and secretly. This was something she had NO control of. So should she be bound to work on this marriage now when it was clearly NOT built on trust as she thought it had been? I don't think its really fair to say she should have to.
What if, God forbid, one of us was in that circumstance. Your DH had, unbeknownst to you, been spending a years worth of your rent on God knows what and lying to your face about it. Are you prepared to face that sort of betrayal? Are you ready to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of vows that you took not really knowing what you were in for? Or, as we also saw last week, your new DH actually has a side relationship with a woman and ends up having a child with her. Is that something you're prepared to deal with and work through? I know thats not what *I* signed up for. I'd hate to think that marriage vows are like a 'get out of jail free' card for things like betrayal and infidelity. Jeez, what if DH cheats with your sister. How could you ever even LOOK at him again?
I just think that NONE of us know what even OUR future holds, so to make a blanket statement saying divorce is NOT an option is pretty silly and might come back to bite 50% of us right in the hiney one day.
I totally agree. Obviously none of us know what life will bring and there circumstances like abuse, affairs, and cases were the relationship is unhealthy.
What I was shocked about by my friends last night was they had a plan for divorce. All 3 of them had already thought about what they would do if they got divorced.
The one girl who is getting divorced after 10 months main complaint was that life changed and he wanted to spend more time with his friends. For me that isn't a reason for divorce that is a reason to head towards a marriage counselor, not divorce.
Personally I think it is smart of a woman to think about the possibility that she could end up divorced and what she would do in that situation. So many women are forced to stay in horrible marriages because they didn't think about this and end up financially dependent on their husband.
I also have many women clients who cannot afford to put a roof over their children's heads after the husband decides he wants out of the marriage.
Personally I think it is a smart thing to think about. It doesn't mean you plan on doing it, but it is good to be prepared if it does happen and is not in your control.
Now we know who the true thread killer is.
Posted by Mimacat
Now we know who the true thread killer is.
