I having been coming on these boards for a couple of months now. I come on here to get advice and look for ideas for my best friend who is getting married next year (actually for several people who have gotten married and are getting married). However, I've noticed that some of the women on here can be very petty and angry when it suits them. Today I received a a very nasty FM from a member on here that I thought I was helping the best way I could. I couldn't believe how much she blasted me when I had good intentions! I've noticed that some of the newlyweds on here can be over emotional and very uptight at times. There are even times when people almost tell YOU how and what they want you to respond to their posts...how crazy is that??? Now I see why some people don't post - you risk the chance of getting your head blown off (figuratively speaking).
If you are feeling over-emotinal like we all go through at times when life gets hard, then wait until your head clears before posting. If you post at that time, you could potentially read what another person says and take it the wrong way and blast - then a big internet fight breaks out (I've seen quite a few on here). This member is obviously going through a hard time right now and she needs someone to take her frustrations out on - let me tell you, i'm NOT THE ONE to be messed with! It's okay to disagree with people, but blasting them is unacceptable in my book!
People need to realize that this is the internet - there is nothing private about LIW. Anyone at anytime can read and respond to your problems, issues etc. As 'Adults' if we are going to put our information out there, then be mature enough to accept everyone's opinons and responses even if you don't think it's nice or accommdating (syrupy, bowl of cherries with cream on top)! Not everyone knows everyone on this board, so some people are going to be a bit less syrupy and more objective!
I recently recommended this site to a friend and she did not like it because of the cattiness on here. LIW is a great community, but some people on here are starting to make it annoying. Reputation is everything for a site such as this. If people keep getting chased away, what will happen to the boards? I think everyone needs to relax and stop taking things to heart so much - that can be unhealthy. I like reading the inspirational stuff that Shamma posts, they are positive and you learn something from it. That's what a community such as this should be about, not negativity and cattiness - life is hard enough as it is!
If anyone is feeling upset, take a nice bubble bath, go for a walk, listen to some music and clear your head! Please, Stop with the OVER EMOTIONS!
Thank you all, and have a GREAT POSITIVE day!
Sassy
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
I said I agree b/c I have noticed that some ppl take things way to personally. And ppl get to jump on others for their responses to their comments. When I ask for advice, I don't always like the advice given to me, but hey I asked for it
As for cattiness, I don't think we're too catty. I think we're quite entertaining, a little drama doesn't hurt as long as we don't get carried away
kelly6273
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
I agree with you completely. I am sorry that someone hurt your feelings. Try to take it with a grain of salt!
natasha
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
I agree that the boards can be upsetting. However, I think you see less of it on the NW board.
Did you post these feelings on the other boards? Some of the people on the other boards need to hear your concerns.
What-Now
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
We are not all like that! Most of us are really nice and helpful girlies, but sometimes we just get a little roudy!
Let 's be nice to newbies!
Teri
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
I can see some occasionally cattiness - but definitely not so much on this board. I think in general, everyone is really sincere and caring
kmcwed
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
I don't like getting involved in this stuff. But just my 2 cents.
1. I disagree that we shouldn't post on the boards if we are feeling emotional. I think the boards are a wonderful outlet for our stress and doubts. Where else can we get advice and support from so many women who are at the same stage of life as we are and going through the same changes? Being able to share our feelings here, and know they will be understood (by most if not all), is what makes LIW so helpful and special.
2. I agree that no one should blast anyone else. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. If someone posts something you disagree with or are offended by, take it with a grain of salt. Don't blast that person. It's not worth it, and it's not worth jamming the boards with hostile and negative threads. If someone attacks you for one reason or another, you know that that person is not going to be a good friend or contact for you, and so you just move along. I don't understand the need to get all hostile and defensive. Life's too short for petty BS.
I have learned to take everything with a grain of salt and dismiss a few things as well...
I have been reamed on FM on a subject that was completely obnoxious (too embarrassed to post in the public?) and since then, I laugh it off...
Stef is right...it takes a person who can do that to participate on message boards...LIW is not the only place where there are fights, trolls, etc...
Shamee
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
I find alot of that going on lately and that's why my participation on the boards have been dwindling. People get so worked up about what others say/don't say - who has the time to care? Life is short and I'm not going to get all buzzed out over what goes on in the internet. The real world is hard enough. Sure, it's a great outlet and a wonderful resource, but this isn't the be-all of my existence.
aug9bride
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
Well said Sandy,
I also applaud you for having the nerve to say that as a New Bride on the board. When I was new, I just read stuff and was afraid to post b/c I was afraid of getting blasted for my comments.
Kate
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
Well said Sandy... and for the record I thought you offered some reasonable advice. I'm clueless as to why this person would blast you.
SandyP
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
Hey girlies!
Thank you all for your feedback, I really appreciate the support. I really do like LIW and I will be here (even thought I don't generally post too often). I'm okay with a little drama, but when someone in unreasonable, I'm the type of person that likes to speak my mind.
I definitely don't believe that all the brides on here are catty, as a matter of fact, most of you have some great ideas which is why I keep coming back.
Maybe someone should post this on a few of the other boards as well. You ladies are great!
joeslauren
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
i must say that like wacky thought originally, i am still not sold on the fact that this is a newbie... but rather someone with an alter ego that has been on here a LONG while.... just MY 2 cents! just seems strange to me.
ets: 9/20/2000 wedding date... hmmmm.... 9/20 is a saturday this year so must've been a midweek wedding?
LisaT
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
so suspicious!
Sandy has been on for awhile - this was not her first post. And she's been married for a while - she said she comes on here to help get ideas for sister & friends. I think her anniversary is in fact 9-20-2000.
Sandy: These are your concerns. I think you should be the one to post it on the other boards.
Lisa Rose
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
9-20-2000 was a Wednesday....some do get married on other days than Fri, Sat or Sun. Who knows??
joeslauren
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
very well could be but i always have my radar on for this stuff. just seems weird. my apologies if i am wrong... thats just me.
LisaT
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
I know what you mean, I just like to give the benefit of the doubt rather than chase people away. Especially if they're not promoting a vendor or causing trouble.
ChristineC68
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
Natasha - I agree that Sandy should post her concerns on other boards. But then her thread started out about how the NW's are over emotional and uptight so maybe that's why it's here.
And while I sort of agree with the point she is trying to make I dont think it was the best way to start out especially from someone that is not active in the community.
I don't concern my self with the wedding dates in the profiles, a lot of people put incorrect information in them for privacy reasons.
joeslauren
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
i do like giving people a chance too, but this person does kinda seem to knwo the boards well. just my impression. someone who doesnt really post doesnt usually go into lengthy detail regarding cattiness and pettiness. jmo seems like someone is venting.
SandyP
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Re: These boards are starting to upset me!!!
Okay, I guess we're playing tit for tat here! You guys are funny! First of all, if you look into my profile I signed up with LIW last year October. Yes, I'm VERY familiar with these boards, but I don't post much. If I see something that really interests me then I'll reply to it, but overall I stay in the back ground.
Secondly - when I got married is really no ones business - if I wanted to put it out there, then I would've wouldn't I? Unlike some people, I'm private and certain things I'm cautious about - so my personal business is just that - MY PERSONAL business! This is the internet anyone can put what they want! By the way, is YOUR information correct? Is your name who you say you are? hmmmmm, maybe we need to call the CIA to check your info! Come on, that's silly. Trying to now find out who I am is so predictable. If you want to find something on me you gotta come better than that! WHATEVER! I guess I'm supposed to be scared now! oooooooh!
The bottom line here is I'm not causing trouble. I always reply with a very objective opinion, I don't curse anyone out nor am I rude! I'm not on here looking for friends particulary because I have my circle of people, but being on here is great because I get great ideas to help my friends out.
Once again, the only reason why I posted on the board is because one of your members was unreasonably nasty to me - if you come at me the wrong way without it being warranted I'm not going to take it - NEWBIE or not! I'm a grown woman and I'm entitled to put what I want on here. There are lots of people who say they are afraid to post because of 'some' of NUTTY women on here.
