thoughts on bachelorette parties after ur married

IMO its perfectly fine.... a mans going to do whatever he wants where and whenever.

Ya know..same with a woman...we are all adults

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Posted by EverlovingEv

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Posted by AeroJenn

I think its perfectly acceptable for spouses to go to b-parties after you're married.

Now, I personally have a thing against strip clubs in any situation -- so, if the b-party is at one, I'd ask DH not to go to that portion of the party. Thats just me though.

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right there with you.
Don't like strippers (male and female) but see nothing wrong with going out with your friends to celebrate.

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I feel exactly the same way.

I think that its cool as long as you know where he is, who he is going with and he checks in once in a while just to say hi. For our parties, me and my girls did a weekend in Foxwoods and the boys did a weekend in AC. I know for a fact that they went to a strip club (DH told me afterward as did my cousins who were there) and it didn't bother me. I trust DH and he trusts me...and if there had been strip clubs by Foxwoods, we would have been there. And I refused to call him all weekend because I wanted him to have his fun and I was having fun with my girls...and you know what? He caved first and texted me which I thought was so funny. Now, his brother is getting married and his best friend and they are probably having a joint bachelor party in Montreal and I trust DH...even though I have no doubt they are going to a strip club. I think as long as you know your DH and have that trust built up, you shouldn't be worrying about him going to a bachelor party. He loves you, that is why he married you and he would never do anything to disrespect you....that's just my two cents anyway.

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

I don't see anything wrong with it. I am sure we will both attend b-parties for friends of ours in the future.

It wouldn't even matter to me if there were going to be strippers or a strip club.

DH & I don't put limits on what we should or shouldn't do ... we trust each other to have our own limits and not participate in anything that would demean our relationship ... which would include being physical with said strippers.


(edited to clarify)

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i agree!

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Posted by gemmifer


What I DON'T approve of is this. The Men going away for a long wknd or longer to places where what stays in such and such place stays there. That I won't tolerate for sure. NO husband of mine is going away on a F fest in some gosh forsaken place w/a bunch a hornie idiots for days on end. NOT HAPPENING.

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im totally with u on this one. I actually didnt even think of that situation, but since u mentionned it....i agree....it would be a big NO for us both. DH wouldnt want me going to such an event either.

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Posted by EverlovingEv

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Posted by AeroJenn

I think its perfectly acceptable for spouses to go to b-parties after you're married.

Now, I personally have a thing against strip clubs in any situation -- so, if the b-party is at one, I'd ask DH not to go to that portion of the party. Thats just me though.

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right there with you.
Don't like strippers (male and female) but see nothing wrong with going out with your friends to celebrate.

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In agreement with this..... but nothing has changed from 'before' we were married. I'm all for going out & celebrating - but neither of us has ever been fond of the idea of stripclubs, and neither of us has ever gone if strip clubs are involved. to me it's not a trust issue at all.. it's a respect issue. imo when u take a vow, you not only promise to be faithful, but you promise to honor and respect your spouse.. to me a stripclub does not hold up to either of the two... now this is just me & my opinion! before i get flamed it's OKAY if u & ur dh are on the same level and dont see it as a huge deal...because obviously then u're not disrespecting anything if neither of u feel against it. just for me & my dh, this is where we stand as individuals..i know plenty of people who dont mind at all & sometimes even go together..but for us personally, it's just not our thing.

I don't see anything wrong with it.
Sure, I'd be jealous if DH went to a strip club, but I understand that he will go because it's his friend's BA.
I am planning my friend's BA party in Cancun, and DH has not even tried to say anything to stop me.

Hmmm well i can see both sides. i am in the middle. What DH and I would PERSONALLY do is not necessarily what I would suggest for everyone else.

We know our friends well and their friends-we all run in the same circles and have the same values so if anyone got married we'd know for certain there would be no prostitutes at the parties. YES that sounds odd but honestly Ive known several people (guys) who had hired girls who were 'professionals'-the hardcore kind who went ALL the way not just slap and tickle stuff.

So I would have no issue with Pete going to a strip club with his friends for a special occasion (he doesn't do it casually so it would def be a bachelor party) just as he wouldn't have a problem with me going because we both know how the other is. Neither of us is into that scene and we'd make it cear so we would and have been left alone. We tip ahead lol and well and then say 'BEAT IT' for the the rest of the night. We're both the types that aren't considered the 'sexy' ones in the group. I usually end up talking to the bartender all night while the other girls field off admirers and he more than once has ended up chatting to the off duty girls about school and life lol. Just how we are.

However thats US. If you're not sure WHO is coming to the paty as entertainment or you are just uncomfortable with the idea, I say don't apologize for your feelings and go with what you think is right.

In general, I feel merried couples should just use common sense about situations. I feel you shouldn't put yourself into the 'meat market' not because you or your spouse cant be trusted but simply because I personally find it tedious to hang out with friends who are on the make and then have to tell a guy who shows interest in me every so often 'Nope Im married.' 'Nope not interested.' Bevause unfortunately but true, if you're hanging with a group where the majority WANT that kind of attention, it is generally assumed you do as well EVEN if you're wearing a ring which is irritatign as crap. So I would just rather avoid it and so would DH UNLESS we're together and then it doesn't matter.

I personally do not see anything wrong with it.. Its all about trust..

Actually we have a bachelorette and bachelor party in june . I am going to AC and DH is going to Vegas

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Posted by PreshusSmurf

I don't see anything wrong with it. I am sure we will both attend b-parties for friends of ours in the future.

It wouldn't even matter to me if there were going to be strippers or a strip club.

DH & I don't put limits on what we should or shouldn't do ... we trust each other to have our own limits and not participate in anything that would demean our relationship ... which would include being physical with said strippers.


(edited to clarify)

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DITTO

Because DH and I are still rather young (26/25) there are still a ton of our friends who are yet to be married, I think it wouldn't be very nice to not celebrate their 'last nights' when so many of them shared in ours.

ETA:
I don't like strip clubs either, but I guess it's a big part of the boys night.

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Posted by MJDoc12

whats the big difference of your DH going to a bach. party now that he has a ring on his finger vs. when he was 'single' but committed to his significant other?

dh just went to a bach party a few weeks ago---he came home and told me about it--probably one of the nastiest parties i've ever heard of--but i trust him enough to go and do nothing suspect. i'm sure he'll go to many more for years to come....doesn't bother me at all.

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ITA, for me DH's commitment to me would be the same now as it was before when we were dating......bachelor parties don't bother me at all. I see it as a bonding experience w/ friends.

I wanted to add, that for DH's b-party (at least as far as I've been told ) ....

They went to Atlantic City for the night, they gambled, they drank, they ate, and they went to a bar/club place. There may have been strippers, I don't really know .... it wouldn't matter to me if there were.

BUT this is why I love his guy friends ... They made him walk around with his shirt collar UP (and BUTTONED!!!!) the whole time.

It was like they were trying to make sure he couldn't hit on anyone, even if he wanted to for some reason