Trouble in Paradise

I think if you are suspicious, then something is not right. And for him to not show you his phone to ease your fears makes me feel a little uneasy, so I can imagine how you are feeling.

I truly believe that a woman always knows the truth in her gut.

well if you are looking for things, you can read into anything- before you jump to conclusions, I think you should sit down and talk calmly to your dh about what he is doing that bothers you and is making you suspicious

i was suspicous once, and i looked into it, and it turns out it was a suprise for me

Its the holiday season, maybe he is planning or trying to get you something??

I went through your post from the past and it seems like you have had issues for most of the year with your DH and his mom's relationship.... Maybe he was calling his mom and does not feel comfortable talking to her in front of you.. or maybe it is a holiday surprise.

Either way if you have suspicions so just keep an eye out.

Its definitely weird. Has it been going on or this was the first time?

I have asked to see DH phone before and he always shows it. I feel like he is definitely hiding something. Can you do any more snooping?

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Posted by Kimbalina

I went through your post from the past and it seems like you have had issues for most of the year with your DH and his mom's relationship.... Maybe he was calling his mom and does not feel comfortable talking to her in front of you.. or maybe it is a holiday surprise.

Either way if you have suspicions so just keep an eye out.

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Hi - I actually just use this user id for personal problems/issues - but yes I have had issues in the past w/ him and his mom however i have made attempts w/ her and our relationship is better but he probably doesn't feel comfortable talking in front of me and especially at that hour - but for him to leave our apartment when he thought i was sleeping to talk on the phone and then be dishonest - I just can't seem to get over it. Do you girls ever just feel frustrated with things to the point you don't know if all of this was right?

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Posted by Jenn04

Its definitely weird. Has it been going on or this was the first time?

I have asked to see DH phone before and he always shows it. I feel like he is definitely hiding something. Can you do any more snooping?

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This was the first time - He has always been guarded w/ his phone but in his defense - so have I. I have never caught him doing something like this before though

I agree that most times a woman will know in her gut - so long as you are not normally a jealous or suspicious person, then I would just listen to your gut. NOT saying he is cheating, but it's worth looking into it a bit more.

I'll be honest, if my DH left at midnight to make a phone call outside, I would be suspicious too - and I completely trust him. I would go by his actions and decide what to do from there. Good luck. Hopefully it's nothing!

I think the phone call IS suspicious but I know that getting used to having DH around all the time WAS an adjustment and somtimes I would chat in my car so that I wouldnt have to think about what I was saying you know?

And as a PP mentioned, once you have an idea in your head you can make anything seem suspicious.

don't forget that the holidays are coming up too - maybe he is trying to keep a secret from you!

i was suspicous once, i noticed that Dh would go out inthe the shed and make phone calls and i caught him 2 times, and when i asked he would just say i was cleaning the shed, and i asked how because its night time and it was kinda dark out


i later found out he was planning a surprise for my birthday, he took me to dinner in the city and a broadway show. And his friend was making fun of me, bc the one day i was suspicous he was on the phone with DH

Maybe this may be the wrong advice, so bear with me. I am not big on snooping around but if you feel uncomfortable and suspicious with the situation look into it furthere.
As far as him lying about the time of the party that was a white lie and maybe he just got confused. If he did it intentionally maybe he didnt think that it was a big deal. I would have a conversation (not argument) about the importance of honesty in your relationship as a married couple. The phone call at midnight- yeah that would bother me. Did he tell you who he was speaking to on the phone? You can always go on line and check his phone bill and see who the call was made to at that time. It really could have been his mother and it could be something nice for you as well. If this is not the first time that you are having doubts then this is the time to fix things. As a NW now is the time to correct the bumps on the road. You dont want to let things go and a year from now wish that you had said something.

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Posted by RadiantBride

Maybe this may be the wrong advice, so bear with me. I am not big on snooping around but if you feel uncomfortable and suspicious with the situation look into it furthere.
As far as him lying about the time of the party that was a white lie and maybe he just got confused. If he did it intentionally maybe he didnt think that it was a big deal. I would have a conversation (not argument) about the importance of honesty in your relationship as a married couple. The phone call at midnight- yeah that would bother me. Did he tell you who he was speaking to on the phone? You can always go on line and check his phone bill and see who the call was made to at that time. It really could have been his mother and it could be something nice for you as well. If this is not the first time that you are having doubts then this is the time to fix things. As a NW now is the time to correct the bumps on the road. You dont want to let things go and a year from now wish that you had said something.

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As for the time of the party - I am confident he lied b/c I did my snooping - he was aware of it but wanted me to think he left the party early to come home to me - rather then staying the whole time - as for why he did it - just because that's how he is. Likes to have credit for such trivial things. I can't go online to check his phone bill b/c we have different carriers - and I don't have his password or anything. I feel like i am really losing how I feel the more I know he lies - because I am ALWAYS honest and it makes me wonder why. For me if he isn't honest - it makes me feel like he doesn't respect me enough to be honest w/ me.

As for the surprise and being a newlywed and not wanting to talk in front of your spouse - surprise - definitely not - he doesn't really care about christmas unlike me. And the not talking in front of me - yes we are both guilty of this however that is usually during the day rather than sneaking away at night.

I understand you use this name to vent... didnt mean to come off like you always have problems-

I would say TRUST your gut and pay attention to things that are bothering you.

Good luck.

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Posted by luvFH2008

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Posted by RadiantBride

Maybe this may be the wrong advice, so bear with me. I am not big on snooping around but if you feel uncomfortable and suspicious with the situation look into it furthere.
As far as him lying about the time of the party that was a white lie and maybe he just got confused. If he did it intentionally maybe he didnt think that it was a big deal. I would have a conversation (not argument) about the importance of honesty in your relationship as a married couple. The phone call at midnight- yeah that would bother me. Did he tell you who he was speaking to on the phone? You can always go on line and check his phone bill and see who the call was made to at that time. It really could have been his mother and it could be something nice for you as well. If this is not the first time that you are having doubts then this is the time to fix things. As a NW now is the time to correct the bumps on the road. You dont want to let things go and a year from now wish that you had said something.

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As for the time of the party - I am confident he lied b/c I did my snooping - he was aware of it but wanted me to think he left the party early to come home to me - rather then staying the whole time - as for why he did it - just because that's how he is. Likes to have credit for such trivial things. I can't go online to check his phone bill b/c we have different carriers - and I don't have his password or anything. I feel like i am really losing how I feel the more I know he lies - because I am ALWAYS honest and it makes me wonder why. For me if he isn't honest - it makes me feel like he doesn't respect me enough to be honest w/ me.

As for the surprise and being a newlywed and not wanting to talk in front of your spouse - surprise - definitely not - he doesn't really care about christmas unlike me. And the not talking in front of me - yes we are both guilty of this however that is usually during the day rather than sneaking away at night.

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Did you approach him after he came into the house last night? Or did you pretend to be sleeping?

Its a feeling in your gut. Dont ignore it. In my opinion you are entitled to snoop around, just be prepared in case you do find something. I was given an advice by DH's best friend once, 'dont ask a question you know the answer to' (in relation to DH lying or not lying).

So if you ask him whether he is lying...do you think he will say yes I was...!?!? I learned the hard way that he who looks for something will eventually find it...