TUESDAY HA-HA's 2*15*11
I have to say I was relieved when the person who submitted this photo had already titled it “Love is a Battlefield.” Because I was going to title it something far more inappropriate, with way less 80s kitsch and no Pat Benatar. Thank you for saving me from something I would surely regret, submitter. Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed!
The submitter says, “This is my husband and I getting married in Vegas. We did a zombie wedding. I wanted Elvis. The people at the chapel said they have done tons of themed weddings but never a zombie one.” Well, there’s a first time for everything! This post seemed particularly good to post on Valentine’s Day — a day for lovers, no matter their breathing status, ‘cuz the undead need marrying, too.
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If you don't take your three year old to get her hair cut, she will do it herself. #LFMF
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When having long awaited sex with your wife on hot morning, make sure the window is closed, there might just be girl scouts walking past your window. #LFMF
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When panicking about the location of your glasses, stop for a moment and think about why you can see anything. #LFMF
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When you're riding your bicycle and after a long grey winter the sun is finally shining; do not, under any circumstances, close your eyes to enjoy the moment more intensly. It's hard to explain later how the hell you didn't see that house you drove against. #LFMF
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Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
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SERVES HIM RIGHT!
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Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML
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Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy **** ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
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(610):
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
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the end....
