UPDATED!!! SEE PAGE 10 QOTD INFIDELITY in MARRIAGES!!!

It takes TWO people for a relationship to work.

But it only takes ONE for it to fail.

Truth is, we can't control anyone's behavior. Only our own. No relationship is cheat-proof. Thinking that yours is, is only going to tempt you to get too comfortable and stop putting the effort into it.

A marriage is like a garden. You have to water it, and weed it on a daily basis, or it will wither up and die. The nourishment takes many forms, communication, trust, fun time, special moments, sharing burdens, understanding, compromise, and yes, putting effort into staying attractive for your partner.

Even so, we are ALL human, and there is no guarantee of anything.

Well something is lacking from somewhere if he is having CYBER sex..

Yuck............

Although we got on the topic of weight, I don't think it can be ignored. I think men are more easily influenced than we think they are...even if it's just b*tching about married life with their buddies (that starts before the ceremony anyway)...it's bound to be discussed...I think men do things like cheating for various reasons.....even if they are happy, if a beautiful woman throws themself at a man, it is extremely difficult for a man to say no. Women have MUCH MORE CONTROL over situations like that.....we can say talk to the hand and walk away much easier...

But I think infidelity is a very real thing. We want to believe that it can NEVER happen......but it can - to ANYONE!!!!!!! Nobody is safe. But you go into a marriage HOPING and FEELING that you will always feel the way you do on your wedding day - but never really KNOWING. We don't have crystal balls to tell us the future...

I've been cheated on and it hurt LIKE HELL. I never want to go through that again (and I kept my man at the time SATISFIED in all ways)......but the relationship just wasnt meant to be in the longrun...

Do I know if Chris will ever cheat - no. Do I hope that he won't - of course...But it's certainly not something I think about all the time - cause that would be a marriage I wouldn't want to be in anyway!

Karen, I've really enjoyed reading your posts on this thread (well, and in general too!). Thanks.

Theresa he is my friend & i dont know his wofe. thats not my pace to tell

Honestly, I think my confidence in REALLY knowing for sure, is because of the person my DH is. I wish you all could know him, honestly. I really believe in my heart of hearts, there is no one else on earth like him. Period. I will stand by my opinion that my marriage is infidelity proof, although you ladies make some excellent points, and you are all correct. I'm going to stay on my pedestal, and insist that it is and will continue to be. Call me clouded, but there are reasons for my opinion, and they start with #1 and #2 on my list and go so much deeper than those, that I wouldn't have the room or time to write it out.

The beating his ass thing is just funny.

Thanks Colleen.

I just wanted to add that I hope we are all still on this site in 20 years so that we can bump this post and see how it all turned out!

Misty I am right along there with YA!!!!!! I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't think so

And sex is what you make it ladies!

The reason why I won't say my marriage is 100% cheat proof is because of life experience.

I used to be the most positive, optimistic person on earth. I used to be open, trusting, and probably too much of a dreamer for my own good.

I had several lessons from the School of Reality that changed my point of view. While I'm not a pessimist, or a doom-sayer, I definitely have a more realistic view of life, of people, and even of myself.

Having the rug pulled out from under you more than once, teaches you VERY quickly to always be a little extra aware of what you're standing on...

Misty: That would be really interesting.

I know a group of girls (about 15) that were all married in 2002...one is already divorced and 4 or more are in marriage counseling. Scary.

no one answered


HAS THE SEX GONE DOWN IN YOUR MARRIAGE?


I want to know from married women.

The year is 2023 and I just saw Misty's hubby with a butt print and other LIW women beating on him and a few others Just lightening the mood. Misty, I love your confidence and your stance on your feelings.

Karen, there is a reggae song that says the very same thing you said about love, it is like a garden indeed. They played it at my wedding and Roger and I were singing along and hooting and hollering.

Too funny Shamma!

I want to know ...

TOo..

I LIVE with Ronnie for 3yrs...
Sex is great.

But I think some people are just born sexual creatures!

I don't think all men cheat. I've known (and dated) ones that do and ones that don't. I married one that doesn't.

Am I saying its impossible? No, but I think its highly unlikely based on how well I know AL. He has too much respect for me and for marriage to cheat. He's never cheated on anyone and I've seen how he reacts to others who cheat (including friends of his). He's not one to play the field and right now we're just too darn happy and too in love. Its hard to explain, but the security and trust that Al inspires defies explanation.

I don't think its related to how I look. Yes, I understand the idea of looking good for your husband (something I heard a lot in my house growing up - from my DAD) but I KNOW our love is deeper than appearances (doesn't mean I let myself go though). I think being affectionate and maintaining romance, communication and RESPECT are more important than looks.

If I married my ex (and at one point, I thought I would marry him) - I would definitely had said YES that I thought it could happen. I know what it feel like to be cheated on, and I know how it affects the entire family. I would NEVER want to hurt Al or my family like that.

dgtl, i have only been married a little over 2 months so it has only gone UP (no pun intended ), ask me again in 6 mos to a year & I'll let ya know

Karen ... I agree with you 100% ... I think you make strong valid points and I like your anecdotes.

Dgtlsunshine ... No .. actually, we have more now!

Shamma, if that were to be the case, I wouldn't be posting, I'd be writing letters from jail, convicted of murder.