wedding gift amount question...perhaps tacky...

One couple gave us a check for $35. Odd amount IMO

OH and a few no gifters. Like
my sister
my SIL & her hub
my BIL and his GF (WHO WORE A WHITE DRESS)

$0 and no card. But as far as actual gifts, it is hard to say. We had a lot of oot people so we got have actual rpesents and half money. The smallest money amount was probably $50 and the gift worth the least was probably $20. But I expected this because out of the LI area people just dont spend as much.

ETA: ladies I do not mean this to sound harsh at all or to start anything, but I also dont think a lot of people who are not married, havn't been to many weddings, or have been married for a longer amount of time, or are not from LI, or not brought up on LI don't think it is neccessary to give a gift worth over like $50. It doesn't mean they are being cheap. If I had never moved to LI or had married someone not from LI, I would have expected gifts that range from $30-$50. Even from families of 5. Thats just what I always saw growing up. And I think the only reason my expectations changed was because I started comming on LIweddings. LOL. Otherwise I never would have even expected to get checks or cash!! Not that I minded getting them... LOL.

The smallest we got was $40 from my cousin..who brought her son.

The thing that pi$$es me off is..she never RSVPd, called my dad two days before the wedding, because she heard all the other cousins were coming..and complained to my dad that she wanted to come, but had no money..so since my grandma passed away a few years ago..my dad is in charge of her estate and gave her $500 as he did to each grandchild every year since. She used the money to buy a dress for herself, an outit for her son, get her hair, nails and makeup done. To top it off..we said NO KIDS. My dad specifically told her that! She still brought him.

I haven't seen her in so long, that I swear if I wasn't wearing the big white dress and veil she wouldn't have known it was me!!

$0 and no card. However - they traveled.

Ahhh... let it go. Best advise - honestly are you that mad?

If you are then put into perspective. Did you invite them b/c of a gift or b/ you wanted them to spend you day w/you?
Either way think about them as a couple you only know their background so just file it away , I wouldn't worry about comparing notes on here w/other brides.

just sayin these things happen..

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Posted by carolinebr


my BIL and his GF (WHO WORE A WHITE DRESS)

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a bounced check that cost ME money.....& a card! (I would've rather $0 and a card!)

Then the person called left a message on my answering machine apologizing and letting me know she's sending a new one. yea...that never happened, she was better off just not calling.

$0 & no card by one man, We didn't care about the money though, When it comes down to it all that really matters is that our guests & family came to our the wedding, wished us well and enjoyed themselves to the fullest. Thats all we could really ever ask for in life. We worked so hard to pay for every penny of our amazing wedding day & actually didn't expect anything from anyone including the bridal party, we were so pleasantly surprised by the generous gifts. .

Smallest (if u figure it out per person) was $125 from a family of 4 - and the two 'kids' are 18 and 21 - the 21 year old has a pretty good job too - but the rest of the family (from what i understand) cant really afford it
and another person gave $50 - again, its a cousin and i kno thats what she could afford

Ohhh boy I could go on for hours on how we were stiffed!!!!

We had 4 or 5 people give no gift, no gift card

We had several people gift small registry gifts of $35 dollars. One couple gave us $75 total is cash. One couple gave us wine and and wine glasses from the wine store they work at! (Mind you these r all OOTers)

Ok as for NYers - almost everyone gave $100-150 per person. Some more.

Ohhhhhh I had no idea about the
previous !!!

We had one friend (sorta OOT-she grew up and got married here and lives in Va now) who kept saying she would send a gift and nothing-I would rather that she didn't say anything than an empty promise. Aside from her and her husband, our least amount was $50. I'm glad that I wasn't the only one these things happened to, but at the same time I'm sorry they happened to you guys
Having a wedding was an eye-opening experience....

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Posted by gemmifer

$0 and no card. However - they traveled.

Ahhh... let it go. Best advise - honestly are you that mad?

If you are then put into perspective. Did you invite them b/c of a gift or b/ you wanted them to spend you day w/you?
Either way think about them as a couple you only know their background so just file it away , I wouldn't worry about comparing notes on here w/other brides.

just sayin these things happen..

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I agree. I invited them to spend the day with us, not to get a gift. I think I was more hurt than anything...maybe I'm taking it too personally.

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Posted by sophisticat13

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Posted by gemmifer

$0 and no card. However - they traveled.

Ahhh... let it go. Best advise - honestly are you that mad?

If you are then put into perspective. Did you invite them b/c of a gift or b/ you wanted them to spend you day w/you?
Either way think about them as a couple you only know their background so just file it away , I wouldn't worry about comparing notes on here w/other brides.

just sayin these things happen..

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I agree. I invited them to spend the day with us, not to get a gift. I think I was more hurt than anything...maybe I'm taking it too personally.

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I think you should just watch how they treat you as a couple from this day fwd. Maybe there was something behind it , perhaps not. They have a year to make it up., it could be nothing to do w/you.
If they traveled they might not give

Just do your best to store what they did w/out being so angry -as you said you did want them to just share your day, but I think having a wedding teaches you some things about people you never knew - both good and bad

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Posted by gemmifer

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Posted by sophisticat13

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Posted by gemmifer

$0 and no card. However - they traveled.

Ahhh... let it go. Best advise - honestly are you that mad?

If you are then put into perspective. Did you invite them b/c of a gift or b/ you wanted them to spend you day w/you?
Either way think about them as a couple you only know their background so just file it away , I wouldn't worry about comparing notes on here w/other brides.

just sayin these things happen..

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I agree. I invited them to spend the day with us, not to get a gift. I think I was more hurt than anything...maybe I'm taking it too personally.

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I think you should just watch how they treat you as a couple from this day fwd. Maybe there was something behind it , perhaps not. They have a year to make it up., it could be nothing to do w/you.
If they traveled they might not give

Just do your best to store what they did w/out being so angry -as you said you did want them to just share your day, but I think having a wedding teaches you some things about people you never knew - both good and bad

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ITA...some people were so sweet and some people really disappointed us...it was an eye-opener for sure Good advice about seeing how they treat us but they live in Va so that will be hard When my TY cards come I think I will just thank them for coming and leave it alone Because when it comes down to it, unfortunately there isn't too much I/we can do about it other than let it go.

We got $0 and no card from 2 of our 3 groomsmen. They each brought dates, too. Whatever. They're DH's friend and brother, so it's not like it's anything to ruin a relationship over, although I find it tacky. A card saying 'I'm so happy for you guys; thanks for asking me to be a part of your special day' would have been nice, but I'll get over it.

As far as gifts... we had a family of 4 - two parents, one adult son and one teenage son - chip in to get us one place setting. Of our casual china.

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Posted by sophisticat13

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Posted by gemmifer

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Posted by sophisticat13

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Posted by gemmifer

$0 and no card. However - they traveled.

Ahhh... let it go. Best advise - honestly are you that mad?

If you are then put into perspective. Did you invite them b/c of a gift or b/ you wanted them to spend you day w/you?
Either way think about them as a couple you only know their background so just file it away , I wouldn't worry about comparing notes on here w/other brides.

just sayin these things happen..

---

I agree. I invited them to spend the day with us, not to get a gift. I think I was more hurt than anything...maybe I'm taking it too personally.

---

I think you should just watch how they treat you as a couple from this day fwd. Maybe there was something behind it , perhaps not. They have a year to make it up., it could be nothing to do w/you.
If they traveled they might not give

Just do your best to store what they did w/out being so angry -as you said you did want them to just share your day, but I think having a wedding teaches you some things about people you never knew - both good and bad

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ITA...some people were so sweet and some people really disappointed us...it was an eye-opener for sure Good advice about seeing how they treat us but they live in Va so that will be hard When my TY cards come I think I will just thank them for coming and leave it alone Because when it comes down to it, unfortunately there isn't too much I/we can do about it other than let it go.

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Ah ha-- you see there were from OOT, I had a feeling. They might still give something within the year time, even perhaps a gift off of your registry or it just might not be much to speak of. It also might not happen at all. Don't even sweat it , most feel when they travel that they are not obligated b/c they went out of there way to attend and it cost them.

Try not to think of your wedding as people 'owing' you, at the end of the day it really should just be about you two celebrating the bond btwn one another and joining families around the people you love and respect . That gift they would have given you would not have made you richer although I know you felt they should have most probably not shown up empty handed.

Another good reason IMO to send a TY.What if the card was lost unbeknownst to them If you write the TY and say thank you for sharing our special day with us ,and they take note that you didn't say anything more about a gift that will also prompt them to call you on it. As I said before I had sent picture THANK YOUS to those that didn't show or could not attend , telling them they were missed.
Believe it or not....those People sent me gifts after.
Granted they might of thought they would have later on but it sure reminded them that they wanted to. Now that is a 'Sophisticat'