Wedding Proof Drama (good ol grandma) Long Rant

Ok, so I got my proofs last week. In about an hour I fully sifted through them and selected the 36 for my album, the 1 for the portrait, the 1 for the thank you, the 5 for my family and the 5 for his.

I was feeling pretty good about myself.

Now, I’ve been VERY busy lately (no time for LIW even) and between struggling to keep my job, work on charity events and school, my time is not my own. But thinking ahead, we made sure to NEVER tell the grandmother (whom we live with) about the proofs. NO ONE KNEW.

We put them somewhere sorta out the open but not somewhere ‘special’.

Jim went and bought a new lamp for the room and two bulbs. While putting it together he went to pick me up from the train station. When we get back he says “I’m missing a bulb and I’ve looked everywhere”. Find out that ‘grandma’ moved the bulb because it was the only thing in the Target bag sitting on the floor (along with a million other bags of junk I might add).

Ok, Jim is ticked about this. The old lady is ALWAYS just snooping our room. But he gets over it, sort of, but he did sort of get mad at her, as much as he can – she’s his grandma afterall.

Should I mention the proof box was on the floor? The proofs were ordered in the way I could recall each appropriate section and there were colored papers to divide the groups with names and number of photos in between the proofs?

The next day is school day for me and when Jim picks me up to take me to school he says “My brother just called and said Grandma wants two pictures reproduced and enlarged, but he didn’t want to do it because the back said DO NOT COPY” I’m thinking are those our proofs. Jim is thinking the same. I asked where the proofs were and he says the put them on top of the computer since he found out she was digging through the floor stuff. No no.. may it’s one of the other million pictures (amateur ones) floating around in the house right?

So after class he picks me up and I see the two ‘pictures’ which she wanted enlarged. Don’t you know one is our thank you and the other is directly from my 36!

I’m so freaking mad. I’m flipping out. So I spent another two hours RE-shuffling all the proofs AGAIN. Pulling out our 36 and thank you and realize that the two she choose WEREN’T in the set for their family. So we decide to regroup the proofs in order of the day so she can choose the dang photos herself!

FRUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!

Can’t she just NOT COME INTO OUR ROOM!
Need I remind anyone this is the same lady who through out my first veil!

I need a place of our own SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Bad!

(sorry just HAD to vent some steam)

I know it's her home, but have you guys talked to her about respecting your privacy? Can you put a lock on the door?

This obviously isn’t the first time for ANYONE in the house that she’s done this.

She is pretty much notorious for it. Yes, she’s been ‘spoken to’ about it. No, she doesn’t disagree. She says ‘Ok’.

As a matter of fact, we think that’s the reason the two incidents came to be on two back to back days. I think she found the proofs when she moved the bulb. She got ‘spoken to’ by Jim for the bulb and probably knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to tell him she also had the proofs, so she waited until the next day and asked Jim’s brother to make the enlargements thinking Jim didn’t need to know. Maybe she thought she’d sneak them back in, I don’t know.

She’s generally a really nice harmless little old Chinese lady. It’s really hard to be angry at her because she doesn’t know English so I can’t say a word and Jim doesn’t know prefect Chinese so she can just ‘get the hint’, but not really the point of how much this bothers us. When Jim’s mom (who speaks perfect Chinese) explains it to her she just lets it go.

If we put a lock on the door she’d get angry and say we were treating her like a child and so forth, but even then, she wouldn’t’ say it to us. She is known to talk crap about Jim and I on the phone to other people while we’re standing RIGHT THERE! Jim is like “she’s talking about us, she’s going on about how we didn’t get a big enough snow blower” DUDE, I bought the danged snow blower as a favor to the house!

So……………..
No lock
No amount of explaining
No asking nicely
No sulking

Nothing will work. It’s just freaking annoying!

Oh, I feel your pain. My DH decided that instead of asking his brother to move out of the house once we were married, he was going to build an apartment for him in the house. Since DH is doing most of the work himself, to date, it is not done so I have to share some of my living space with brother in law.

For the sake of the family, I think you may have to just suck it up until you can live on your own. I would put a lock on the door just so she doesn't walk in at a bad moment.

Family can sure be a pain in the a$$ but it is still family.

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Posted by shamrock12472

Family can sure be a pain in the a$$ but it is still family.

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Yes, yes. As Jim says, it’s not just HIS annoying grandmother it’s OUR annoying grandmother.
Still all of my grandparents are dead so I appreciate her and try hard to ‘suck’ it up.

Oh, and we have a deadbolt on the door, but it’s for locking people out from the inside not from locking people out from the outside.

You see apparently this trait is hereditary. Jim’s brother has indeed just walked into the room more times than I can count and once when I had nothing on below my waist but my undies and I wasn’t even wearing a bra!! Thank GOD I had the covers over me.

I really think that you need to put some sort of lock on the door. But, since you said that you can't do that, why not get a filing cabinet that locks and keep your important items in there? If the lockable filing cabinet would be 'offensive', then push it to the back of your closet so no one sees it...

ahhh, brings me back to my dorm room days...