What do you call your ILs?

MegLehner Posted: Jan 23, 2005 09:19 PM

What do you call your ILs?

Up until the day DH and I got married I called his rents Mr & Mrs (even though we are pretty close). Well, ive started calling them by the first names every once in a while (or avoid calling them anything at all). But they sent be a B-day card signed Mom & Dad. I dont want to call them Mom & Dad (my dad passed away when I was young and my mom is my BF). I didnt know what to write in the thank you note.
I ended by writing: Hi . . . Thanks for the giftcard. But i thought they would think that was wierd.
What do you call ILs? and how did you decide to call them that?
Sorry so long.

suven Posted: Jan 23, 2005 09:32 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

Posted by MegLehner

Up until the day DH and I got married I called his rents Mr & Mrs (even though we are pretty close). Well, ive started calling them by the first names every once in a while (or avoid calling them anything at all). But they sent be a B-day card signed Mom & Dad. I dont want to call them Mom & Dad (my dad passed away when I was young and my mom is my BF). I didnt know what to write in the thank you note.
I ended by writing: Hi . . . Thanks for the giftcard. But i thought they would think that was wierd.
What do you call ILs? and how did you decide to call them that?
Sorry so long.

to me, the thank you cards are easy because they're also from DH, so I'll address them to MOM, since she is his mom (I wrote her 1 TY for XMAS gifts, even though she gave gifts to both of us)

In speaking, I've avoided calling her anything, but I'm starting to settle into 'Momma Franca', she's Italian and she signed a card that way (once) so I figured I'd go with that. My FIL is deceased.

But, it's those darn aunts and uncles that always throw me (between switching from 'Zia' to Aunt, I end up forgetting to put anything in there at all! ugh!)

sassy2611 Posted: Jan 23, 2005 09:58 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I still call them Mr. and Mrs. ___ . I will probably never call them Mom and Dad we don't really get along. DH calls my parents either by their first name or mom and dad. Difference in family raising I guess.

MegLehner Posted: Jan 23, 2005 10:01 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I also think DH got insulted when I asked him about it. He wanted to know why I didnt want to call them Mom and & Dad. He said he understood my reasoning, but I feel bad cause I think I hurt his feelings.

palebride Posted: Jan 23, 2005 10:03 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I call them Mom and Dad - well, I havent' to their face, but I do in emails and cards .
It's strange because I knew them before Tom and I started dating, and I called them by their first names......but that didn't seem right after we were dating for a while, so I stopped calling them anything really.
But when I wrote Mom and Dad in a card one time, it made them so happy, that I knew that's what they wanted me to call them. And that's how they sign cards for me.
They're such great people - I really lucked out! And anything I can do to make them happy - I will!!

Tom, on the other hand, calls my parents 'Mr. and Mrs.'

Strange.....

Moehick Posted: Jan 23, 2005 10:21 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

His Dad I call by his first name...his Mom I try to avoid saying anything. I don't say Mrs or her name. They never really stated what they wanted to be called.

DH calls my Dad his name and my Mom Mrs, just Mrs...it is an Irish thing.

lorsin Posted: Jan 23, 2005 10:21 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

Funny, I was just thinking about this....

I almost never call them anything.

I wind up using a lot of 'your mom' 'your dad' in front of them, or calling them grandma and grandpa in front of my nephews and speaking about them in the 3rd person.

When I refer to them when talking to my parents, I use their first names.

It's so awkward. My parents live far away, so DH hasn't really had this issue.

I'm not sure I'll ever be comfortable with it and I'm not good at faking things. But they have expressed that they want me to call them mom & dad and DH's SIL calls them that. So I'll keep working on it.

JodiBabe Posted: Jan 23, 2005 10:33 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I have called them Mum & Pop since we got engaged! I ADORE them!!!!!!

keljoe04 Posted: Jan 23, 2005 10:51 PM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I call them by their first names... I don't feel close enough to them to call them anything else.

swags1016 Posted: Jan 24, 2005 07:34 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I had the same problem. I call them by their first names. Or if the grandchildren are around I call them grandma and Grandpa. On thank you notes to his parents, if the card is from both DH and I, then I will write Mom and Dad and sign DH's name first. That doesn't bother me, but if it is just from me then it is first names.

VickiC Posted: Jan 24, 2005 08:46 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I call them Mom & Dad. I've been doing that for years, even before we were engaged. It started as a joke to get their attention instead of saying Mrs. A. I mean really, what mother doesn't turn around when she hears 'Mom!'
Then it was just natural to continue calling them that.

DH also calls my parents Mom & Dad and he's comfortable with that although they did give him an option to call them by their first names. He always used to call the Mr. & Mrs.

Anniegrl Posted: Jan 24, 2005 09:12 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I've called his dad (and stepmom) by their first names since I met them, so it's still very weird for me to call his dad 'Dad'. His stepmom prefers to be called by her first name which is fine with me!

nylisa Posted: Jan 24, 2005 09:19 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I call my ILs Mom & Dad. When we got engaged I tried not to call them anything but once we got married I started to call them Mom & Dad. DH calls my parents Mom & Dad but he always called my mom Mom and my Dad Mr. S until we got married.

MegLehner Posted: Jan 24, 2005 09:51 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

Thanks ladies!

corinne7477 Posted: Jan 24, 2005 09:53 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I call the by their first names. feel wierd calling them mom and dad. when i called my mil Mrs. she said thats her mil not her.

Annemarie13 Posted: Jan 24, 2005 10:37 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

Call them by their first names. I could never call them mom or dad.

steph4777 Posted: Jan 24, 2005 11:40 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

I still call them Mr & Mrs or nothing at all. They sign cards Mom and Dad, but I just can't bring myself to call them that. I just don't feel comfortable calling them by their first name.

xjulietx Posted: Jan 24, 2005 11:44 AM

Re: What do you call your ILs?

Since DH and his family are from Poland, he calls his parents Mama and Tata. I decided to call them that, too. And he calls my parents Mom and Dad.

It works for us because neither of us is calling the other's parents the names we call our own parents. I can call my MIL Mama, but she is not my MOM!