What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

I am curious...if you dont think it's too personal to answer....but what do you give when you go to a wedding these days? I got married 2 years ago and I know what we paid but I have no idea what people pay anymore at different places/differents nights. Do you always feel obligated to 'cover your plate' or would you not go instead? Try not to look at this completely from a bride's POV but also from the guest's view. We are invited to a wedding at Carlyle on the Green next month, a Friday night wedding. What if you dont know what it costs or if you do, what if what it costs is more than you can afford? We are now a one income family and I need to be more practical about what weddings we can attend (non-close friends/family) b/c of the cost. My SIL said she generally gives $300-350 per couple...Gee, I've been giving about $100 less...more if it's a close friend/family but I thought $200/250 was the norm. Help!

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

I would also think $100 per plate is the norm.
Ive never gotten $300-$350 from just any couple. WOW your SIL is generous ! LOL.
But like you said, for closer friends or family totally different ball game. THere's no limit !

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

we did have a bunch of family friends give us $300+ at our wedding.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

As I general guideline, I have to say that I think its hideous for a couple to give anything less than $150 (bare minimum) as a gift (and that's assuming they are from NYC or LI) unless of course you know for a fact that they don't have this much to give it doesn't matter to you. $200-$250 a couple was pretty much the norm at my wedding. Very close friends and relatives gave more. I will say that some out of state/upstate people did not appear to have any idea about what to give for a nyc or LI wedding. Let's just say that I wound up with some real 'interesting' items that I will not ever use. I'm sorry if this offends anyone but it's honestly how I feel.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Most of our gifts were over 200. We had quite a bit of gifts that were 300 and over too. To me a gift is a gift. We had two couples that didnt give us anything, not even a card. We would of been happy with the littlest thought. I just think that is rude. On the other hand some people were so generous. I guess it depends on the person.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

LisaT - same here. I had quite a few friends even co-workers who did give $300+ as gifts. I was genuinely shocked at some people's generousity (again some people..'cause I did have a stingy millionaire! amongst others). But, I think on average most couples gave between 200-250.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Teri- I totally agree with your point and I hope none of my points came off that way. I had one young couple give us $100 as their gift and I know their situation and was touched by that generous gift!!!!

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

I'll be the one to bring down everyone's ideas of what is acceptable. Personally, I think it is ridiculous to expect a certain amount. A gift is a gift...end of story. At my wedding, most of my college friends gave $150, some even less. Family went anywhere from $200-$600 with about $200/$250 being the norm. I personally cannot afford to give each of my friends $300 for their weddings, partly because I live far away and it costs me $ to attend their wedding. 50% of my wedding guests were from out of town and traveling to NY in the snow during December for our wedding was one of the best gifts. Don't get me wrong, I counted my cash just like everyone else did at the end of the night, but using what your plate cost as a guideline is BS to me. If I had $300 to give I would, but I don't usually, and it is sickening to think that someone may open my gift and then 'oh, big deal $150 bucks' 'Do they even know that doesn't cover their plate??' Anyway...just my 2 cents.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Janatlanric - I think your 'hideous' remark is pretty hideous and uncalled for

and I think ya gotta AT LEAST be a Board Fanatic to state some opinions like that

What do you base that opinion on ? You might as well write $150p/p on your invite..

Sorry, that struck a nerve.

Edited to add: Thanks LisaT for catching my error. $150 per couple. I still feel its in bad taste to call any monetary gift. I had some aunts who have very little and I was touched just to have them there...

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Niecey - NOT AT ALL! We saw a huge range too - some gave as little as $50 each, and some gave $300 each, I just hate to see when blanket statements are made, basically saying less than $XX is unacceptable.
I was a little surprised with some of our gifts too, but I just kept in mind that we really don't know anyone's financial situation, and some choose not to go into debt paying for a gift! LOL

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

seems like every conversation turns into a debate these days...

Anna- janatlanticabride said $150/couple not pp - though its still an awfully strong statement. I would never describe any gift as hideous (well except maybe some in that bad gift thread )

We had monetary gifts range from $50-1500/couple. But we also had friends fly in from CA that haven't given us any gift. Their presence was enough for me.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Anna & Teri & co.,
So sorry, I've obviously offended you, but there were certain circumstances which were appalling to me at my own wedding. I'd be glad to FM you the details if you want me to. Wow, pretty harsh attacking my board enthusiast status!

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Jan, I wasnt attacking your status, just a joke.

Ya gotta own some territory before making some statements ! (again, kidding!)

I agree that some people out there have no class. Ive heard it all, empty envelopes, no envelopes. Yes tacky and appalling. But from loved ones that cant afford any more...totally and completely acceptable.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

I hate to put words in people's mouths, but I'm 99.999% certain that Anna was joking about your board status, to lighten the mood.

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Understood! Truce?

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Truce

Jenn, you know me soo well

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Jan - that's ok, believe me, we had our surprises too. But to avoid getting upset every time I thought about the few relatives that stiffed us, I try and think that maybe they really could not afford anything. You just never know!