What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Original post by Elizabeth

Mar 04, 2003 07:00 PM

I am curious...if you dont think it's too personal to answer....but what do you give when you go to a wedding these days? I got married 2 years ago and I know what we paid but I have no idea what people pay anymore at different places/differents nights. Do you always feel obligated to 'cover your plate' or would you not go instead? Try not to look at this completely from a bride's POV but also from the guest's view. We are invited to a wedding at Carlyle on the Green next month, a Friday night wedding. What if you dont know what it costs or if you do, what if what it costs is more than you can afford? We are now a one income family and I need to be more practical about what weddings we can attend (non-close friends/family) b/c of the cost. My SIL said she generally gives $300-350 per couple...Gee, I've been giving about $100 less...more if it's a close friend/family but I thought $200/250 was the norm. Help!

Latina511 Posted: Mar 04, 2003 08:40 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

It depends because if they are really really close friends almost like family we give $500 but that is not all of them. If its just a friend $250-300 and family $350-500.

We went to 3 weddings last year and it varied but we didn't give anything under $300.

We are just the generous type though.

janatlantica Posted: Mar 04, 2003 08:43 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Latina, I wish you had been at mine! LOL

dkga1026 Posted: Mar 04, 2003 08:53 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Usually, for friends and acquaintances 100-150 a plate. For family and close friends, we give at least 150 a plate, but more like 200.

Diane Posted: Mar 04, 2003 09:00 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

same here. Our best friends received $300 and good friends we gave $250.

My sister...I gave her $400.

michele31 Posted: Mar 04, 2003 09:37 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

My sister and brother threw our RD as a w-gift, about $600 each. I would do the same for them.

For family and friends I give between $200-$300.

Honestly there were so 'nice' surprises when we had our wedding and there were some 'not so nice' surprises. It upset me at first but now I just focus on those who love me and not those who don't.

Buttafli1277 Posted: Mar 04, 2003 09:59 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Would you give a certain amount depending on where the wedding is located? Ex: VFW compared to Crest Hollow, or would you give the same amoount no matter how much you think the plate is and where the wedding is?

Karen H Posted: Mar 04, 2003 10:17 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

When I moved to NY from the midwest I was surpised by the 'cover your plate' concept. Most people 'back home' gave gifts from the registry or otherwise, and giving cash was rare. It still kind of rubs me wrong that MIL insisted she had to have a list of what all her relatives gave us, so she would know how to reciprocate for their family weddings, major birthdays, etc.

For our wedding, most of the cash came from DH's NY family while we got gifts from my side of the family, which to me was loads of fun, seeing what the UPS man brought each week. One nice thing about giving a gift instead of cash is it allows you the opportunity to give something nice while still getting a bargain. I got some really nice serving pieces of my formal china, that was on sale at Macy's, from family that otherwise would not have been able to give such a nice gift. And when I was in grad school I worked at a craft gallery. I was able to give some wonderful gifts that retailed for a lot more than I had to pay with my employee discount

But when in Rome, do as the Romans do... so we follow the local customs here, giving roughly $150 - $250 depending on the relationship.

yabbobay Posted: Mar 04, 2003 10:19 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Karen...my own mother asked for my list!!!

we usually give between $200-300

more for family

LisaT Posted: Mar 04, 2003 10:25 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

my in-laws wanted the list too - to see how their friends did

JustJodi Posted: Mar 04, 2003 11:49 PM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Bleh
I got married becuase I wanted to.
I invited my friends and family because I wanted to.

I honest to god could not of cared less if anybody gave me a gift or not. Had nothing to do with why I wanted a wedding. Spending money and inviting ppl is YOUR choice. PPl dont HAVE to give anything.
Though it is nice to come with a gift, what it is or how much it is really shouldnt make a difference.
JMI

Diane Posted: Mar 05, 2003 07:13 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

I wouldnt give more $$$ if the couple got married at a place I knew was more expensive.
That was THEIR choice in picking a place. I will give an amount based on how close they are to me.

anna Posted: Mar 05, 2003 07:30 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

About 'the list'.
I think we all have somehow remembered or at least made a comment or thought about what we've gotten from some people. (at least some!).

natasha Posted: Mar 05, 2003 08:14 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

I give between $200 to $500. However, I have also given $100 when that was all I could afford to give at that time.

I really think it depends on your finanacial situation.

VickiC Posted: Mar 05, 2003 08:22 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

We also give between $150 and $250 for friends. It all depends on how close we all are. We don't give any more or less based on where the recption is.

With 7 weddings of friends to go to this past year, we all agreed on no gifts to each other. Saved us from having to reciprocate the same amount to people, and it put less pressure on all of us knowing that we would have $1000 less to spend on all our own weddings.

christine1221 Posted: Mar 05, 2003 08:28 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

We've been giving about $300 per couple recently. However, when I was single & couldn't afford it, I gave what I could. Most people gave us between $250 - $400 for our wedding.

As Michele said, there were some nice surprises, and there were some not so nice surprises. Oh, well. Today I focus on how beautiful a day it was & how happy we are together!

teresa518 Posted: Mar 05, 2003 09:23 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

We usually give between $200 and $300 depending on our relationship to the couple.

We never concern ourselves with the cost of the plate. I think a couple spends what they want on the wedding and any financial gifts they receive are just nice gifts. JMO

Hope that helps.

Sassyz75 Posted: Mar 05, 2003 09:29 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

We are giving between $200-300. However, if one of us is in the wedding, we give less. I'm in a wedding this weekend and I'll give $150 because I contributed to the shower and all other events, etc. We can't afford more. DH's brother is getting married in April in Florida the day before Easter which is the most expensive time to fly to Florida... we are going to get them something off the registry- which is what they expect anyway as they dont do money gifts down South.

februarybride Posted: Mar 05, 2003 09:56 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

It really depends on the people getting married. For a friend we'll give $300 - a really good friend $500. For co-workers etc we'll give $200.

We had a cousin come with her FI and give us $30 - people give what they want! You give what you can and/or what you are comfortable with.

Stef28 Posted: Mar 05, 2003 09:57 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

I guess these threads always get me a little bit upset b/c I don't think how much money someone gives you should even be discussed. As someone said 'It's a gift' and that's enough.

Now I was surprised by some gifts that we received that weren't monetary but we still graciously accept them.

My husband and I too were giving about $100 as a gift for weddings.

I don't see why attending a wedding in NY should make any difference in how much I give as a gift. The couple is no more or less special to me based on where they get married.

Also you have to realize that not only do people not have huge pockets to give out hundreds of dollars for a wedding but some people have many weddings to attend in one year. The year and a half before my husband and I got married we had 10 weddings to attend. 5 of them one of us one in the wedding party and all of them required us to travel by plane and rental car. So that's a little rough on a young couple's budget.

So I think whatever you can afford is appropriate. Our friendship and loyalty to family shouldn't be judged by how much money we give as a wedding gift.

Anyway, that's my two cents on the issue.

ChristineC68 Posted: Mar 05, 2003 10:01 AM

Re: What do you give as a wedding gift these days $$?

Stef28, I think that's basically what everyone is saying. No one said that there is a minimum required gift or that they should give a gift that they can't afford.