Now that we are all delightedly committed to a lifetime of monogamy, I have to ask... What do you consider cheating?
I think we can all agree on the bug stuff, but Is a kiss cheating? What about a flirtation? What about no physical contact but watching pornography with someone else? How about watching someone (not your husband) do the equivalent of a girls stripper routine (strip to naked, dance around sexy, masturbate, etc)? Is that cheating?
Just Curious what everyone else thinks!
melissaandsean
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Re: what is cheating?
I think that's a very personal question. For some people one thing is cheating and for another couple it's not.
For me - any sort of physical, emotional, spirtual connection with another human being (man or woman) is cheating. That doesn't mean you can't have friends, or be connected to people in an emotional or spirtual way...but if it takes the place of your SO or the role of your SO, then we consider it cheating.
lrs2005
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Re: what is cheating?
I would consider everything ou listed cheating. I would add - spending time on line chatting with someone about sex/romance cheating too. As would I consider spending an inordinate amount of time (i.e. more time spent with this person than with the spouse) with someone else talking about marital things/joys/problems, etc. - that to me is emotional cheating.
Sweetd
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Re: what is cheating?
I think cheating is kissing and anything more than that.
N.Y.bride
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Re: what is cheating?
yes, yes & yes again
PKASHANSKY
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Re: what is cheating?
I agree with the first response. It is a personal decision to everyone what the meaning of cheating is. For myself, everything u named would be cheating within my marriage. I know if he did any of the things u named...he would have an immediate divorce. same goes vice versa. Though this is true for me, not everyone feels the same in their marriage.
JimmysBride
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Re: what is cheating?
I think was constitutes cheating can vary for alot of people (though I think almost everyone would agree that any form of intercourse or oral sex is cheating - except maybe swingers!).
For me yes, kissing is cheating, so are all the things you mentioned except watching (JUST watching) a stripper. Though if it was a 'friend' or an acquaintance that was doing a strip tease, I would definitely consider that a form of cheating.
The other question is - which of these are forgiveable! Oooh - spinoff coming...
hbradio
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Re: what is cheating?
How about a crush?
PrincessRose
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Re: what is cheating?
Posted by hbradio
How about a crush?
So funny you should mention that.
Last night we went to see Nickel Creek in concert, and we were talking to Sara Watkins, the violin player, after the show. I TOTALLY told her that Adam had a crush on her, and he was completely blushing. She was really sweet about it (and signed our CD)!
Anyway, crushes don't upset me. I've had crushes on multiple people before. That said, once you ACT on a crush, then it's cheating.
Kissing can be cheating, depends on the situation.
nferrandi
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Re: what is cheating?
I don't think flirtation is considered cheating at all. I flirt and I know my DH does too and it doesn't bother me one bit. It's completely innocent and just boosts your self esteem a bit.
hbradio
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Re: what is cheating?
Posted by PrincessRose
Posted by hbradio
How about a crush?
So funny you should mention that.
Last night we went to see Nickel Creek in concert, and we were talking to Sara Watkins, the violin player, after the show. I TOTALLY told her that Adam had a crush on her, and he was completely blushing. She was really sweet about it (and signed our CD)!
Anyway, crushes don't upset me. I've had crushes on multiple people before. That said, once you ACT on a crush, then it's cheating.
Kissing can be cheating, depends on the situation.
Rachel - you are the best! You always put my mind at ease!!!!
Oh and congrats on meeting the musicians!
PrincessRose
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Re: what is cheating?
Posted by hbradio
Rachel - you are the best! You always put my mind at ease!!!!
Oh and congrats on meeting the musicians!
Awwww, thanks Heather! Now *I'm* blushing!
The best part for me was telling Sara that we used one of their songs for our processional in the wedding. I'm such a HUGE fan.
I dont think a crush is cheating. A crush is like any other fantasy... being a millionaire, owning a paradise island, etc.
Its fun to daydream as long as you dont act on it or it negatively affects your marriage.
nferrandi
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Re: what is cheating?
Posted by diamondgrlie
Posted by hbradio
How about a crush?
I dont think a crush is cheating. A crush is like any other fantasy... being a millionaire, owning a paradise island, etc.
Its fun to daydream as long as you dont act on it or it negatively affects your marriage.
I agree.
keohime
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Re: what is cheating?
I don't think a crush is cheating either - it's pretty harmless. Flirting too! If flirting was cheating both my husband and I, and all of our friends, would be serial adulterers!
And may I just say that I *hate* bachelor parties? I know they are pros and all that, but jeez they drive me nuts! Especially the ones in private homes -- so much raunchier.
And may I just say that I *hate* bachelor parties? I know they are pros and all that, but jeez they drive me nuts! Especially the ones in private homes -- so much raunchier.
TOTALLY! My only request for DH's was to have it in a public place.
lindz
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Re: what is cheating?
Posted by diamondgrlie
Posted by keohime
And may I just say that I *hate* bachelor parties? I know they are pros and all that, but jeez they drive me nuts! Especially the ones in private homes -- so much raunchier.
TOTALLY! My only request for DH's was to have it in a public place.
Public doesn't mean a thing. My DH went to one in a restaurant (private room) where these 'pros' were doing things to each other! It was like a live porno. I was digusted! This was of course before he met me and changed his ways!
