What would you do....

If you found out after you were married that your DH had been cheating on you while you were dating?

Happening to a work friend of mine and she is beside herself!

Re: What would you do....

I dont know what I would do...it would depends on the circumstances.

But I know I would be completely heartbroken. What an aweful situation for her.

Re: What would you do....

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Posted by Sonicstef

I dont know what I would do...it would depends on the circumstances.

But I know I would be completely heartbroken. What an aweful situation for her.

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Ditto! I have no idea how I would react, but I'm guessing that I'd want to do some counseling.

Re: What would you do....

Really sucks. From like day one. She is now wondering if it has continued into her mariage. He doesn't know she knows yet. I have no advice for her.

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it definitely depends on the situation....I'd be heartbroken.....did she find out from him or via hearsay???

My trust would be damaged for sure...

Re: What would you do....

In my eyes....trust is such a huge part of a marriage! Without trust, there is not a whole lot left (except love) and I dont think you can survive on just love. If I was in her situation, I would do some hardcore thinking of what the rest of my life will be like, always wondering when he is out or who he is on the phone with. That would drive me crazy I wish her the best of luck!!!!!!

Re: What would you do....

After I initially beat him down and then cooled off, I think it would depend when it happened in the relationship. Frankie and I have been together 6 1/2 years, if it happened the first couple months that we were together and hasn't happened since then I would be angry for awhile and then let it go. If it happened more recently I would remind him why Lorena Bobbit is my IDOL!

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OMG I dont know what I would do!!!!!! I feel like throwing up just thinking about it... I am so sorry this is happening to your friend.

Re: What would you do....

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Posted by swags1016

After I initially beat him down and then cooled off, I think it would depend when it happened in the relationship. Frankie and I have been together 6 1/2 years, if it happened the first couple months that we were together and hasn't happened since then I would be angry for awhile and then let it go. If it happened more recently I would remind him why Lorena Bobbit is my IDOL!

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I agree with Swags on this one. If it happened a long time ago and in the early stages of the relationship I don't think I would be that mad. We have been together 8 years and started dating when we were 19...I would accept that it was a new relationship and that people are still pretty stupid and immature at that time. If it happened any later then that, I agree that my heart would be broken, I would question him all the time (who is he really talking to on the phone, is he really working overtime, was there really traffic that bad?) I don't know if I could continue being married with that much of a lack of trust.

Re: What would you do....

She found out from people other than her DH. I guess lots of people have known (as they saw him with other girls) and someone slipped at a party the other night and then the flood gates opened. They did the long distance thing for awhile so it was soooo easy for him to get away with it. He was good about covering his tracks when she was there to visit. She moved to where he was after the wedding and doesn't know that many people so they are out with his friends all the time. Which is how it slipped out.

Re: What would you do....

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Posted by JENHOS

She found out from people other than her DH. I guess lots of people have known (as they saw him with other girls) and someone slipped at a party the other night and then the flood gates opened. They did the long distance thing for awhile so it was soooo easy for him to get away with it. He was good about covering his tracks when she was there to visit. She moved to where he was after the wedding and doesn't know that many people so they are out with his friends all the time. Which is how it slipped out.

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So she really doesn't know when the cheating began or ended!! I don't think she would ever be able to trust him again!! I know I wouldn't

Re: What would you do....

how awful....I hope everything works out for your friend.

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oh crap....that's the worst way to find out....because then you don't know who to believe!!!

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How terrible. I feel so bad she has to go through this. I don't know what I'd so. Maybe counseling because I know my trust would definitely be shattered.

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Id FU$#Ck him up! Thats terrible! Im so sorry for your friend. I dont know if that is something I would be able to handle..the fact that he was so sneaky...not a good quality in a man! But like everyone else said, if it went on when they first met..thats one thing..but if it continued on when they were serious, or engaged..thats very very bad. Im so sorry for your friend. I hope that she is able to get to the truth and make some smart decisions!!! Lots of hugs to her!!

Re: What would you do....

I think it totally depends on the circumstances.

But, as for your friend, It sucks how she found out!

Re: What would you do....

That is sad....

I think I would flip out.

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She confronted him and he denied it. She admitted to me that she knew early in their relationship but she truned a blind eye. She is a mess.

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Please give her some for me. What an awful situation for her to be in.

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That's awful, Jen. I would probably leave him for denying it. If I was in that situation, I would be able to forgive cheating if it was early in our dating (I did the long distance thing, too) if my DH came clean, told me everything and was appropriately horrified with his own behavior. Cheating NOW, I don't think I could forgive.

The fact that he feels the need to lie about it now indicates to me that he still has something to hide. At this point, he should not.