When raising your children.....

I have a couple of questions I would like to asK

1. Will you be more strict with your daughter than your son? I mean giving her shorter curfews,not allowing her to go out as much

2. Will you only teach your daughter to cook and do household chores, not your son?


These may seem like silly questions, but I have noticed with some of my friends who have brothers, there was a distinct difference in how they were both raised. The sons were allowed to run wild and pretty much have no responsibilty,while the daughter was raised quite the opposite.

Forgive me if I am generalizing,but I see this alot.

As for me I plan on not doing this with my son and daughter.

Re: When raising your children.....

Both of my kids were raised the same and they both know how to cook, do laundry and clean (not that my son does these things but he knows how!!!! ). They were also raised with the same basic rules, but those rules were flexed depending on the child and situation. My daughter was pretty wild and got into trouble a lot. My son was very good and rarely caused trouble. She was usually punished more than he was simply because she earned it! They both were expected to be responsible individuals and their limits and guidelines were based on their behavior.

Re: When raising your children.....

1. Will you be more strict with your daughter than your son? I mean giving her shorter curfews,not allowing her to go out as much

Yes because I know how I was as a young girl-WILD and I'd like to try to protect her more if possible. I also see the way girls dress today and whoa!

2. Will you only teach your daughter to cook and do household chores, not your son?

If I have either sex, they both will learn to cook since DH is an excellent cook, so the male and him can cook together, and I want them both to learn responsibility.

Re: When raising your children.....

Jennbaby, so if you have two teens , i.e, the boy is 16 and the girl is 15, and they both decide to go out one night separately with friends- you are going to give the girl the shorter curfew and let your son stay out later?

Re: When raising your children.....

Kiesha most likey yes..or have them come home the same time, a decent time!

I told John I am definately going to be more strict with a daughter if I have one.

Re: When raising your children.....

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Posted by nrvbrd

I have a couple of questions I would like to asK

1. Will you be more strict with your daughter than your son? I mean giving her shorter curfews,not allowing her to go out as much

2. Will you only teach your daughter to cook and do household chores, not your son?

.

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1. I plan on being strict with both, LOL!!!

2. ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!! MY DH cooks, cleans and helps around the hpuse and we will teach our son/daughter the SAME things.

Re: When raising your children.....

Enzo and I were talking about this the other day.

He said that he will be more strict with his than with . After talking to him some more I told him no way, that that wasn't fair. We came to an agreement that they will have the same curfew. So if is suppose to have the shorter curfew, will have the same curfew as well.

As for treating them the same for chores. I had told Enzo on Monday that I did not want boys. The conversation came up because I had cleaned on Sunday but then Monday I felt like nothing was done. Enzo and my brother (he lives with us) doesn't seem to help sometimes like keeping the bathroom clean.
Right away, he said 'oh my son is going to be gay. I can already see him'. I said to him what kind of statement is that. If I have a boy they are going to learn to do everything just as my daughter will also.

I gave him the example of how when he moved out of his house he didn't even know how to do his own laundry and I had to teach him. He also learned how to iron because I wasn't going to be ironing for him all the time.
Then he agreed with me that boys need to learn also. I think they need to be independent so when they are on their own they don't have to depend on mommy or his wife/girlfriend.

Re: When raising your children.....

If I have children, they better watch out!!

I plan on being very involved in their lives, knowing who their friends are, who their friends parents are, and things like that. It would NOT be beneath me to go through their things if I suspected drugs or something like that.

Sons and daughters will BOTH be treated equally, not only having equal curfews, but sharing equal chores around the house.

In my opinion, raising a girl to have earlier curfews and less freedom will make her resentful that her brother has it easier, and she will rebel even worse. Besides, a guy can get into just as much trouble as a girl. A guy can't get pregnant, but he can get someone else pregnant, which is just as bad. Not to mention other dangerous guy things, like excessive drinking, stupid risk taking, etc.

Raising kids these days is HARD. They are 10 going on 18. It's very scary.

Re: When raising your children.....

Kathy- thank you so much!!!!

You meet some men who cannot even do their own laundry, or do not even know how to turn on the oven- why is this because the parents think because he is a boy this will be useless- WRONG!!!!!

So many men come into relationships so clueless and WE have to teach them. That is not our job

Re: When raising your children.....

wendy!!! what a great attitude...I only hope that I can be like you....

I hope to treat my children as individuals based on their character and not whether or not they have something in their pants...

Re: When raising your children.....

WE have both, my step-daughter is 12 and my son is 6. I already taught a lot to my step daughter and will do the same with my son.

About being strict, we are extremely strick with my step-daughter because at 12 years old she is already real boy crazy and basically her real mom does a lot of guy to guying so she thinks that is normal. (and I have gone through her stuff...she is also sneaky at 12)

My son about being strict with it depends are a few things, how his school work is and who his friends are. If I don't care for his friends I he will be having early curfews. Let you know in a couple of years

Re: When raising your children.....

I don't agree with the idea of a double standard. I think it perpetuates society's stereotypes about the gender roles.

Al knew how to cook and clean and do laundry long before I came into his life. Part of being a parent is teaching your child to become an individual and learn how to be responsible.

I think its totally unfair to give a different curfew based on gender. Why punish someone for being a girl?

Any differences in my children's discipline will be based on age and character, not gender.

(was never an issue in my house since my parents had 3 girls, but that meant we mowed the lawn and shoveled the driveway as well as cleared the table after dinner)

Re: When raising your children.....

I plan to treat both sexes equally.

My mom tried to do it un-equally for my twin siblings of different sexes, and that back-fired, albeit only recently at the age of 22.

(my sister wasn't allowed to stay over at her boyfriend's, but brother was allowed to stay over at girlfriend's house, hence my sister rebelled, and I believe at the age of 22 - correctly)

Re: When raising your children.....

I plan to treat both sexes equally.

At to household chores, they will both learn how to cook, clean, and take care of themselves.

Re: When raising your children.....

1. Will you be more strict with your daughter than your son? I mean giving her shorter curfews,not allowing her to go out as much.

My children will be treated equally. Their individual behavior will dictate whether or not they are given specific curfews. Truth is you can have $ex or do drugs at 2pm just as easily as 10pm. In fact, with many parents both working your children are more likely to do those types of things at 2pm because the house has no adults in it.

2. Will you only teach your daughter to cook and do household chores, not your son?

My children will be expected to know how to care for themselves regardless of gender. I do not want my son's wife to ever say to me 'I cannot believe he doesn't know how to do laundry' and I never want my daughter's husband to say to me 'I wish that she could pick up after herself.' I also want them to both know how to use a drill, paint a wall and change their tire.

I plan on being very involved in their lives. I want to know their friends and their friend's parents. I want to know who is driving where and when. Not just 'we are getting a ride and I will be back at 9pm'.

I saw an Oprah once (and it made A LOT of sense to me) about gun problems in homes and the police officer said, 'Parents don't ask other parents if there are guns in the home. They need to know if their child has any access to guns' And that will be one of my first questions before allowing my child inside their home.

My best friend has a 15 year old daughter, and an 11 year old son. It shocks me to no end how often the daughter's friends parents just change plans without consulting my friend. For instance, one of her friend's dads was driving some of the girls to the movies. The movie ended up being sold out so he let them stay at the movie theatre until the next showing---which was starting at 10pm. When my friend's daughter called her to let her know 'she'd be late' my friend was shocked that a father would drop off 3 13 year old girls on a Friday night and tell them it was okay to hang around and see the 10pm showing. My friend told her daughter 'Sorry. I am coming to get you. I do not want you at the theatre until midnight'
I think the father should have told the girls to call their parents and ask if it was okay, not just assume it was. And the list never ends.

I will not read a diary unless their is one heck of a good reason. I believe that everyone has a right to private thoughts and when that is violated it can cause a rift that cannot be repaired very easily. But that is JMO.

Re: When raising your children.....

Michele, that is ridiculous.

I would not want my 15 year old at a movie theatre after midnight. How irresponsible of that parent!

Re: When raising your children.....

My home will have a gun in it, because my DH is a police officer. Although he was also raised with a gun in the house and he knows how to deal with it in terms of children. When he's here, he unloads it and puts a lock on the trigger because I have a niece and nephew that come over sometimes.

When he was growing up, his father showed him the gun, educated him about its dangers, and told him that any time he wanted to see it, all he had to do was ask and his dad would take it out and let him look at it under supervision. It completely demystified the gun and he never felt the need to get into mischief about it.

I still think I'd want it in a safe, though, if I have children.

I agree, that you should know if another child's parents have a gun in the house. I never thought of that!!

Re: When raising your children.....

One of my closest friend lost her 17 year old nephew in a drinking game when an 19 year old friend shot him accidently with a gun the 19 year old's dad had in the house. This issue is very important to me.

A police officer with his gun in a safe is one thing...a hunter with his shotgun on the wall is another.

And get this...one of my little brother's friend's parents, who my family has known for years mentioned to my mom that she and her husband still smoke pot sometimes....How on earth do you teach your 14 year old NOT to do drugs when you have them inside your home..and worse, my little brother has been to that house tons of times. I guess you can never really know who your child are around...very scary.

Re: When raising your children.....

Re: When raising your children.....

1. Will you be more strict with your daughter than your son? I mean giving her shorter curfews,not allowing her to go out as much
'
'Never both will be brought up to respect each others bodies and those of others. Oops that for the sex talk. No they willboth have to respect their parents and if they dont like they can always leave. Id like the extra $$ to tour Europe

2. Will you only teach your daughter to cook and do household chores, not your son?

'Never my mom did this with me and I loath domestic duties. each will have chores.

'