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Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

Lara, if it helps at all, I do not think for a minute that you're being shallow (and you know I would tell you ).

The truth is, you poured your heart and soul into planning your wedding (like so many of us) and it DOES sting when something you thought you did 'right' turned out 'wrong.' This happened to me with my photographer - so I totally know how you feel.

One question - can you ask your parents not to bring up a sore subject anymore? Maybe if they knew how much this truly upsets you, they would not make comments anymore.

I honestly don't think that this will be your strongest memory years from now - really, I don't! I am sorry that you feel so heartbroken now, but it's in the past and you cannot go back and change it. I wish I had the right words for you - I don't know if I'm making sense or not, but I just want to offer you some b/c I know what that feeling is like and it is not shallow at all.

Cheer up, and let us know what the band manager comes back to you guys with. He does OWE you guys - I hadn't realized (from your previous posts) that they were so profitable b/c of your recommendations.

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

That would upset me too!! So I'm sending some your way

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

I really understand what you are saying! I hope it makes you feel better that you were a more beautiful bride

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

I don't think these are the sort of things you can just get over. My band made one mistake -- they called my brother's name instead of my husbands to dance with his mom, so my husband never got a formal dance with his mother. 14 months later and it still makes me sad -- I can only imagine how you feel when the issues were so much more!

Just try to remember that while you may not have had the seemless reception, that you did get to marry your fabulous husband -- and no one else did!

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

I'm so sorry youre upset I don't think you're being shallow, I would feel the same way.

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

I'm sorry you are so upset over this..
I also agree that although it is not a comforting thing to hear right now, this will not be something that will affect you so much in the future.
I think we all wish that certain things, whether big or small might have been different or went different on our special day but thats not ultimatly the memories that we carry with us.
Also remember how much more critical you must of been durring that day then your guests were.
What was 'decent' to you was probably up a higher notch to your guests..
Think happy thoughts

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

I understand-well sort of:

I am sorry you are upset about the band.

My dad had a heart attack & he has heart trouble, so forever, I planned to read him a poem right before I danced with him-OUT LOUD.
Well i was SO nervous but prepared to do this!

The dumb dj (my friend) , starts the music and he doesnt annnouce, as PLANNED that I wanted to read a poem, well the music starts and I am so nervous to say 'stop the music'.
John motioned to me, but it was already too late, I gave him the poem after my HM, and read it to him in my living room. I can never change this!!

Also, my wedding was not what i dreamed cause of my back, i danced only to 3 songs, with john, my dad & my mom. Needless to say when the bride is not out there dancing, the dance floor isnt very crowded, so this hurt me and my wedding wasnt as 'nice' as i thought it would be. Also my DJ played one request after another so alot of newer stuff wasn't played and my dance floor wasn't whaT I wanted it to be.

So I understand...you can't shake the feeling of something that you can nver go back & do again

But just know, you are married now and your love to your DH and his love for you, is all that really matters!

x

x

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

I'm sorry you were upset!

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

Oh wow ... I can't believe she said that ... oh, I would have been very upset. And I would be very upset about the band issue too. I think you have every right to feel the way you do ... they are your feelings ... and they are not shallow.

You can't change the band or the way people reacted to the band or the wedding. I'm sure you had a beautiful wedding overall ... since you married the man of your dreams. Try to remember that each time you get upset ... maybe it will help to comfort you.

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

Oh, Misty, I am so sorry you are upset!

You are absolutely not shallow at all! After all the planning and stressing over this one perfect day, after looking at dozen of vendors you finally pick one and they disappoint you! You have a reason to be upset and you are so right to demand an explanation and a refund for the no-show lead singer!

It is so understandable to be upset thinking about this day that you can never RE-live this day again and knowing something could haven been done better! Knowing that someone’s lack of responsibility and organization and just plain stupidity prevented your wedding day to be everything you hoped it would be!

I think every bride has a story to tell! Everyone’s day lacked something because of someone else’s negligence! Me, I can honestly say that the only vendor who DIDN’T screw up ANYTHING at all was my florist who did a superb job and left me totally pleased with her work! Everyone else let things slip. In more than one way! I mean, my f88ing hall went out of business! We looked at 16 places before finally booking Roslyn Country Club and we totally fell in love with it, and the a$$*ole owner s*r*d us over!

So, obviously, my visions of 'The day' were very disturbed by that fact!

I feel so bad for you because I know exactly how you feel! My own tactic in dealing with the problem is trying not to think about it too much! What’s done is done! Hey, at least we found the men of out dreams! A lot of women never even get that luxury! (I know it's the most over used thing to say to make someone feel better, but, hey, it is true!)

When I want to make myself feel better, I always start planning our big 10th anniversary party in my head! Everything is going to be perfect on THAT day!

Dear Misty, I hope this matter is resolved in a way that gives you peace of mind!

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

You know that I totally understand your feelings. Of course you know what happened to me with my band. Now there are girls on the bride board saying the band I booked is all showing up for their weddings. It upsets me that it worked out for others and not me. I went to numerous showcases throughout the year to keep an eye on any changes, etc so this wouldnt of happened to me. We even brought it up the day we put a deposit down. If I was at a wedding and the whole band was there, I would feel EXACTLY the way you do! I think it is natural to feel that way. I still think about it and get upset, but not as much. I too went on and on about the female singer of my band to everyone and she never even showed. It was devastating!!!!

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

Misty - Im so sorry about all of this. I wish I could tell you something that would help put it behind you but I know that I am still pi$$ed about the very small things that went wrong on my wedding day and I dont think I will ever just forget about it - so I can hardly give you any worthwhile tips.

What i will say is that you can be of two minds about it - loving that you are married and happy with the things that went right AND pi$$ed as hell about the things that went wrong. It does not make you a shallow person or ungrateful for the good things..it just makes you human :D

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

I dont know what to say but here are hugs

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

Sorry Misty! I don't think you're shallow at all.

There were a few things about my wedding that upset me, too, and I feel terrible when I think about the fact that the day has passed and I will never get a second chance.

First of all, it rained buckets, and my pictures were not what I dreamed they would be.

Secondly, for some reason, even though we had an AWESOME DJ, nobody wanted to dance. I think the dancefloor was crowded once or twice, but sometimes it was only my DH and I out there!

We had about 800 napkins printed with our names and a castle on them. My wedding was June 1. I came across the napkins in July under my coffee table!!! I had forgotten about them!!

Also my BF wasns't there, which I never would have expected in a million years. 23 years of friendship and she backed out.

While some people's wedding day's go off without a single glitch, I think it's rare. I also think we have such HIGH expectations for that day, that we're almost guaranteed to have some kind of let down when the actual day arrives and passes.

You're not shallow---you're NORMAL.

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

Lara, FM.

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

you have every right to be upset...but the old adage...time heals all wounds will come to play out...just focus on the future...and remember the great things at the wedding...

Re: Kind of heartbroken..don't know how to make it go away...

To everyone....



Claud..FM.