20 days to go and depressed from September 11

I'm getting married in 20 days and my FH and wen't to a memorial service over the weekend for a friend that is still among the missing from WTC 9/11. it was the saddest service i had ever been to. Especially when his wife went up to do a rememberance, and she introduced they're 6 month old son to everyone. Fh and i were bawling, this couple was supposed to attend our wedding and I feel terrible that she just lost her husband of 1 yr. and I'm gaining one. Mike and I are actually considering starting a family soon after we wed, because we put life in to perspective, and said that thank god alana has their son, she'll always have a part of pete with her, i have such admiration for her that she is so strong right now for their baby, because i don't know if i could be that strong. we will include a memorial for him at our wedding, but it will be very sad for all of us. I just needed to vent, Thank you all for listening Heidi

We're listening and we understand.

But you need to make your wedding a celebration of life! Don't feel guilty for wanting to have a good time. My wedding was the Saturday after the attacks. I felt guilty having a good time when all of this was going on. But everyone wanted a way to smile, laugh and celebrate. It does put things and perspective and make us appreciate what we do have. I hope you have a blessed wedding.

Survivor`s guilt

Many people have it...and those who are affected aren`t just the people who made it out of the buildings. When you mention 'she lost her husband and I am gaining one' says alot about what you are feeling. I know this woman wouldn`t want you to feel bad about it and the best way to honor someone who`s life was taken so tragically is to continue to live! The events of September 11th have changed all our lives because so many of us knew people and are aware of how there is a story for every single person in the buildings, planes and firefighter`s gear. Your wedding may not have the 'footloose and fancy free' feeling that you were no doubt envisioning a month ago but it is still nonetheless a celebration of the beauty of this world. God bless. Keep sharing about it!

It takes a lot of time

This is not something that people will 'get over' in a few days or even weeks. I am so sorry about your friend. How horrible to have to deal with a lose while trying to enjoy your wedding plans. I cannot say I understand exactly how you feel because I still a year to go before my wedding. However I will say that you should celebrate your wedding, not mourn. I am sure that your friend would have wanted you to enjoy and be happy. Also, I am sure his wife is cherishing every moment of their life together and would want you to have the same happy memories as she does. Maybe you can add his name to one of your prayers in the ceremony. I am sure that your Priest or Rabbi can also offer you a few thoughts to help you during this time. Have a wonderful, blessed day.

20 days to go and depressed from September 11

Enjoy your special day. I got married the Sat. after the attack and everyone reminded me how important it is to enjoy life especially the very special memories of the wedding. Enjoy and show that life does go on.