2nd Time Around Brides...Question for ya w/poll

I have a friend that is getting married for the 2nd time and I'm just curious what some of you are doing for your 2nd wedding.

So will your 2nd wedding be more or less elaborate than your 1st? About the same? Also does age, duration of 1st marriage, or length of time since divorce have any impact on how you chose to do your 2nd wedding?

Hey there!

I am only married once but I can tell you what happened with my parents when they were both remarried the year I was 10 years old.

My moms was much less elaborate than her first to my dad. It was in a friends backyard, catered buffet, etc. But she did have a DJ, white dress (off white - haha), BMs (us kids) and professionally done invites.

My dads second wedding (to my stepmom) was very elaborate; HUGE wedding at the Crest Hollow, and the whole 9. She even used a highly despised florist!

BUT I am sure this is because it was her first marriage - she was in her early 30s, it was her first go around.

If I were to ever get married again I wouldnt do the whole big shabang again but thats just me. I certainly dont knock someone for wanting to do the big thing no matter how many times they have been married.

I can also only speak from what my mom did, but her's was much less elaborate. They had about 100 people and it was at the Country House in Stony Brook. They had a best man, maid of honor, and then i was the flower girl (I was 6).

It was very nice, but much more simple. I actually believe they had a brunch (but I could be mistaken since i was so young).

No professional photos, dj, etc, though they did have a pianist during part of the reception (i took over that duty at his break )

My uncle did the wedding video (which, I thought was all about me, and I believe I mananged to get on camera every time he hit record ).

My dad's second marriage was a normal 'virginia' wedding, since it was his new wife's first marriage.

Mine was bigger and more elaborate than my first. For my first we eloped, just the two of us. Biggest mistake of my life.. so as you could see I couldnt do anything but go bigger

I went all out. My parents deserved it and Anthony is 36 and it was his first and only wedding, so we made it real special.

My 2nd was MUCH smaller than my 1st.
1st was at Miller Place Inn with almost 200 guests, band, etc.

2nd I got married at Village Hall, and had a house party.

For me,this was definetly the hardest 'hump' of the whole wedding process. I was married before,so young & naive (21) basically everyone made the decisions for me. I would say it was elaborate but absolutely no attention to detail. We had 300 ppl at a hall in Jersey that basically does everything,my older girl cousins arrainged for my hair,make-up (no trials) photo,video,etc.

Fast foward to now, being 11 yrs wiser,more stable $$$ & with a career... I definetly had direction and knew exactly what I wanted! Since it was my DH first (& last ) wedding- plus he was the firstborn son in a very Euro family..it had to be big. I originally wanted an intimate dinner,not many ppl in a restaurant,somewhere in the city. He wanted flowers,favors,band & DJ...EVERYTHING!!

This totally put me in a dilema because I came from the old school kinda thinking that I already did this, I wasn't 'entitled' to do it again,who was I to ask ppl once again to give gifts,spend $$- come celebrate. Blah-Blah-Blah.
To my disbelief,my family & friends were soooo supportive so I decided to go foward but as simple,classy and intimate as possible.
We had 200 ppl at North Ritz,ceremony was outside,flowers galour,candles everywhere. I only invited 50 ppl from my side-only closest family & friends,I didn't want to see 'aquaintances'. NO BRIDAL PARTY.. the best decision,just BestMan & MOH..my 8 yr old son gave me away. He was involved 100%.I had no shower party(we already have everything-house,lenox,etc).

Its hard to do things & not be judged. I was fully aware that it wasn't the wedding day or wedding prep & stress that made a marriage,its the lifetime that follows that day. I think it was a great day,but I wouldn't say 'BEST' day of our lives... wedding day is nothing compared to giving birth! For me, the day I had my son,was the first day of my life.
Hopefully the New Year will bring a repeat performance... we're working on