3 months later, we got a thank you!

Original post by CLMon7906

Jun 22, 2006 09:23 AM

so just yesterday i was thinking that we attended this wedding in march...and still no thank you...how could a LIW bride do such a thing??? well, finally it came yesterday...but still...3 months?? ladies, that's just too long. oh, and my name was left off the envelope AGAIN. unbelievable. we live together, we're getting married in 2 weeks and i wrote the check out!!!!! sorry...but that just bugs me.

edited for those complaining:

the thank you was NOT a photo nor did it include one. so, for a non-photo thank you, 3 months is a bit long. she doesn't have that much going on in her life and her job is as boring as mine.

sr081906 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:07 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

If we need to be married to answer about thank you notes, then I guess I qualify. This is my second wedding!

Jackie&Justin Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:19 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

I went to a wedding 1 year ago and I still haven't recieved one, in fact she just sent out her shower thanks you's not too long ago.....I think 6 months is a good time to send them out...3 months is not a long time, and it can go by quite quickly..

mycrayon1 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:29 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by CLMon7906

the thank you was NOT a photo nor did it include one. so, for a non-photo thank you, 3 months is a bit long. she doesn't have that much going on in her life and her job is as boring as mine.

I have to agree with the non-photo Thank you's. I know that it's ok to send them up to a year later, but lets be realistic. I just had my e-party on the 17th of June and the thank you's are almost all done. While we didn't have to write 150 of them I did sit down and write 75 of them by hand with a special little note in each one!

KandE917 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:31 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by leese

Posted by CLMon7906

hmm..considering someone had to search through pages to find it again....

I think you are missing my point. I'm no means trying to flame you or anything. But your original post says that '3 months is too long' and then you say...by the way...she left my name off the thank you. If you re-read it, it seems that you care MOSTLY that she sent it 3 months after the wedding and 'how could a LIW bride do that.'

I know you clarify your position later on, but as you can see, a lot of posters didn't see that. If it were me (and believe me, I have had it be me before), I would have edited my original post to clarify what I meant, because as it stands, you are saying in your first post that the 3 months is too long.

Obviously, it's sensitive to many people. I am sure once you are married and are awaitng your proofs and then agonizing over the 'best' pic for the thank you (and then have to write all them out!) you will understand why it takes a while to get them out the door!

I was just giving you a suggestion, rather than trying to stir something up. Since this post came back from the old pages, it's obviously something that bothered some brides.

Well put Leese!!!

Gosh you just made a suggestion that she should have changed her subject....which I think we all agree with here....and she made that rude comment about going thru pages to find the post!

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:32 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

REGARDLESS of the # of guests, how long your proofs take to get in if you insist on a photo thank you or what you believe is proper etiquette, the absolute WRONG thing to do is NOT thank the right people. plain and simple, this bride did something incredibly rude and it wasn't appreciated. she did not use a photo thank you so to give her that as an excuse in her timing and rudeness is just crazy talk.

this whole thread got out of hand and i don't feel that i should change the title just because someone searched through pages of threads to find it and kept it going all day. it does show that many of us read the last couple of replies and not the full thread or even the original posts at times and comment away on what we believe was thought or said.

we should all take a step back and realize that: YES, some people assume a shorter wait for thank yous...i know my older relatives would think i was snubbing them if they didn't hear back well before the 3 month mark.
YES, some people think it's OK to wait a whole year even though it's more of a rumor than fact (i googled it the other day and no one said wait up to a year).
YES, it's incredibly rude to leave off/out the truly significant other in a thank you or invite...especially when it's their check you are cashing!
and, YES, we must all learn to agree to disagree. po-tay-to, po-tah-to!

now please, just let this die.

KandE917 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:34 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by sr081906

Disclaimer: I am not targeting anyone

While I understand that brides have to wait for the photographer's proof, I am not quite sure why the harsh words towards another bride expressing what she experienced or how she feels about it.

It is interesting that while brides are tired, exhausted from their wedding, have better things to do, etc. they have found the time to get all the presents and cash in no time. Am I wrong?

So, it's not about excuses. We all know we procastinate a bit. I am guilty of that too. But this is about respect and plain and simple being polite.

Would we accept a birthday present without saying thank you? While we have 1 year to do so for a wedding. Come one Ladies!

If you don't care, good for you. I actually would be guilty about it!

The OP was the one who was doing the attacking back at people who nicely responded to her post that they didn't think 3 months was a long time. Then she changes her story to say that she was more upset about her name being left off...so why didn't she say that in her subject then?

PrincessRose Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:35 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by sr081906

If you don't care, good for you. I actually would be guilty about it!

I completely understand what you're saying, but I'm not going to hold it against anyone for not sending one. Life's too precious to get angry over this kind of thing.

My response was less targeted at OP than it was towards the girls who are not yet married and being rather high and mighty about 3 months being too long to take for TY notes. All I'm saying is that they'll feel differently when they get back from their HM to 8 voicemails asking when they're getting the TY notes out.

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:37 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by PrincessRose

Posted by sr081906

If you don't care, good for you. I actually would be guilty about it!

I completely understand what you're saying, but I'm not going to hold it against anyone for not sending one. Life's too precious to get angry over this kind of thing.

My response was less targeted at OP than it was towards the girls who are not yet married and being rather high and mighty about 3 months being too long to take for TY notes. All I'm saying is that they'll feel differently when they get back from their HM to 8 voicemails asking when they're getting the TY notes out.

no, you didn't have voice mails did you?

actually, i did have one and an email after our e-party from FMIL!!!

Shannondon Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:39 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Here's an even better one, we recieved a thank you for a wedding in the same envelope they sent the birth annoucement in!! Now, thats tacky......It was almost a year after the wedding and honeymoon baby.

smurray Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:40 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by FallBride05

Posted by sr081906

Disclaimer: I am not targeting anyone

While I understand that brides have to wait for the photographer's proof, I am not quite sure why the harsh words towards another bride expressing what she experienced or how she feels about it.

It is interesting that while brides are tired, exhausted from their wedding, have better things to do, etc. they have found the time to get all the presents and cash in no time. Am I wrong?

So, it's not about excuses. We all know we procastinate a bit. I am guilty of that too. But this is about respect and plain and simple being polite.

Would we accept a birthday present without saying thank you? While we have 1 year to do so for a wedding. Come one Ladies!

If you don't care, good for you. I actually would be guilty about it!

Right, we're all entitled to our opinions, but the ladies that have already been married and through this, do have more insight than the ladies who have yet to experience this. I had a 500 person guest list. You try getting TY's out within a 6 week period for that many people.

You'll feel very differently after your day comes and goes too.

I'm quite proud of myself that it really only took 3 months from the time I received the TY cards and pictures back from my photog (approx 9 weeks from my wedding) . to get that many TY's out.

I agree w/ sr081906.... But in the other brides defense I guess I see where they're coming from too. I've had many friends go through this who were waitng for pictures from theor photographer.
What they did do was send out regular thank you's to those who they came in regular contact w/ on in everyday basis....(like in Cheryl's case) so they wouldn't feel like they weren't appreciated

PrincessRose Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:41 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by CLMon7906

no, you didn't have voice mails did you?

actually, i did have one and an email after our e-party from FMIL!!!

Yes, I did. From my FIL. Because he'd been to a wedding the week before ours and he'd already gotten a TY from that couple.

A few weeks later, MIL called me and said that 'Grandma was so upset that she hasn't gotten a thank you note yet that she's not going to send you any more presents'. Because I'm clearly 5 years old and only swayed by the thought of never getting a present again.

CLMon7906 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:43 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

Posted by PrincessRose

A few weeks later, MIL called me and said that 'Grandma was so upset that she hasn't gotten a thank you note yet that she's not going to send you any more presents'. Because I'm clearly 5 years old and only swayed by the thought of never getting a present again.

SPITSBRIDE Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:49 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

I sent out my 'Thank You' cards after 6 months, they would have been sent out a lot sooner but when we returned from my honeymoon it was 1 week before Christmas and at the time presents were my priority. Shortly after the holidays we put an offer on our house which at the time we were pretty busy with that, although there is no excuse we were pretty busy going back and forth with the house. My mom was giving me hell because the 'Thank You' cards weren't out two months after the wedding. I made it my priority and finally picked out a picture. It took Duet several weeks to email me the proof which I was not happy with, I am sure some of you girls remember how undecided I was at the time. Well to make a long story short, I ended up changing my 'Thank You' picture and was told by Duet they will be ready in 21 days, well over 1 month goes by without me realizing, I called them and was told they were finally ready for pick up and they were going to call me that week. I picked them up the next day and began working on them, they were in the mail in two days. All in all my 'Thank You' cards were out 6 months after my wedding date and I don't see anything wrong with that. People mainly care about receiving a 'THANK YOU' and not too many indivduals put a time frame on it.

My point is, you don't know what that couple is going thru and the reason for the delay. Yes, if it's pure laziness than I have to agree, that is just plain old RUDE but there may be a legitimate reason why you didn't receive one within a certain amount of time so you shouldn't attack brides on here being NOT every bride did or has sent out a 'Thank You' within 3 months.

Not trying to stir up anymore drama, just wanted to explain that sometimes there is a delay for a reason.

bournebride Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:52 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

ettiquette says you have up to six months for a thank you. I have gone to weddings that they didn't give out thank you's. People are different.

Sunrise813 Posted: Jun 27, 2006 03:59 PM

Re: 3 months later, we got a thank you!

I think this whole thread is silly….. I hate the word etiquette, I think that that word gets thrown around to much especially on this website. Listen if someone didn’t get their thank you’s out within 3 months (which by the way I think is phenomenal) then maybe just maybe they have a few other things going on, maybe moving to a new house or just plain old settling into married life

I am the worst I haven’t even began to think about writing my thank you’s or my LIW review I am too busy enjoying married life. But I promise to get them out with in a year for those so concerned with the “etiquette” of it all. The thing is I don’t feel the least bit guilty over this.