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3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

Original post by shcole08

So, as of now one of my bridesmaids has dropped out because she wants to get pregnant. Two others are trying to get pregnant. Tonight I saw the girl who dropped out and now she is saying she might be 9 months preggers and might not be able to come. We have been friends since we are 3. I mean this is going to a awesome batchlorette party with all these pregnant girls. I mean not for nothing I don't care if they are pregnant for the wedding and are bridesmaids but, I was there for them when they got married and am I wrong to be upset about this?

Ann 52409 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

1of my BM is singing the same song but, we are going to wait and see what happens before she drops out. I dont know why she dropped out if she is not even pregnant yet.

Munchkn16 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

I understand that you're upset, and a little surprised at your friend for dropping out completely. Is there something else she'd be willing to do, like a reading?

Bridey Bride Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

If she's actually pregnant and will be 9 months at your wedding- I can understand dropping out since there's a possibility she'll give birth right before or at your wedding.

DGoldfarb0776 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

I have a similar situation although my MoH didn't say she was dropping out just yet but I feel that she will in the end. She's almost due (in January) and she hasn't even ordered her gown for my March wedding! I am hoping that it would work out but not so sure but I realize I'll be disappointed (I had another BM drop out for financial reasons 10 months before the wedding) but she's still coming as a guest and I have known her since I was 4 years old.

I can definitley feel the pain and all but I also realize that people are going to realize their lives come before our wedding plans.
jessamyn78 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

Why are they dropping out if they want to get pregnant? Why can't they just be pregnant bridesmaids?

cammolax23 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

hey think of it this way..... they can wear these dresses!!


MKEA98 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

I totally understand where you're coming from. One of my friends is talking about possibly getting pregnant and made a comment like oh I can't be walking down the aisle if I'm vomiting all over myself. I thought that was a bit dramatic. I told her she could get a maternity dress, etc. And then she kept talking about vomiting. I was like well I'm asking you now, and I kind of need to know now cause we have to get dresses, and I can't have someone dropping out as I'm planning, etc. She was like oh yeah I know, I understand.

I don't know what she plans to do, but I will be pissed if she plans to drop out. Cause she wants to get pregnant around August, and my wedding is in November. Her excuse that she might be vomiting is so lame. I'm not asking her to put her pregnancy on hold or anything like that at all! I just don't understand how one can say they can't be in a wedding because they might pregnant. I understand being pregnant is not the best feeling in the world and there's a lot of crap that goes along with it. But hey you still gotta go to work, get up in the morning, do everyday things, even if you're feeling crappy!!!!

My friend's sister was in their cousin's wedding, and she was 8 1/2 months pregnant. I mean she could've given birth at their wedding for all she knew at the time!

So in my opinion, the whole I might be pregnant excuse is lame. I feel that if they really truly are a friend, they'd do whatever they could to be in your wedding.

Sorry if I sound harsh. I guess I just think about the situation I'm facing with my friend, and it starts to bother me. I guess mainly because I know her reasoning is more for selfish reasons rather than being in a good nature! I look at it like we were there for her, and followed all her somewhat ridiculous rules for her wedding, but never once said anything to her because we were trying to be supportive and be like this is her wedding, we have to do what she wants. And I could've woken up vomiting or had the flu or been really sick the day of her wedding, but I still would've made sure to get to her wedding, slap a smile on my face and get through the day. So I guess I expect the same in return!!!
AS Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

I dont know why but I will be pissed, I know that may sound mean but thats how I feel. A member of my BP said she will wait for AFTER my wedding to get pregnant.

lwny427 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

I'm right behind you...

My MOH is preggers and is due 12 days before the wedding.

Then one of my bm's called me this week and said she is also preggers, so she'll be like 6months pregnant at the wedding.

Just tough with the dresses and all. And like you said, going to be a WILD bachelorette party.
smjack Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

I would be upset too....but you should just try to focus on yourself. They are going to do what they are going to do and you should try not to let them bother you. It's your day and don't let them take away from it. I think there is much worse things then a couple bridesmaids dropping out of the party cause they are pregnant...JMO.

loislane Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

I mean I would think it's smarter for her to drop out now then later when dresses are ordered and plans are set in stone. I understand not minding about her being pregnant during it and all but pregancies have a way of being unpredictable. No 2 are alike and you don't know if there may be complications etc. I've had friends have to go on complete bedrest, or friends with ankles swelling from bad edema and a long day of pictures etc. might be a lot on them. I understand your dissapointment but maybe they don't want to dissapoint at the last minute. Don't take it personally.

MrsG2007 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

When my BFF asked me to be her bridesmaid in July...she knew that I had just married in April..and was TTC...I told her about this..before I accepted..and she said 'Well I guess you will be going down the aisle with a belly'.......I love her so much....In the long run..it can be hard to have bridesmaids who are pregnant...not all pregnancies are alike...and you have to keep this in mind...Good Luck...

MsBride0808 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

honesly, i told my girls that if they got pregnant, i could not have them in the wedding from the start... as of yet none have and i really hope not.
Summer07Bride Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

Posted by Snowflake08

well, if you want HONEST opinions
i can understand you feeling disappointed
but not angry

people cant put their lives on hold for others' needs or wants

JMHO


I agree
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

Posted by MsBride0808

honesly, i told my girls that if they got pregnant, i could not have them in the wedding from the start... as of yet none have and i really hope not.




omg girls seriously your wedding is ONE day how can you ask people to NOT start a family for ONE day so they look cute in pictures?

everyone is entitled to their own opinion - but if ANYONE said that to ME not only would I drop out of their wedding (pregnant or not ) but they would no longer be considered my friend.

Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by MsBride0808

honesly, i told my girls that if they got pregnant, i could not have them in the wedding from the start... as of yet none have and i really hope not.




omg girls seriously your wedding is ONE day how can you ask people to NOT start a family for ONE day so they look cute in pictures?

everyone is entitled to their own opinion - but if ANYONE said that to ME not only would I drop out of their wedding (pregnant or not ) but they would no longer be considered my friend.



agreed!!!
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

Posted by Snowflake08

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by MsBride0808

honesly, i told my girls that if they got pregnant, i could not have them in the wedding from the start... as of yet none have and i really hope not.




omg girls seriously your wedding is ONE day how can you ask people to NOT start a family for ONE day so they look cute in pictures?

everyone is entitled to their own opinion - but if ANYONE said that to ME not only would I drop out of their wedding (pregnant or not ) but they would no longer be considered my friend.



agreed!!!


anyone who thinks that they have ANY right to ask their friends to not actively TTC should go on over to LIF and read the TTC and Infertility boards. . . imagine waiting a YEAR to TTC bc i dont know. your 'friend' doesn't want to deal with a fat BM or something and then you find out that it takes you 2-3 years AFTER that to actually conceive!!! its not like you snap your fingers and get pregnant . . . (although i wish that for all of you that are planning on trying soon ) it is a journey that takes months sometimes years and involves more than you can ever understand until you go through it or watch someone you love go through it. . .
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

i agree 1000%

it is truly selfish to ask someone to wait until after your day

as someone that is TTC, matilde is correct
it is not something that happens exactly when you want it to!!

people think , 'Oh, im going to get pregnant right away or I'm going to get pregnant on my honeymoon'
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

wow. I'm shocked by some of the selfishness in this thread.

Drv0716 Posted:

Re: 3 of my bridesmaids want to get pregggers!

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by MsBride0808

honesly, i told my girls that if they got pregnant, i could not have them in the wedding from the start... as of yet none have and i really hope not.




omg girls seriously your wedding is ONE day how can you ask people to NOT start a family for ONE day so they look cute in pictures?

everyone is entitled to their own opinion - but if ANYONE said that to ME not only would I drop out of their wedding (pregnant or not ) but they would no longer be considered my friend.



I agree!

My best friend is getting married in '09. Originally, she was planning to get married in April '09 & I was planning to start TTC in March '08, so there was a good chance I would be very pregnant at her wedding. She knew that & she was fine with it. Since then, she's pushed her date back & we've pushed ours up, so it won't likely be a problem, but I cannot imagine a true friend asking someone to hold off their life for one day. I chose my BMs because it was important to me to have them by my side; pregnant or not.

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