4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Original post by ant n tilde

Sep 16, 2007 02:32 PM

LOL
Okay as I have posted MANY MANY times my brother and sister were not in my BP - they are almost 40 and have their own kids and I didn't want to burden them with my wedding

I have posted MANY times about how it doesnt matter that they arent in it bc they know they are important parts of my life and they dont need a title to show that

well, as the day gets closer i realized, that the reason i was so adament about all that is bc i felt guilty not having them in it and i couldnt picture my wedding day without them there! I mean, they were talking about going home btw the church and reception like regular guests!

so i went dress shopping with my sister yesterday adn i realized that i was saving her NO money - i mean she is my sister so she is participating in my shower and bachelorette party. . . she has been dress shopping, shoe shopping and vendor shopping with me - and she has to buy a dress ANYWAY so REALLY it was pointless to not have her in it!

So this morning at 5AM I woke up FH after tossing and turning all night about this and I asked if I could have my brother and sister in the BP and he said of course!

I called my sister this morning and at first she said no bc she knew i had everything all settled but then she said yes and she was really happy! I still have to call my brother though

i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders - i am really excited! I didnt even realize how stressed i have been!!!!

Princess Cut Bride Posted: Sep 16, 2007 05:04 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Matilde you have made a great decision!! Not only do you feel great about it I'm sure your brother and sister do to. That's wonderful that you will have these two very special people included in your bp on your special day!

AS Posted: Sep 16, 2007 05:10 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Its very hard to choose. YOu want to do the right thing for yourself as well as please others. Good for you that you made the right decision. I have a feeling Im going to change my BP many times

lyndanoelle Posted: Sep 16, 2007 05:13 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Thats wonderful

I bet you are sleeping a lot better now!

SugaBeans Posted: Sep 16, 2007 05:13 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

aww im glad you decided to have them both. its family and if it was bothering you that much, it would bother you every time you looked at your pics. if they didnt want to or they felt they couldnt afford it, they could say no.

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 16, 2007 06:25 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Posted by menc

Funny, this sound like me. I was going to have only my one sister be my moh and that was it. I figured my two other sisters wouldn't care b/c they are much older, have kids and live out of state. Plus I know they would be there w/me anyway. I was even going to send them a swatch of the dress so they could match for pics. But, it just didn;t feel right. So, I just decided to have them in as well and they are very excited. They were a little dissapointed that I had not asked them in the first place. I thought I would be saving them money and time.

That is great, you are only going to get married once so, you should have it the way you want.

yeah its so strange like for a year and a half i just assumed that i was doing what was best for them and making their lives easier, when in reality - my sister really wanted to be in it. . . and i'm sure my brother doesnt care either way! lol but he is a boy!

i think i was so stubborn about it bc whenever my mom would fight with me about it i just wanted her to be 'wrong' so i could be 'right' and i didnt want to give in to her!

JACK808 Posted: Sep 16, 2007 06:34 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by menc

Funny, this sound like me. I was going to have only my one sister be my moh and that was it. I figured my two other sisters wouldn't care b/c they are much older, have kids and live out of state. Plus I know they would be there w/me anyway. I was even going to send them a swatch of the dress so they could match for pics. But, it just didn;t feel right. So, I just decided to have them in as well and they are very excited. They were a little dissapointed that I had not asked them in the first place. I thought I would be saving them money and time.

That is great, you are only going to get married once so, you should have it the way you want.

yeah its so strange like for a year and a half i just assumed that i was doing what was best for them and making their lives easier, when in reality - my sister really wanted to be in it. . . and i'm sure my brother doesnt care either way! lol but he is a boy!

i think i was so stubborn about it bc whenever my mom would fight with me about it i just wanted her to be 'wrong' so i could be 'right' and i didnt want to give in to her!

I'm glad you are happy with your decision. Now I am second guessing mine! I have one younger sister, who is just two years younger than I am and she will be my maid of honor. My 4 older sisters are all married with children and over 35. I hadn't considered asking them bc of the same reasons you mentioned. Hmmmmmmm........

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 16, 2007 06:38 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Posted by JACK808

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by menc

Funny, this sound like me. I was going to have only my one sister be my moh and that was it. I figured my two other sisters wouldn't care b/c they are much older, have kids and live out of state. Plus I know they would be there w/me anyway. I was even going to send them a swatch of the dress so they could match for pics. But, it just didn;t feel right. So, I just decided to have them in as well and they are very excited. They were a little dissapointed that I had not asked them in the first place. I thought I would be saving them money and time.

That is great, you are only going to get married once so, you should have it the way you want.

yeah its so strange like for a year and a half i just assumed that i was doing what was best for them and making their lives easier, when in reality - my sister really wanted to be in it. . . and i'm sure my brother doesnt care either way! lol but he is a boy!

i think i was so stubborn about it bc whenever my mom would fight with me about it i just wanted her to be 'wrong' so i could be 'right' and i didnt want to give in to her!

I'm glad you are happy with your decision. Now I am second guessing mine! I have one younger sister, who is just two years younger than I am and she will be my maid of honor. My 4 older sisters are all married with children and over 35. I hadn't considered asking them bc of the same reasons you mentioned. Hmmmmmmm........

It is strange bc I had asked my sister in the past if she wanted to be in it. But she knew I was stressed about the wedding so she told me that she was fine with my decision. Or, I would ask like 'I am sure you have better things to do then be in my wedding' which really isn't asking her.

If you think about it, NOT having them in it doesn't really save them any money. They still will buy you gifts for your shower, come to your bachelorette party, give you a wedding gift AND get a new dress for the wedding.

My suggestion would be to REALLY ask them what they think, don't just assume you know the answer - bc that was the mistake that I made.

Also, just think about the actual day. That is what I started to do as it got closer. I couldn't imagine my day and/or my pictures with my brother and sister there. . . it was just strange!

Good Luck!

debismom Posted: Sep 16, 2007 07:24 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Hon, that is SO SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mary MOB

Crystan08 Posted: Sep 16, 2007 08:01 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

I think you made a great decision!!!!!

irishsweetheart Posted: Sep 16, 2007 08:47 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

so glad you decided to have them! I knew deep down you wanted them in it

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 16, 2007 08:48 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Posted by irishsweetheart

so glad you decided to have them! I knew deep down you wanted them in it

LOL can you believe all this changed over the weekend!!! Now we have lots to talk about tomorrow in class!

irishsweetheart Posted: Sep 16, 2007 08:53 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by irishsweetheart

so glad you decided to have them! I knew deep down you wanted them in it

LOL can you believe all this changed over the weekend!!! Now we have lots to talk about tomorrow in class!

SERIOUSLY! Will you be able to get the dress in time with the same dye lot?

Snowflake08 Posted: Sep 16, 2007 08:56 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

good for you matilde
im sure you feel better now

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 16, 2007 08:58 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Posted by irishsweetheart

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by irishsweetheart

so glad you decided to have them! I knew deep down you wanted them in it

LOL can you believe all this changed over the weekend!!! Now we have lots to talk about tomorrow in class!

SERIOUSLY! Will you be able to get the dress in time with the same dye lot?

nah, the dress will come in the end of november - but it may be a different dye lot. . . but i doubt you would be able to tell. . . the lady at Lillette's said they can't GUARANTEE anything but usually they are good matches

SoontobeMrsH Posted: Sep 16, 2007 09:00 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Aww Tilde I'm glad your having your sister in your wedding. I would love to have my sousi Jenny as a BM, but she's the MOH for her sister in Jan. & she's getting maried in Aug. I would hate to give her the added burden of another wedding. I'm glad things worked out for you.

jennielovesbryan Posted: Sep 16, 2007 09:00 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

im glad everything worked out!!!

kimNanthony Posted: Sep 16, 2007 10:25 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

Yay great decision. You will be so happy when they are right next to you on your special day

jgl Posted: Sep 16, 2007 10:26 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

good for you tilde!!!! sounds like you made a great decision, age doesnt matter and if they are close to you and that makes you happy then its right!!!

JavyL008 Posted: Sep 16, 2007 10:47 PM

Re: 4 months to go - changing my BP! sorry so long

It's nice to be able to include everyone...my brother and sister-in-law live in France and are coming from there so the only involvement I'm really getting from them is my niece as the flower girl...I'll have to find someone to convert her measurements to our system