9/11 and panic attacks..

I am having a really hard time with this. I was at the trade center on 9/11 and For the days following I trudged through ground zero to get back to work, seeing the makeshift morge that that had set up for body and body parts.. And I watched the families come in by boat every day to place flowers and whatnot on ground zero and to pay their respects to their loved ones. I passed by thousands of missing persons signs and little memorials for those who perished in the WTC. I worked with dogs in and out of my office (bomb sniffing dogs) and police and firemen and thousands of others passing by me everyday... I didnt seem to have any feelings about the situation then. kind of just picked myself up went to work and that was that.. During fire alarms I wouldnt even leave my office because I was certain that it was a false alarm... (i cant even believe it when I think back now) I feel like for the year following I was almost completely unaffected by what I had seen. I know that I saw the first and second planes fly into the building I saw the people jumping out the windows ( how terrible a decision to jump out 110 stories or burn to death) But last year about a few weeks before 9/11 I started to have severe panic attacks.. I now cant really remember what I saw that day and what was on television.. I think my mind has blocked it out. I am now in full panic attack mode. I dont know how to deal with the week and I most certainly dont know how to deal with the day itself. I am not afraid of more attacks, thats not what I feel, I just feel very nervous and sad and paniced..

Ok.. I just needed to get that out..thanks for listening.