A Check and A Headache... help!

FH and I went to get my ring cleaned yesterday and we ended up ordering our wedding bands! I'm very excited for this check and loved seeing FH wearing a ring. He never wears any jewelry so it was funny to get a preview of how he'll look once he's my husband :)

Annnnnd now for my mini-drama... BM issues I have a big bridal party (8 ladies) so i sort of knew the day would come that i'd have some discontent. I was catching up with one BM yesterday who told me that 6 out of 8 of my girls were all on board for the gift they were planning to give me for my shower but 2 of the ladies haven't answered any of the emails they've been throwing around. While normally i would just tell her that maybe those 2 were busy with one thing or the other but what makes it bad is one of the absentee BMs is my MOH. I'm not sure why she wouldnt be responding to the group's emails since she's the one who should sort of be leading them. I don't want to step in because I fear making things awkward with them but my girls feel like they're going above my MOH cause they just ordered it without her input. Should I talk to my MOH and see what's the problem? How do i even ask her? 'Hey some of the BMs feel you're not answering their emails.. what's the deal?'

ugh. i feel really bad because i know how it feels to be involved in a 'difficult' wedding and i was really hoping i wasn't going to be one of those kinds of weddings. I went from zen bride to stressed out after hearing all this. Wahhhhhhhh!

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

That is stressful, sorry to hear I would ask the BM who told you if she wants you to contact your MOH and find out (very nicely) what's going on.

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

Have the bridesmaid who sent the email call her and say hey did you get my emails I haven't heard from you. there is a chance it could have gone in a spam folder. Stay out of it for now so you don't feel weird and try not to stress about it. If the MOH is non responsive still then you should call her, chances are she's upset that the bridesmaid took the lead without asking. Girls we're such pain is the butts sometimes.

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

I honestly wouldn't get involved. While its definitely discouraging any BM drama really should be worked out and kept between your girls. I've been in bridal parties where this type of thing has unfortunately happened but we've always kept the bride out of it. Its not fair to you. You have so much planning to do. I would kindly offer further contact information for your MOH.

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

Omg I'm in the same boat!! I also have 8 girls and my sister is getting so pissed because 3 of them like never respond to emails... It's annoying because they all have iPhones and can easily check their mail!!!! Idk why it's so difficult to answer a damn email honestly... My two FSILS are part of the group who don't answer so I just told my sister to email my FMIL if they don't respond to something important- my FMIL said that she would handle it from there so that was helpful... My friend is the other one so i put my other friend in charge of making sure she responds from now on..

I just try not to get involved though because I don't need the added stress-
I'll let my mom and sister handle it

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

Don't get involved, honestly. Otherwise it can look like you're siding with the other BMs and you don't need that kind of drama right now! I would give the girl who came to you your MOH's number and she can call her and ask if she's been getting the emails. Have you had any problems getting in touch with her lately?

It is NOT easy being in a wedding party, but she should at least be acknowledging even ONE email.

Re: A Check and A Headache... help!

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Posted by emmac
Girls we're such pain is the butts sometimes.

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preach girl, so freakin' true!!

I honestly don't know what i would do without these message boards and you ladies to talk me off the ledge!

I think im going to take all of your advice and stay out of it. As much as i hate thinking there's any kind of discord between them but really i just dont want to know about it. It definitely disappoints me that my MOH might be dropping the ball. Unfortunately, she's really not a leader but she's my cousin and the closest to a sister to me. i feel horrible even thinking this (let alone typing it) but I'm kind of wishing i just picked one my best friend as my MOH instead of keeping it in the family. But alas, what can i do. I told my mom what happened so at least it's on her radar.

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

Sorry your going through that it always sucks to find out there is something going on within bridal parties. At least your mom knows about it so you can be kept out of it and your mom can step in if need be.

Re: A Check and A Headache... help!

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Posted by Lori0413

Don't get involved, honestly. Otherwise it can look like you're siding with the other BMs and you don't need that kind of drama right now! I would give the girl who came to you your MOH's number and she can call her and ask if she's been getting the emails. Have you had any problems getting in touch with her lately?

It is NOT easy being in a wedding party, but she should at least be acknowledging even ONE email.

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This. Otherwise it will be extra stress you don't need right now

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

I think telling your mom was a great idea. I think you may be able to get your point across using her, especially since your MOH is family. I've been the BM in this situation and it sucks to have to check the MOH - but someone needs to tell her to get her head in the game! I didn't because I was the relatively new friend in the bridal party, and I didn't want to step on any toes, but guess what, since I never made that step, the bride had a crappy Bachelorette party, I'm talking about she wound up having to put in money for the limo because 6/8 bridesmaids including Matron of Honor didn't show after saying they would. This needs to be nipped in the bud. You don't want the tension spilling into other wedding events/details. IMHO

A Check and A Headache... help! - Long Island Weddings

I HATE when one bridesmaid feels as though the bride needs to know EVERYTHING that is going on. I feel that some things are to be dealt with 'In House' and whatever the solution is the main goal is to make the bride happy. I don't think she should have told you anything besides everything is going well or what do you need help with. Bringing you drama is NOT what you need right now. Stay clear it will work out.

Re: A Check and A Headache... help!

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Posted by YES he asked me

I HATE when one bridesmaid feels as though the bride needs to know EVERYTHING that is going on. I feel that some things are to be dealt with 'In House' and whatever the solution is the main goal is to make the bride happy. I don't think she should have told you anything besides everything is going well or what do you need help with. Bringing you drama is NOT what you need right now. Stay clear it will work oupt.

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I totally agree. While I appreciated being made aware if the situation, I really just wish I was kept in the dark. It just makes things so awkward. I appreciate all you advice. I am definitely going to stay out of it and hopefully try to not worry about how things are coming together.