A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

AJsMommy122 Posted: Apr 27, 2004 07:51 PM

A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

I dont know if my fmil is paying for our RD or not.. fh says if he tells her shes supposed to take care of it she wont have a problem doing so... my question is did you let your fmil pick and book the resturant or did she just give you the money and you did it all???

Personally I would much prefer that she give me the money and I take care of everything.. and she dosent want to run around making plans for it so im sure that will be fine with her.. just wondering..

thiadora Posted: Apr 27, 2004 07:58 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

My FMIL took care of it. She started working on it as soon as the date was set. She has 4 children and this is her 3rd wedding, so she knew that she groom's family typically hosts it.

Regarding choosing the location- FH and I did go around with her. And I helped her scout out locations. We also went to eat at a couple of them.

May2704bride Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:00 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

My FMIL is paying for the rehearsal dinner

She told us to pick the restaurant and make all the arrangements and she'll pay. We're also only having 20 people come to the dinner so it shouldn't be expensive

Boop2704 Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:00 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

I wish they had just given me the money and I could have done it all. I am a control freak and I wasn't able to do anything for the RD except make the favors and invites. FFIL and DH insisted on finding a place and booking and paying. I mean it was a great place, but I was really pissed I had no say in the menu or anything, but I am very thankful he payed for it. So in answer to your question, they took care of everything, I wasn't allowed, they picked it and booked it. If you want to do it tell FH that his mom has to pay for it but your in charge!!

julesn5 Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:39 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

We kind of picked the RD restaurant together...we picked a day and the four of us got together and drove to a list of ten restaurants we had put together using recommendations from friends, etc.
Although we all went to each restaurant and my FMIL asked for my opinion, in the end it was mainly her choice of restaurant based on cost. So, maybe try to find a place and choose a menu together if possible?!
Good luck with the planning, just don't let the RD preparations stress you out more than the wedding!!

AJsMommy122 Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:41 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

thanks everyone!! It wont be alot of people so the cost wont be bad and I would never pick a really expensive place I am just a control freak and have to be in charge of stuff like this!!

also are you inviting your parents to the RD? I dont know if its supposed to be alot of people are just the bridal party

OSCARtheGROOM Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:45 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

My father and his wife are paying for it. I would think they would use a place we recommend. Its usually future inlaws and bridal party.

thiadora Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:46 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

I thought that parents and sibling were supposed to be invited. But that could just be our family. (In my case, if you could us and our immediate families we're 17 people)

Inviting the OOT hotels guests is relatively new and in my opinion, at the discresion of the host/ess.

jill13bean Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:46 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

the RD is FIL's responsibility... i don't think people would give their money to someone....especially after hearing some stories on here
if you get along i dont see why you cant help

but it is the FIL's responsibility.. i believe

AJsMommy122 Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:52 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

Posted by jill13bean

the RD is FIL's responsibility... i don't think people would give their money to someone.... they do it or if you get along i dont see why you cant help

but it is the FIL's responsibility.. i believe

hahaha you dont know my fmil... when we moved into our apt. last summer she wanted to buy us a nice new bedroom set as part of an early wedding gift... she gave me her credit card and told me to go pick something out!! haha she didnt care if her own son didnt go either I have better taste anyway

babybride Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:57 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

Posted by May2704bride

My FMIL is paying for the rehearsal dinner

She told us to pick the restaurant and make all the arrangements and she'll pay. We're also only having 20 people come to the dinner so it shouldn't be expensive

Same here. FI's parents let us pick everything. We shopped around and kept them in the loop about the options.

suven Posted: Apr 27, 2004 08:58 PM

.

jill13bean Posted: Apr 27, 2004 09:00 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

Posted by Soon2bMsZ

Posted by jill13bean

the RD is FIL's responsibility... i don't think people would give their money to someone.... they do it or if you get along i dont see why you cant help

but it is the FIL's responsibility.. i believe

hahaha you dont know my fmil... when we moved into our apt. last summer she wanted to buy us a nice new bedroom set as part of an early wedding gift... she gave me her credit card and told me to go pick something out!! haha she didnt care if her own son didnt go either I have better taste anyway

ahahahh thats awsome... ok i admit i may be wrong! you have great in laws

AJsMommy122 Posted: Apr 27, 2004 09:13 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

at times yes and at times no

nov2004bride Posted: Apr 27, 2004 11:25 PM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

My FMIL knew that the groom's family should pay for it and she did. She asked my opinion before booking and she showed me the menu. I didn't care where we have it. She has great taste so I trust her opinion

butterfly20 Posted: Apr 28, 2004 12:05 AM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

my fmil is taking care of it...

its her part of the day that she gets to plan herself so i know she'll enjoy it, and she knows ill help her if theres anything she needs

Monkeybride Posted: Apr 28, 2004 01:29 AM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

FMIL is taking care of it but she consulted me. I told her to let's just do it at a Chinese Buffet that is near them. I really don't want her to have to spend a lot of money because she is doing more for us than my own family.

skew Posted: Apr 28, 2004 07:45 AM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

this was actually one thing that i did not mind passing the responsibility on to someone else. we were however involved in chosing the location and the menu. they wanted us involved in some decisions, but also they wanted to be in charge of planning the RD themselves. often the FI's family is left out of many if not all the wedding decisions and it is nice and means a lot to them to include them in some ways (even if it is only the RD). FI's parents are really excited about doing this.

tracyg Posted: Apr 28, 2004 08:23 AM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

They were supposed to call around to places i had given them. I REALLY wanted it at TR's. But then we found out they hadn't done a darn thing 3 months from the wedding. I was so annoyed. I have enough to do!!!
So we called around like maniacs to find a place. we finally did... not all that crazy about it, but we have it all to ourselves.
then we (should i say THEY) picked the menu.

so they're pretty much just paying for it while we're doing all the work.

nylisa Posted: Apr 28, 2004 11:23 AM

Re: A ? for those whos fmil's are paying for the RD

My FILs are paying for the RD. Since the church is in Brooklyn and they live in LI, they do not know any of the restaurants in Brooklyn. So I picked the place, the menu, the cake filling, made the RD invites, had me as the RSVP person and going to order balloons for the tables.