A little dilema..LONG

FH and I have totally lost touch with our Best Man. Right after we got engaged he got involved in a new relationship, and hasnt really contacted us since. We tried to arrange get togethers often, and at one point gave up and said 'we're tired of doing all the work.'

We do still communicate online and on the phone once in a blue moon and have run into him and other mutual friends gatherings, so there is no anger between us (we'll not that he knows of anyway )

Anyway Fh and I decided maybe hes not the best choice, and we jumped the gun on asking him...If he cant handle upholding a friendship then how the hell is he going to handle being the Bestman...The thing is everyone keeps saying 'Im sure he knows that he prob is going to be the best man anymore...you guys dont even talk' but the thing is the few times we run into him he talks about how hes the best man...so he has no clue.

We have spoken about the distance with him before...nothing has happened..no change! He still makes no effort.

Now the e-party is coming... and I really wanna buy my bridal party these cute pins that say bridesmaid...Maid of honor, grooms man and so on... But by all means im not givin him a best man pin... knowing we are giving him the boot.

I thought it might be best to say..Listen I still want you as a grooms man, and we arent even replacing a best man yet...but since we are no longer close it would be best for you to take a step down...If our friendship rekindles itself then everything will be the same if it dosent then we'll find someone else..or no one at all...

All i know is FH should be the one to do it...and he's not...and the e-party is soon!~! Help!

I'm sorry your in this situation. I'm currently having a problem with one of my bridesmaid and it is really hard to deal with these things. You dont' wnat to hurt thier feelings, but at the same time you don't think you want them involved with your wedding day.

I think fh should talk to him if he was closer. If you both had a close relationship with him, than maybe you both should sit down with him. I can understand you don't feel as close to him and wanting a new bm. I think you both need to talk to him and be totally honest and tell him you just dont' feel as close anymore and you feel as if he isn't putting any effort into your friendship.

Good luck

See the thing is FH was the one who decided he no longer wants him to be the Best man... however is being a big old chicken about telling him...and everytime we talk about he's like we'll go together but you can tell him...

As you can see my Fh is def. not interested in confrontation..I just have a feeling he'll end up being the Bm because ry is a big chicken!

I had the same problem. My bestfriend and I have been planning my wedding even before I met FH so she always knew that she would probably be the maid of honor, plus she's god mother to all my kids. Here's the thing I always wanted to ask my sister but didnt because I didnt want to hurt my friends feelings. Well last year the phone calls started becoming less often and the visits non existant. Then I didnt hear from her at all and she even stopped calling the kids and sending them cards on holidays. I tried getting a hold of her and she wouldnt even take my calls or answer my emails. When I sent her a gift for xmas from the kids I put in the card I dropped it off at your job since our friendship seems to be non existant lately, figuring she'd get the hint. Well not Then I deceided oh well I wanted my sister anyway now I can ask her and I did. Then I send an email to my friend telling her how I feel and she sends me a nasty email back. Well a few more months go by and dont you know she calls me yesterday! Well I acted as though things never happened but let her know that since I didnt think I'd ever hear from her again that I asked my sister to be my MOH and left it at that. I'll probably hear from her in a few more months when it's convienent for her again but Im glad I made th decision I did to ask my sister.

---

Posted by Princessmaris

See the thing is FH was the one who decided he no longer wants him to be the Best man... however is being a big old chicken about telling him...and everytime we talk about he's like we'll go together but you can tell him...

As you can see my Fh is def. not interested in confrontation..I just have a feeling he'll end up being the Bm because ry is a big chicken!

---

Then this is the way it will be - you can't do this, it's up to him. If he won't do it, then he is stuck. Let him stress about this, it's his best man, not yours!

---

Posted by Princessmaris

See the thing is FH was the one who decided he no longer wants him to be the Best man... however is being a big old chicken about telling him...and everytime we talk about he's like we'll go together but you can tell him...

As you can see my Fh is def. not interested in confrontation..I just have a feeling he'll end up being the Bm because ry is a big chicken!

---

C'mon Marissa!!! Drag Ryan's arse down there and get it done! I know he can say what's on his mind... it's just getting him to that point. no one wants a fight... ever!! but it will be on both of your minds until you get this done and move on with the wedding plans. Just have him meet you some place kinda private and just lay it out... you'll feel much better.

---

Posted by Princessmaris

See the thing is FH was the one who decided he no longer wants him to be the Best man... however is being a big old chicken about telling him...and everytime we talk about he's like we'll go together but you can tell him...

As you can see my Fh is def. not interested in confrontation..I just have a feeling he'll end up being the Bm because ry is a big chicken!

---

It's definitely gotta come from him. I really don't think you should be the one to say something. What is he thinks it was your idea? Ryan should stand up for himself and what he feels. HTH.

Thanks girls... I know in the end he'll end up doing it, but as of right now... he still hasnt told him..

The other day I was on the phone with Shawn (the BM) and he was talking about how he wants to make a speech at our e-party, and I just looked at Ry and said...You better tell him before the party, or at least make a decsion if you wanna keep him...

So i guess we will see!

I know how you feel!

Just last night I was complaining to my FH that 1 of my sister's (matron of honor) doesn't even reply to me emails let alone phone calls. Even though she lives across the country, when she got married I did EVERYTHING for her, even coordinated her bridal shower from 3,000 miles away.

And on the flip side, I have a girlfriend who is not in the BP (I am only having 2 MOH's) and has been an unbelievably helpful.

I'm so pissed off at my sis. But what am I supposed to do, ask her to step down and replace her with my girlfriend? FH says no way.