A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

Original post by LauraPete

Jun 30, 2004 01:03 PM

Okay, by now you are probably all asking - what the heck is this girl doing with her wedding 3 WEEKS AWAY?' Excellent question. Don't really have a logical answer unless you accept 'certifiably nuts'. I definitely fell off my rocker a few months ago. Anyway, I am so mortified at my inability to make a decision that I wish I could post this anonymously I but my mug is all over these pictures so that would be difficult!!!

To get serious for a moment, I am going to open up a window into my personal life. Bare with me and I will try to explain from where the real issue stems. I used to be really sick. Sick to the point that I lost all ability to have a healthy self-image. I do not see what others see. Call it body dismorphia or wanting to look like kate moss - whatever. But it has made this process UNBAREABLE to me to the point that I cry myself to sleep at night over a DRESS!!! I cannot believe what this fearing what i will look like for 5 hours of my life has reduced me to. That is why I take so many picture b/c what i see in the mirror is not what is reflected in the camera. I can't stand looking at myself anymore but I can't ignore that I will be on display in 26 days for all to see and comment about and all I can think of is that I would rather wear a toga. I know this sounds horrible and negative and I am bride! I am supposed to be happy! Don't get me wrong, I am elated to no end that I found my soul mate and we will spend eternity together and I love him to death. I just never realized how self-consious I would feel during this entire process. It's not jitters or nerves. It's unfortunately just me.

So, I made light of it in my last post with jokes and calling myself a 'psychobride' (which I am by the way....) but this is where I am pleading for your help. I am sure there are a few out there sort of like me.....

I have added some pics to the ever-increasing 'laurapete dress' album. Just to refresh, the first few pics is the Langer dress, then there is an Amsale, then skip toward the end to see the AnneBarge, and a Vera in that order. There is a marisa with a detachable train somewhere in the middle.

Please take a look and don't hold back about your opinions. Don't feel bad telling me the truth. I need to hear it. Some pics were taken by me in the mirror so they are not as good, some have the veil and flowers, some I am made-up etc...

Here is the link:

LauraPete's Dress Pics Revised

thiadora Posted: Jun 30, 2004 09:47 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

I remember when you first posted this dress. I absolutely love picture. I thought that you looked amazing in it.

My second choice would be the Anne Barge (picture # 2 below) I love the silhouette of the dress and the way it dips in the back.

1388638_2.jpg

thiadora Posted: Jun 30, 2004 09:49 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

For some reason this didn't post. This is the first picture I ment to post.

ETA: For some reason, it won't post. It's the picutre of you looking down that was taken from the front.

1017Bride Posted: Jun 30, 2004 10:20 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

My favorite is the Amsale that is the mermaid cut. You happen to look great in all the dresses and I am sure whatever you pick you will look wonderful.

Maribelle7777 Posted: Jun 30, 2004 10:35 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

Laura, I love the first dress on you the most. DH said you have a hot body (he made me write that as he's standing here waiting for me to come to bed!)

As someone that recently gained alot of weight and has had to deal with gaining weight BEFORE the wedding instead of being able to take it off, I know all too much about self image and how others are going to see me. I can honestly say I don't like most of my wedding proofs but everyone tells me I;m nuts. Whatever. So I understand where you are coming from. It sounds like you are aware of your body image problem and probably doing something about it, whatever it is and that's a good thing You do look great though, have faith in us LIW posters in telling you that - and have faith that your FH thinks you are absolutely beautiful and he can't wait to marry you!

I personally like the 1st dress the most becasue I like how it 'folds' over at the top. I think it gives the most flattering look. I like how it hugs your curves (that is a good thing) - the dress has shape and it just says 'stunning' to me when I saw you in it.

Good luck with whatever you choose!!

Mary

Emma2-22 Posted: Jul 01, 2004 09:22 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

You look beautiful in all of them so believe me you have nothing to worry about on your day.

In the dress area, personally I like the Anne Barge the best.

Know that you are beautiful and everything will be okay.

marymoon Posted: Jul 01, 2004 09:26 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

#1 you're gorgeous!

PrincessRose Posted: Jul 01, 2004 09:36 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

Laura, you are a beautiful beautiful woman. My heart truly goes out to you for not being able to see it.

I'm with the other girls when I say #1.

And look for a way to bustle it, dearie, because there MUST be some way. I refuse to believe that it can't be done. Why don't you contact the designer?

ckgmwedding Posted: Jul 01, 2004 09:44 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

I really think you look incredible in the first one and the melissa sweet lace dresses. I didn't think the others added enough to your incredible figure. It must be so hard not to see yourself as others do but I have the same problem, just not as extreme. Realize that the people who are staring at you are just taken with your beauty since you are truly a beautiful girl. Body image is so complicated and you were so open in your post. Obviously you have come a long way in conquering some of your fears about you body.

Sorry to sound like a therapist- occupational hazard!

You are beautiful but what I think really doesn't matter!

daisybride Posted: Jul 01, 2004 09:47 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

Posted by Summer05

Posted by soon2bmrs2004

Posted by AtticaQT

I think you look great in the first dress - i love it!!! The back of it sold me on it - You look gorgeous in it!

I aggree!!!!!!!

Me too!!!

I wish you the best of luck. Youa re absolutely beautiful but I personally know what is like to not see what everyone else sees. As far as the dresses go I would say go for the first one. You look radiant, sexy, and confident, That is an amazing dress and you look amazing in it. Once again Best of luck.

[email protected] Posted: Jul 01, 2004 10:24 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

#1, it was a tough decision beacsue you look beautiful in all of them!!!

Anniegrl Posted: Jul 01, 2004 10:25 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

I loved the first one the best, but if you can't fix the bustle problem, then I'd go with the Anne Barge.

It's beautiful! And it looks fantastic on you. I love the curves, the veil is phenomenal, and your hair with the flower in it is the perfect touch.
I'm sorry to hear that you have such issues with body image; I really think you should seek professional help or join a support group. I hate the way that sounds, but I really do think it might help you to move forward.

Good luck, and believe what all we LIW girls are telling you; repeat it over and over in your head - you WILL be a beautiful bride!!!!!!!!

sammi102 Posted: Jul 01, 2004 10:43 AM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

You are absolutely beautiful!!! Can't say that enough. I really hope you can come to realize that and start feeling better about yourself.

that first dress is just amazing and you look like a model, 100% serious!! I think that is your dress is amazing on you and you are just beautiful!

I hope I can look that beautiful on my special day!

LauraPete Posted: Jul 13, 2004 02:03 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

I can't even begin to tell you girls how comforting is to hear your thoughts, opinions, and most of all the moral support. It helps. I have been keeping quiet to try to gather my thoughts etc. in hopes that the next time I wrote I would be congratulating myself on a decision and be rejoicing for all the excitement to come. Well, I have to tell you a story instead.....

Anyone remember the Friends episodew where Racheal is pregrant and Pheobe tells her she is not to test her true feelings? Well, I went to my first fitting on 'THE' dress (no suspense... it was the Langner that I had purchased originally) all ready to accept and be merry and happy. Low and behold the seamstress pricks her finger and gets bright red BLOOD on the back of my dress about the size of a dime. I don't know if these is telling or not by my initial reaction was RELIEF!!! Do you believe that? Then I was sad when I realized that I wasn't mad. So, all the doubts started all over again. Anyway, they got the blood out to the point where you can't see it. But of course I went back to look at the Anne Barge and it is now gone. I started calling all over the place to find a sample in decent condition that someone will sell me. But before I drive myself nuts, I have to ask another question....

Is it just me or do I look like I actually have a figure in the Anne Barge? I don't want to look like a stick or a mummy with a band wrapped around my chest just because the back is beautiful. Don't even know if any of this is possible at this point but...... needed to vent away again.

SeptWed Posted: Jul 13, 2004 02:19 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

First off, you are absolutely gorgeous and being someone who had an body image problem for many years I understand where you are coming from. It took me a year of therapy and 4 more years to get over it.

I'm not here to give you advice on which dress looks best on you because honestly they are all amazing. I think you need to look at the reality of the situation and realize that this dress will be on your body a total of 7-8 hours and yes you will have pictures that will last a lifetime of you in it. But TRUST ME even looking at these samples you are wearing the pictures look great.

In the end it is who you are marrying and your future together, not a dress that will be on your body for one day.

Enjoy this time right before your wedding, being stressed out over a dress is really not worth it.

Anniegrl Posted: Jul 13, 2004 02:25 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

I think because of the detail in the waistband, it draws attention to your waist and gives some definition there. It also breaks up the top from the bottom, so it gives you some curves. I love this dress!

Jordan Posted: Jul 13, 2004 02:27 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

I think all the dresses you chose are beautiful...and they all look great on you...but I think the Anne Barge fits you incredibly well.

As a thin woman myself - who had body image issues - I totally understand where you're coming from with not wanting to look like a stick or a mummy. I think the Anne Barge accentuates your figure the best...and you look the most comfortable in that dress - IMO.

palebride Posted: Jul 13, 2004 02:40 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

If I looked that good in the Anne Barge dress, I would have worn it for my wedding. It is an icredibly well made gown, and was actually comfortable on me, from what I can remember.
Good luck with your decision!

JimmysBride Posted: Jul 13, 2004 02:41 PM

Re: A Personal Post and Plea for your Help (with link to pics)

Posted by LauraPete

I can't even begin to tell you girls how comforting is to hear your thoughts, opinions, and most of all the moral support. It helps. I have been keeping quiet to try to gather my thoughts etc. in hopes that the next time I wrote I would be congratulating myself on a decision and be rejoicing for all the excitement to come. Well, I have to tell you a story instead.....

Anyone remember the Friends episodew where Racheal is pregrant and Pheobe tells her she is not to test her true feelings? Well, I went to my first fitting on 'THE' dress (no suspense... it was the Langner that I had purchased originally) all ready to accept and be merry and happy. Low and behold the seamstress pricks her finger and gets bright red BLOOD on the back of my dress about the size of a dime. I don't know if these is telling or not by my initial reaction was RELIEF!!! Do you believe that? Then I was sad when I realized that I wasn't mad. So, all the doubts started all over again. Anyway, they got the blood out to the point where you can't see it. But of course I went back to look at the Anne Barge and it is now gone. I started calling all over the place to find a sample in decent condition that someone will sell me. But before I drive myself nuts, I have to ask another question....

Is it just me or do I look like I actually have a figure in the Anne Barge? I don't want to look like a stick or a mummy with a band wrapped around my chest just because the back is beautiful. Don't even know if any of this is possible at this point but...... needed to vent away again.

First - No, not if you are going to continue to drive yourself nuts. Then, YES you look like you have a figure in the Anne Barge but you also look like you have a beautiful figure in the Langer! I agree with what EvenEdan said -- even without the wow of the back the front is elegant and sophisticated -- and it's just lovely on you!

Good luck hon -- it's funny you posted about this today, I was going to post looking for you to see if you had made a decision yet!