Advice

Ok, being that I am the old married fart on the boards (but still young and hip)..

I would like to open the forum up to questions. About anything...and I mean anything that's on your mind about weddings, marriage...even sex... Mind you, they are just my opnions, but I was one of the first of my friends to get hitched and have seen a lot of weddings and have seen the drama.

You don't have to respond here, you can FM..but I would like to offer my wisdom (as warped as it may be) to you guys..

my fellow 07 brides!

I'm in a very generous good mood...

The in-laws are leaving tomorrow...

Thanks so much Susan!

1) How do you handle members of your bridal party that doesnt even have a man but constantly say 'when I get married I am going to have this and that'?

2)How often do people have sex on the big day?

3)If you already live with FH for years does anything change after marriage?

---

Posted by Blu-ize

Ok, being that I am the old married fart on the boards (but still young and hip)..

I would like to open the forum up to questions. About anything...and I mean anything that's on your mind about weddings, marriage...even sex... Mind you, they are just my opnions, but I was one of the first of my friends to get hitched and have seen a lot of weddings and have seen the drama.

You don't have to respond here, you can FM..but I would like to offer my wisdom (as warped as it may be) to you guys..

my fellow 07 brides!

I'm in a very generous good mood...

The in-laws are leaving tomorrow...

---

you're so awesome!

1) How do you handle members of your bridal party that doesnt even have a man but constantly say 'when I get married I am going to have this and that'?

Answer: First after choking the sh!t out of them, I would say, that sounds great-I can't wait to go to your wedding if it happens.

2)How often do people have sex on the big day?

Answer: We didn't-we were exhausted. However, we did make up for it on our honeymoon. I think people are full of it when they say that they did it that night for the most part. You would have to be the freakin energizer bunny.

3)If you already live with FH for years does anything change after marriage?

Answer: We lived together for 2 years prior. Believe it or not the first year was tough after we got married. I was not truly a happy person. I think I expected some great change and it just didn't happen.

We grew even more in love and together after that first year. I know many couples have a rough first year even if they lived together. Hold on tight, don't give up-work it out...you've got to.

as for #2... Unfortunately my FH is the energizer bunny... and I have a feeling we will be doing naughty no matter how tired I am.

---

Posted by prinses777

as for #2... Unfortunately my FH is the energizer bunny... and I have a feeling we will be doing naughty no matter how tired I am.

---

Well good for him...DH passed out before I had the envelopes open

---

Posted by Blu-ize

1) How do you handle members of your bridal party that doesnt even have a man but constantly say 'when I get married I am going to have this and that'?

Answer: First after choking the sh!t out of them, I would say, that sounds great-I can't wait to go to your wedding if it happens.

2)How often do people have sex on the big day?

Answer: We didn't-we were exhausted. However, we did make up for it on our honeymoon. I think people are full of it when they say that they did it that night for the most part. You would have to be the freakin energizer bunny.

3)If you already live with FH for years does anything change after marriage?

Answer: We lived together for 2 years prior. Believe it or not the first year was tough after we got married. I was not truly a happy person. I think I expected some great change and it just didn't happen.

We grew even more in love and together after that first year. I know many couples have a rough first year even if they lived together. Hold on tight, don't give up-work it out...you've got to.

---

Thanks so much for the honest answers!

One more for you,

4), I have told about 10 girls I want them in my wedding. Now I really do not want the whole mob. How can I let them down without hurting their feelings?

ok i've got a question..or maybe a few..depends on how inspired I get while writing this

1. How do you handle parents who aren't interested in your wedding?

2. For someone, like myself, who can't throw things like rose petals after the ceremony..do you find ribbon wands to be a nifty alternative?

3. How does one gracefully handle when someone says something along the lines of: 'So, when am I getting my invitation?' or 'You're inviting me right?'

---

Posted by FUTUREBRIDETOKEITH

1. How do you remind yourself how you felt when the first time you met your FH after nine years?

---

I'll answer the easy one first:

I remember the first time we kissed...how I felt was undescribable...I got chills and I still do when I think of it.

DH went to smell my perfume on my neck and he brushed his nose on my neck..he said-I like that perfume..I said..well you can do that again if you want...I will never ever forget how that felt...

the rest is history...

oh and it's going to be 8 years in Feb...

we know each other 16 years in Feb!

We also have very good role models..my parents are married 53 years and his 59 years.

---

Posted by enjft

---

Posted by Blu-ize

1) How do you handle members of your bridal party that doesnt even have a man but constantly say 'when I get married I am going to have this and that'?

Answer: First after choking the sh!t out of them, I would say, that sounds great-I can't wait to go to your wedding if it happens.

2)How often do people have sex on the big day?

Answer: We didn't-we were exhausted. However, we did make up for it on our honeymoon. I think people are full of it when they say that they did it that night for the most part. You would have to be the freakin energizer bunny.

3)If you already live with FH for years does anything change after marriage?

Answer: We lived together for 2 years prior. Believe it or not the first year was tough after we got married. I was not truly a happy person. I think I expected some great change and it just didn't happen.

We grew even more in love and together after that first year. I know many couples have a rough first year even if they lived together. Hold on tight, don't give up-work it out...you've got to.

---

Thanks so much for the honest answers!

One more for you,

4), I have told about 10 girls I want them in my wedding. Now I really do not want the whole mob. How can I let them down without hurting their feelings?

---

You jumped the gun did ya? Well it's time for damage control.

How many do you want in the bridal party? Also why not 10 girls? I know why I wouldn't want 10 girls but I don't know your reasons.

About the sex...... how is it after marriage, i hear its not that same...shed some light is this true?

and the wedding might is it tru marital bliss or is the bride and groom tired from the hectic day and all of the planning for the past?

---

Posted by kam0813

ok i've got a question..or maybe a few..depends on how inspired I get while writing this

1. How do you handle parents who aren't interested in your wedding?

My girlfrind just experienced this when she got married recently. Unfortunatley, nobody is going to be 'into' your wedding as much as you are. If you can keep that in mind you will be better off. It could be that they have no experience in dealing with this stuff..it could be that they don't want to get in the way of your plans..or simply-they don't know their place in everything. Lastly, if they simply don't give a crap, then you have to let it be..they love you..you have to remind yourself of that.

2. For someone, like myself, who can't throw things like rose petals after the ceremony..do you find ribbon wands to be a nifty alternative?

I actually (ok, opinion coming here) hate when stuff is thrown at me. I think ribbon wands are a good alternative, but totally unecessary. Do you have to have anything here?

3. How does one gracefully handle when someone says something along the lines of: 'So, when am I getting my invitation?' or 'You're inviting me right?'

---

More damage control. Stop telling the whole freaking world you are engaged..I know it's hard. Try-really-you will save yourself a ton of aggravation later. You could start by saying-'I would love to invite everyone that I know, but it's not possible. When we get our guest list together I will have a better sense of how many people I can invite. Most people are saying this because they are excited for you. I betcha most people will understand. You can't please everyone.

---

Posted by Blu-ize

---

Posted by enjft

---

Posted by Blu-ize

1) How do you handle members of your bridal party that doesnt even have a man but constantly say 'when I get married I am going to have this and that'?

Answer: First after choking the sh!t out of them, I would say, that sounds great-I can't wait to go to your wedding if it happens.

2)How often do people have sex on the big day?

Answer: We didn't-we were exhausted. However, we did make up for it on our honeymoon. I think people are full of it when they say that they did it that night for the most part. You would have to be the freakin energizer bunny.

3)If you already live with FH for years does anything change after marriage?

Answer: We lived together for 2 years prior. Believe it or not the first year was tough after we got married. I was not truly a happy person. I think I expected some great change and it just didn't happen.

We grew even more in love and together after that first year. I know many couples have a rough first year even if they lived together. Hold on tight, don't give up-work it out...you've got to.

---

Thanks so much for the honest answers!

One more for you,

4), I have told about 10 girls I want them in my wedding. Now I really do not want the whole mob. How can I let them down without hurting their feelings?

---

You jumped the gun did ya? Well it's time for damage control.

How many do you want in the bridal party? Also why not 10 girls? I know why I wouldn't want 10 girls but I don't know your reasons.

---

Dont want to buy them all gifts. Dont like the way all those girls look in pics. Also think I have grown apart from at least two of them. One of the two is my sons godmother and was upset she is not MOH.

---

Posted by JazzyT

About the sex...... how is it after marriage, i hear its not that same...shed some light is this true?

and the wedding might is it tru marital bliss or is the bride and groom tired from the hectic day and all of the planning for the past?

---

There was no naughtiness on the wedding night..just him snoozing and me opening envelopes

As far as the sex..most people will agree that it does slow down. It really depends on how long you are together if you had relations before you got married..etc..

It is a challenge to keep it fresh and new..we actually buy new sheets and bedroom stuff to get inspiration..I love new sheets and the softer the better..just one of the many tools..

---

Posted by prinses777

as for #2... Unfortunately my FH is the energizer bunny... and I have a feeling we will be doing naughty no matter how tired I am.

---

lol, see I highly doubt we will be doing anything but sleeping that night , we will probably both pass out, but thats what the honeymoon is for!!

---

Posted by enjft

---

Posted by Blu-ize

---

Posted by enjft

---

Posted by Blu-ize

1) How do you handle members of your bridal party that doesnt even have a man but constantly say 'when I get married I am going to have this and that'?

Answer: First after choking the sh!t out of them, I would say, that sounds great-I can't wait to go to your wedding if it happens.

2)How often do people have sex on the big day?

Answer: We didn't-we were exhausted. However, we did make up for it on our honeymoon. I think people are full of it when they say that they did it that night for the most part. You would have to be the freakin energizer bunny.

3)If you already live with FH for years does anything change after marriage?

Answer: We lived together for 2 years prior. Believe it or not the first year was tough after we got married. I was not truly a happy person. I think I expected some great change and it just didn't happen.

We grew even more in love and together after that first year. I know many couples have a rough first year even if they lived together. Hold on tight, don't give up-work it out...you've got to.

---

Thanks so much for the honest answers!

One more for you,

4), I have told about 10 girls I want them in my wedding. Now I really do not want the whole mob. How can I let them down without hurting their feelings?

---

You jumped the gun did ya? Well it's time for damage control.

How many do you want in the bridal party? Also why not 10 girls? I know why I wouldn't want 10 girls but I don't know your reasons.

---

Dont want to buy them all gifts. Dont like the way all those girls look in pics. Also think I have grown apart from at least two of them. One of the two is my sons godmother and was upset she is not MOH.

---

Is it the $$ mostly? If so, you can really give them nice inexpensive gifts..no need to blow your whole months paycheck. I suspect that it's just the two you mentioned that are really bugging you. Who is your MOH?

---

Posted by Blu-ize

---

Posted by kam0813

ok i've got a question..or maybe a few..depends on how inspired I get while writing this

1. How do you handle parents who aren't interested in your wedding?

My girlfrind just experienced this when she got married recently. Unfortunatley, nobody is going to be 'into' your wedding as much as you are. If you can keep that in mind you will be better off. It could be that they have no experience in dealing with this stuff..it could be that they don't want to get in the way of your plans..or simply-they don't know their place in everything. Lastly, if they simply don't give a crap, then you have to let it be..they love you..you have to remind yourself of that.

2. For someone, like myself, who can't throw things like rose petals after the ceremony..do you find ribbon wands to be a nifty alternative?

I actually (ok, opinion coming here) hate when stuff is thrown at me. I think ribbon wands are a good alternative, but totally unecessary. Do you have to have anything here?

3. How does one gracefully handle when someone says something along the lines of: 'So, when am I getting my invitation?' or 'You're inviting me right?'

---

More damage control. Stop telling the whole freaking world you are engaged..I know it's hard. Try-really-you will save yourself a ton of aggravation later. You could start by saying-'I would love to invite everyone that I know, but it's not possible. When we get our guest list together I will have a better sense of how many people I can invite. Most people are saying this because they are excited for you. I betcha most people will understand. You can't please everyone.

---

1) Well my parents and I don't really have much of a relationship but I at least thought I'd get more of a reaction out of them than the one that I did...but oh well..

2) I honestly don't really want to throw or do any of that stuff but FIL's want me to keep it as an option.

3) It's not me telling people we're engaged...its FH and his parents! They're all excited and telling everyone about it..me personally...the less people that know the better...


Thanks for all the great advice! YOU RULE!

---

Posted by Blu-ize

---

Posted by JazzyT

About the sex...... how is it after marriage, i hear its not that same...shed some light is this true?

and the wedding might is it tru marital bliss or is the bride and groom tired from the hectic day and all of the planning for the past?

---

There was no naughtiness on the wedding night..just him snoozing and me opening envelopes

As far as the sex..most people will agree that it does slow down. It really depends on how long you are together if you had relations before you got married..etc..

It is a challenge to keep it fresh and new..we actually buy new sheets and bedroom stuff to get inspiration..I love new sheets and the softer the better..just one of the many tools..

---

Thanks

---

Posted by Blu-ize

---

Posted by enjft

---

Posted by Blu-ize

---

Posted by enjft

---

Posted by Blu-ize

1) How do you handle members of your bridal party that doesnt even have a man but constantly say 'when I get married I am going to have this and that'?

Answer: First after choking the sh!t out of them, I would say, that sounds great-I can't wait to go to your wedding if it happens.

2)How often do people have sex on the big day?

Answer: We didn't-we were exhausted. However, we did make up for it on our honeymoon. I think people are full of it when they say that they did it that night for the most part. You would have to be the freakin energizer bunny.

3)If you already live with FH for years does anything change after marriage?

Answer: We lived together for 2 years prior. Believe it or not the first year was tough after we got married. I was not truly a happy person. I think I expected some great change and it just didn't happen.

We grew even more in love and together after that first year. I know many couples have a rough first year even if they lived together. Hold on tight, don't give up-work it out...you've got to.

---

Thanks so much for the honest answers!

One more for you,

4), I have told about 10 girls I want them in my wedding. Now I really do not want the whole mob. How can I let them down without hurting their feelings?

---

You jumped the gun did ya? Well it's time for damage control.

How many do you want in the bridal party? Also why not 10 girls? I know why I wouldn't want 10 girls but I don't know your reasons.

---

Dont want to buy them all gifts. Dont like the way all those girls look in pics. Also think I have grown apart from at least two of them. One of the two is my sons godmother and was upset she is not MOH.

---

Is it the $$ mostly? If so, you can really give them nice inexpensive gifts..no need to blow your whole months paycheck. I suspect that it's just the two you mentioned that are really bugging you. Who is your MOH?

---

Your so right it is not the money issue because I am not spending hundreds on gifts. I choose my two sisters as my MOH.