My best friend has been with her BF for 4yrs 4mths and before that good friends for 2 yrs, so total 6 yrs knowing each other. Lately she has been feeling that they are more like best friends than actual lovers. She loves him but there are many reasons that make her feel that way. Some times she feels like she should see other people but other times she just wants to be with him. I think she is confused because he lives with her and she can be telling me one thing then the next another. So she is confused.
She would like any advice you can offer her as she knows you ladies have been there for me and other girls.
MrsTC
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Re: Advice Needed
this happened to one of my friends...she was with her BF for 6 years too. They started dating in senior year of High School....what happened was she loved him and they were best friends, but she changed as a person....big difference between 17 and 23....and felt like she hadn't 'lived enough'. She broke up with him and started dating other people.
Maybe she needs a 'breather'....but hard if she lives with him...
Suzanne
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What about couple counseling?
nrvbrd
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It seems to me as if she wants to venture out and see other people- but she is afraid of the 'what if'
Meaning what if it does not work out with the next person, then I will be alone, or even if there is NOT a next person, it seems as though she is afraid of being alone. He is her security blanket.
An old friend of mine has this analogy- called the comfortable old shoe. They are worn out, they have seen better days, they are beyond repair , unattractive, etc, but they are reliable, sturdy and comfortable and you do not want to give them up.
He is her comfortable old shoe.
She needs to find the strength to move on if this is not what she wants. Life is too short to waste.
Latina511
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You ladies are right. She is scared. I have been trying to give her the same advice for a while. I tell her also that she can do much better but some times I feel that I shouldn't say anything and let her be. Other times I just can't because it bothers me.
nrvbrd
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I have a friend who is in a not so ideal situation.
I just listen to him vent. I do not say anything to him anymore. He really has to learn for himself.
It is sad though, isn't it
yabbobay
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I think it could be that she's so comfortable that they just might need to spice things up...everyone loves a new romance...its exciting...but it always dies down at least a little bit...
before ending anything I would suggest that they try to be spontaneous and try new things...and then counseling if need be...
