Advice please...(sorta personal)

becca Posted: Sep 10, 2003 10:43 PM

Advice please...(sorta personal)

Hi ladies, I'm new to the board but I have a question regarding my dress.

I have a scar on my breastbone (about 2 inches long and peaks above my cleavage) I am EXTREMELY self concious about it - I dont wear V-Necks or any neckline that shows it.

However, I am soooo upset about picking a wedding gown! I don't want to pick one just because it covers my scar, I want one that I really love! But I know that if it shows my scar that I will be SO self-conscious about it

So, my question to you girls is - do I pick a dress that I don't necessarily LOVE to cover up OR do I pick a dress that shows it and suffer through the self-consciousness?

Grrr...this is driving me nuts! While I've got good cleavage, I should be able to show it, instead I'm hiding it!!!

Any advice will be appreciated!!!

woozshle Posted: Sep 10, 2003 10:46 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

i think you should pick a dress that you're in love with and no one should even notice the scar because they would be in such awe of your beautiful dress.

ChristineC68 Posted: Sep 10, 2003 10:46 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

I can't see you falling in love with a dress that will show a scar you are self concious about. IMO, that can't happen.

Think positively, you may easily find a gown that you love that will hide the scar.

And remember you can almost always adjust many aspects of the gown - talk to your consultant when you go shopping and a professional one will work with you and tell what can and cannot be done.

Good luck

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 10, 2003 10:46 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

Its just my opinion..but you get a dress you LOVE>.who cares if it shows a scar..Im sure your Fh loves you with or without a scar....if you are truly self conscious about yoru scar..could you have it airbrsuhed or something like that for the wedding to make it less visible? Dont know if it would work or not..but I know that professional makeup artsist can cover anything. Get a dress you love.....

ThongLori Posted: Sep 10, 2003 10:47 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

hi becca
i suffer from a similar problem, though it is not a scar, it is the fact that i turn red and blotchy all over my neck when i am nervous! i am terrified to blotch on my wedding day.

i would say that you should find a dress that makes you feel beautiful, whether it shows the scar or not. the scar is part of you, and your FI and family and friends love you REGARDLESS!

I don't think on your big day you will care about a scar, you'll be so happy!! also, thru the miracle of Photoshop it can be retouched out of your photos if you want.

choose a dress that accentuates your best features and makes you feel like the most beautiful bride in the world. don't sweat it sweetie!

swags1016 Posted: Sep 10, 2003 10:47 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

I wouldn't worry about your scar. My mother has a deep long scar on the front of her shoulder. She wore a spaghetti strap dress for my wedding and the make up artist I used (Danielle Reneé) was able to cover it so well I could not find it without actually touching her.

Pick the dress that makes you feel most beautiful, you can cover the scar!!!

Congrats and best wishes!

Jenny5150 Posted: Sep 10, 2003 10:57 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

you're worried about a 2 inch scar on your chest? I have a 2 inch birth mark on my face! Ain't no hiding that ****a!!!

But to answer your question, I think you should try on gowns and go with what makes you feel best. If you know you're going to feel completely self-conscious the entire time, i'd go with something that can cover it. But like ThongLori said, it's a part of you. And you'd be surprised how many people find scars attractive, even if you don't. (It's kinda' hard to explain...kinda' like a 'mystery' thing.)

Is it that noticeable? Can it be covered with Derma-blend?

becca Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:11 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

thanks for the advice/support girls!

the scar is raised, kinda thick, and a little discolored...Makeup can hide the color but I think it will still be noticeable since it is raised...

honestly, i sound SO vain and i cringe when i find myself worrying about it - i know this is not the most horrible thing & there are so many other things to worry about but i am so self-conscious about it.

mishandgerard Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:13 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

I do not have a scar, but I am very heavy and my arms are almost if not the same size as some poeples legs. I was very self concious about it and was worried about finding a dress. To make a long story short, check out my pic in my profile. Off the shoulder showing my arms. You know what, when I found the dress I loved I did not even notice my arms showed at all.

sophie78 Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:16 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

I think there are some laser treatments that can reduce or remove it.

allure Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:16 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

Mishy you are Beautiful

aliciahelene Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:16 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

believe me..I have alot of insecurities..but I honestly believe that with a beautiful dress noone is even going to see the scar..it may be possible that in an everyday situation one may see the scar if your clevage is visible..but in a wedding dress? NO way...people are going to be looking at you, a beautiful bride who is marrying the love of her life...noone will see the scar. Myabe talk to makeup artist, see whta they say..and then go try on dresses....dont settle for one you like less just because it covers the scar. Get a dress you LOVE!!
And P.S. you dont sound vain..you sound like everyone of us brides who are worried and want things to be right!! Please dont worry!!

Jenny5150 Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:16 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

if ya' gonna' be workin' the whole cleavage thing, will the scar really be that noticeable!?!

I think the only way you'll know is when you start to try on gowns. you may feel so awesome in one dress, that the 'torture' of showing your scar will be worth it!!!!!

what do your family and friends say? have they seen your scar? will they be honest about it?

edited to say, BTW, you totally DO NOT sound vain!!!!!!

becca Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:25 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

Well, I am not out to show COMPLETE BOOBAGE!

But even a neckline with any cleave shows it...so frustrating! Everyone says that they dont even notice it (well, no kidding, thats cause i never wear anything that allows them to see it haha)

But seriously, you girls are right...I am sure that I will find 'the dress' regardless of the scar (fingers crossed!)

Thanks again!

jennbaby Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:29 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

You are you scar or no scar, and you are beautiful with or without it, and your FH loves you for you!!

Wear the dress of your dreams!!

PS-Dermablend works wonders! it covered 2 of my tattoos on my shoulders & i wore a strapless dress.

june262004 Posted: Sep 10, 2003 11:38 PM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

I hate the top part of my arms. I dread going to look at dresses for my wedding (in 10 months) because every dress i see in magazines and all over is strapless I will not wear a strapless gown!!! But I will say this I think If u find a dress that u love thenI think u should get it (if of course u can work on the self consiosness) I really dont think the people that are that WHO LOVE YOU or they wouldnt be there would care or even be looking! Good luck

Jenn524 Posted: Sep 11, 2003 07:20 AM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

You should wear whatever dress you love and what you're comfortable in. Get out there and try some different dresses on and see what you like. You have to be happy with your dress choice.

btrflygrl Posted: Sep 11, 2003 08:55 AM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

That scar is part of who you are and why people love you.....I think you should try on any style of dress that catches your eye (and even ones you don't imagine yourself in, cuz that's what I did-I never thought I 'd end up in a strapless)....you'll find yourself pleasantly surprised! Don't let a scar limit your dreams....

halloweenbride04 Posted: Sep 11, 2003 09:30 AM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

I agree with btrflygrl! As I also have scarring on my upper lip from a birthdefect and many subsequent surgeries to correct it. I am also extremely self-conscious and don't want the scars, which like it or not are a part of who I am, to be visible on my wedding day. I will work with my make-up artist to cover them as best she can, but the logical side of me says, I'll be glowing that day and will probably look the most beautiful I ever have so s---w the scars!

Go for it and pick the dress you love whether it shows your scar or not!!

smooch Posted: Sep 11, 2003 10:01 AM

Re: Advice please...(sorta personal)

I wasn nervous too. I wanted (and wore) a strapless dress. But in times of stress, my chest can breakout and look terrible. I was fortunate that I didn't have that but it was a huge concern for me when gown shopping.

I think derma blend would be great.

But even if your scar is noticable (to you only, I am sure, on your big day) WHO CARES?!? you will be sooo beautiful no matter what!