So last night me fh, and the inlaws, and his grandparents are watching his cousins bat-mitvah video. Its pretty much like a wedding. It was at carltun on the park. Loud DJ, tons of kids, a candle lighting ceremony with little ryhmes.
Then they start doing this dance, in a circle, and everyone including the parents get lifted in chairs!!! They proceed to tell me that i have to do this. and i proceed to tell them that there is no way in hell i am doing any dance like that especially if its being video taped, and there is no way me or my family is being lifted in chairs in front of everyone. My luck i will get dropped and fall break my leg and be in the hospital all night.
I do not want to be in the spotlight like that. I see my wedding as elegant, classy, with nice music. Hopefully a band. I do not want an MC. annoucing every little thing. I feel that my wedding will be nothing like a 13 year olds party. I literally sick to my stomache, about this and if they insist on this i will just hire a piano player for the whole night. or call it off.
cherish83
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
THATS TOO FUNNY
I hate when people stare at me
I am starting to rethink this whole wedding thing.
One of the reasons i liked my hall, was cause it was small, and intimate.
Aww, dont regret it. Does FH know how you feel. Maybe he can talk to his parents and
Espo22
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
THATS TOO FUNNY
I hate when people stare at me
I am starting to rethink this whole wedding thing.
One of the reasons i liked my hall, was cause it was small, and intimate.
awww don't worry about it, and dont regret the wedding...Everything will turn out fine, dont pay attention to small details like that, look at the big picture.
Soon2BMrsD
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
i personally HATE being the center of attention. hence the reason i dont want a wedding at all. i would like to get on a plane with my immediate family and have a destination wedding and call it a day.
it makes me so mad that FH, and FILs believe in these big huge extravagent weddings. i should have bit of a say and well i feel like i dont.
but thats not the point here. i totally understand and as one of the other brides said. Theres no way to avoid being the center of attention the whole day but if u and FH dont want to do this special dance then you shouldnt have to. But if it makes his family happy iwould really think about it.
im not jewish but i think it would be so much fun to do it. i asked FH if we could do it and he said no one would know what to do i think theres is also something traditional in the Greek families where they dance and throw money ??? i also wanted to do that. i love all kinds of traditions and since were a huge mixed family i think it would be fun. but then again NOONE would know the tradition or what to do.
think about it. its really up to you. but i also have to say if they have any imput $$ wise.. i would do it since they do have a bit of a say.
sorry so long. hope this helps
megzzie
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by Espo22
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
THATS TOO FUNNY
I hate when people stare at me
I am starting to rethink this whole wedding thing.
One of the reasons i liked my hall, was cause it was small, and intimate.
awww don't worry about it, and dont regret the wedding...Everything will turn out fine, dont pay attention to small details like that, look at the big picture.
I agree!
Snowflake08
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by Espo22
Posted by chris&jen
I think it is a tradition in the Jewish religion to do the dance you are talking about with the chairs. I would check with FH & see how he feels about it. I have seen it before and they will not let you fall, but I understand where you are coming from wanting an elegant affair...and no video!!
Yes, i believe it is a jewish tradition...There have been many very elegant weddings that do the chair dance thing.
I think that that was a point that needed to be stated - without starting DRAMA - it may be hurtful to say that doing the dance is not elegant - My sister had and I will have an elegant affair and i dont think that the dance will make it less elegant. If the point is that you are shy, that is a different point altogether. Sorry, JMHO
Espo22
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Yeah i agree...I went to a beautiful and very elegant wedding in coconut grove, anyone who has been there knows everyone there is LOADED!!! the ceremony was right on the water right before sunset, the whole wedding was really nice and sophisticated...The bride is jewish so yes they did the hora, but honestly i was sitting down when this happened, and i just looked up quick and said to FH oh look what they're doing and thats it, didn't sit there paying attention all that much, theres so much going on and so much to look at
Autumn08
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Hmmm... well its not a detail that has to be finalized just yet. I'l admit that before I got engaged I told FH I wasn't doing it! So I understand where you are coming from. The fact that he doesn't want to do it either means a lot. Keep an open mind for now but then have FH let everyone know that you don't to do it and it's a mutual agreement to you both.
I think it's important to respect tradition but if it makes you so uneasy I don't think it's worth it. I think the BoK toss silly and never took part in it before. You should here the drama that caused! Even FH was upset!
SoontobeMrsH
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by Snowflake08
its funny - i cant wait for the hora and to be lifted in the chair - i guess its cultural and tradition - believe me - YOU WILL NOT BE DROPPED!!!
me too, but I'm an attention whore
DonnaM
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
awwww--Nicole, don't worry. . .everything will be great the day of your wedding. I feel bad that you hate being the center of attention (now I feel bad for making my students give presentations. . .which they had to do today ) The day is going to go soooooooo quickly that you will not even have time to think about anything! Believe me---I couldn't believe how quickly my eparty was over. . . it was so sad afterwards. . .and you want to do it all over again. Don't worry have a couple of drinks and you will be fine!
Snowflake08
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
You will definitely be the center of attention whether you like it or not. however, in regards to the Hora - at that time, eyes ar not on you because you are dancing in a circle - is is actually somewhat chaotic and crowded so people would not be able to focus on you alone - I am Jewish, FH is not - the band will definitely play the hora (i cant see having a jewish affair and not having it) FH may dance, he may not but either way he will be in the chair!
Again, it is somewhat offensive being referred to as 'silly', as it cannot and should not be categorized with the macarena, conga line or cha cha slide! THOSE ARE SILLY JMHO
Shell84
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by dplehat
Fh will be spitting mad and I will get sick on everyone. But it would def win money on America's Funniest Home Video .
I saw a video where the groom's head hit the ceiling and punched a hole in it.
TheFutureMrsM
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by Shell84
Posted by dplehat
Fh will be spitting mad and I will get sick on everyone. But it would def win money on America's Funniest Home Video .
I saw a video where the groom's head hit the ceiling and punched a hole in it.
Thats scary, cause our ceilings are very low.
like i said its not a huge place!
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
tild, seriously though, i would kick and scream if anyone tries to do this. Im a total wacko, no one is getting me into a chair, i would kick their teeth down their throat or punch them out before they got the chance.
I'm the same way! I would kick and scream and prob leave the reception. You should tell your DJ not to play the song and make it very clear to FILs that you won't do this! Don't freak now, you're getting yourself worked up prematurely! Try and relax... Hang in the doorway and do a full body stretch for like 30 seconds. Instant relaxation!
Shell84
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
Posted by Shell84
Posted by dplehat
Fh will be spitting mad and I will get sick on everyone. But it would def win money on America's Funniest Home Video .
I saw a video where the groom's head hit the ceiling and punched a hole in it.
Thats scary, cause our ceilings are very low.
like i said its not a huge place!
Sweetie I wasn't trying to scare you more. I really support if you don't want to do it, you and your FH should definitely talk to FIL.
Shell84
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Posted by Shell84
Posted by TheFutureMrsM
Posted by Shell84
Posted by dplehat
Fh will be spitting mad and I will get sick on everyone. But it would def win money on America's Funniest Home Video .
I saw a video where the groom's head hit the ceiling and punched a hole in it.
Thats scary, cause our ceilings are very low.
like i said its not a huge place!
Sweetie I wasn't trying to scare you more. I really support it if you don't want to do it, you and your FH should definitely talk to the FIL.
beachbum05
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Awww, nicole! I didn't realize you were that nervous about it. I'm sorry if my dumbo opinion was in any way causing or contributin to your anxiety.
I would just have FH explain to his parents the situation and let them know that you are physically unable to do the hora.
Don't get upset thinking about it! It's your day. If you don't want it, tell everyone to shove it.
ellebelle1
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
The Hora is the staple (and heart) of every Jewish wedding. It's always my favorite part. Even my non-Jewish friends get into it. Lately, I've even heard of non-Jews doing the chair lifting at their weddings. Please watch the movie 'Keeping Up With The Steins.' There are some funny parts dealing with the chair lift, plus it will help you see the Hora and chair lift are fun.
BTW, you do NOT have to do the chair lift as part of the Hora dance. You can have the song and dance, just let the band know that you will not do the chair lift. It's no big deal. Sometimes moms and dads do it at weddings too, but my mom said 'hell no,' I didn't care.
BubbasBride
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
My family had this issue at my brother's wedding (his wife is jewish). my parents were not lifted in chairs, because they didn't want to be. but my brother did it with my sil and her parents because it was important to her family. it didn't last that long and the wedding still came off as elegant. Don't worry, but if you're that adamant about it, don't do it.
soon2BMrsMcD
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
don't stress...in the end it's your day and things will be done your way!!!
KellymKuehn
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Re: Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!
Tradition is fine but who wants to be uncomfortable at their own wedding. I totally understand and tradition or not you need to be ok with it. And while it is the FH family tradition, it isn't your tradition. If it isn't important to your FH, then I wouldnt stress about it. It is your day. I understand the attention thing, I am still trying to get out of walking down the aisle...
