Already Had a MAJOR FREAK OUT!!!

So last night me fh, and the inlaws, and his grandparents are watching his cousins bat-mitvah video. Its pretty much like a wedding. It was at carltun on the park. Loud DJ, tons of kids, a candle lighting ceremony with little ryhmes.

Then they start doing this dance, in a circle, and everyone including the parents get lifted in chairs!!!
They proceed to tell me that i have to do this.
and i proceed to tell them that there is no way in hell i am doing any dance like that especially if its being video taped, and there is no way me or my family is being lifted in chairs in front of everyone.
My luck i will get dropped and fall break my leg and be in the hospital all night.

I do not want to be in the spotlight like that. I see my wedding as elegant, classy, with nice music. Hopefully a band. I do not want an MC. annoucing every little thing. I feel that my wedding will be nothing like a 13 year olds party. I literally sick to my stomache, about this and if they insist on this i will just hire a piano player for the whole night.
or call it off.

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Posted by chris&jen

I think it is a tradition in the Jewish religion to do the dance you are talking about with the chairs. I would check with FH & see how he feels about it. I have seen it before and they will not let you fall, but I understand where you are coming from wanting an elegant affair...and no video!!

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Yes, i believe it is a jewish tradition...There have been many very elegant weddings that do the chair dance thing.

Well i do not think FH wants to do it. I asked him last night, and he said no.

If they want to be put in chairs, they can but i am not going in one. and i am not doing any type of silly dances on video tape.

I am a very shy, quiet person, i do not like to draw attention like that.

I am really freaking out about this, we have a year and half, and they are already dictating what will be done at the wedding.

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

So last night me fh, and the inlaws, and his grandparents are watching his cousins bat-mitvah video. Its pretty much like a wedding. It was at carltun on the park. Loud DJ, tons of kids, a candle lighting ceremony with little ryhmes.

Then they start doing this dance, in a circle, and everyone including the parents get lifted in chairs!!!
They proceed to tell me that i have to do this.
and i proceed to tell them that there is no way in hell i am doing any dance like that especially if its being video taped, and there is no way me or my family is being lifted in chairs in front of everyone.
My luck i will get dropped and fall break my leg and be in the hospital all night.

I do not want to be in the spotlight like that. I see my wedding as elegant, classy, with nice music. Hopefully a band. I do not want an MC. annoucing every little thing. I feel that my wedding will be nothing like a 13 year olds party. I literally sick to my stomache, about this and if they insist on this i will just hire a piano player for the whole night.
or call it off.

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I'm excited about the Hora, jet I want instrumental music for the rest of the night, except, 'special songs'

FH & I were watching demo cds & I was like I do not want people dancing to 'hot in here' at my wedding! he was like people will say our party sucked, b/c there isn't any music to dance to...

Give it time, and careful thought & I'm sure you will find a compromise, I'm working on one myself!, After we hit a few shows this weekend & next week, I'll let you know if i come up w/ anything keep ur chin up

The weddings I've been to - Jewish or not (my FH's friends are just jack@sses), you don't have a choice! They hoist you up no matter what. I say, have a few cocktails and go along with it.

I would imagine that if you are shy, walking down the aisle with everyone staring at you would be FAR more scary than a lighthearted dance!

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Posted by smjack

It is a traditional jewish dance, and it is done at all 'celebrations'. It is not rare at all and is done all the time- i dont think its like a kid party thing. there are tons of pictures on photographers websites of it being done at weddings. it is actually very fun and everyone enjoys it!

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yeah actually some of the most elegant and and HUGE going all out weddings do the chair dance. It takes like a few mins, and its good to uphold traditions that mean alot to the family, sometimes we do have to give in and do certain things we otherwise wouldn't, but it is better than causing problems with FIL's.

And you gotta have fun, no matter how elegant or sophisticated it is.

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

Well i do not think FH wants to do it. I asked him last night, and he said no.

If they want to be put in chairs, they can but i am not going in one. and i am not doing any type of silly dances on video tape.

I am a very shy, quiet person, i do not like to draw attention like that.

I am really freaking out about this, we have a year and half, and they are already dictating what will be done at the wedding.

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if you really dont want to do it, then you shouldn't when it comes down to it, it is your wedding, and you will be the bride, and i would hope that people would respect your wishes over your fmil on your special day. I am jewish and FH is not, we will not be doing the dance either because he does not want to, although my family wants it, its not gonna happen.

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Posted by beachbum05

The weddings I've been to - Jewish or not (my FH's friends are just jack@sses), you don't have a choice! They hoist you up no matter what. I say, have a few cocktails and go along with it.

I would imagine that if you are shy, walking down the aisle with everyone staring at you would be FAR more scary than a lighthearted dance!

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yeah actually you are right, they will just do it

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Posted by smjack

It is a traditional jewish dance, and it is done at all 'celebrations'. It is not rare at all and is done all the time- i dont think its like a kid party thing. there are tons of pictures on photographers websites of it being done at weddings. it is actually very fun and everyone enjoys it!

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I dont think me and fh would enjoy it

But you are sOOOOOOO lucky ur wedding is at Tribeca Rooftop...if i had the money i would of had it there!!!!! It is soooooooooooo gorgeous!!! and the city is spectacular!!!!

Have you seen 12-3Princess review and pics. They are phenonomal!!!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by beachbum05

The weddings I've been to - Jewish or not (my FH's friends are just jack@sses), you don't have a choice! They hoist you up no matter what. I say, have a few cocktails and go along with it.

I would imagine that if you are shy, walking down the aisle with everyone staring at you would be FAR more scary than a lighthearted dance!

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yeah actually you are right, they will just do it

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at least in the jewish tradition, I believe it is only done to a specific song-if they don't play the song, i dont think it will not happen.

I have seen the pics, and thankyou- we got a break cause of when we are doing it but i wanted a winter wedding anyway

we are cutting back in other things to make our budget, i never thought we would be able to do it there but i can not wait! and if next january is the same as this one, we will be able to be on the roof outside!

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Posted by smjack

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at least in the jewish tradition, I believe it is only done to a specific song-if they don't play the song, i dont think it will not happen.

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Oh yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it done strategically so that the couple is not aware its about to happen! Nicole, you'll be fine! Just smile and vow to seek revenge!

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

Well i do not think FH wants to do it. I asked him last night, and he said no.

If they want to be put in chairs, they can but i am not going in one. and i am not doing any type of silly dances on video tape.

I am a very shy, quiet person, i do not like to draw attention like that.

I am really freaking out about this, we have a year and half, and they are already dictating what will be done at the wedding.

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If you and your Fh do not want this done I would just tell your Inlaws that you don't want it done. And when you go for your DJ or band tell them that you do not want any of these types of dances and make sure no one can request any songs unless it goes through you.