Am I being a bridezilla

You arent Bridezilla!!
Her priorities are not the same as you but since she is in your wedding you need to talk to her.

You can't determine someone else's financial priorities. Your wedding is still far enough off that there's no reason she should have to be concerned about getting the dress now. If your FH moved to Miami for school, wouldn't you funnel more money into going to visit him than paying for a BM dress for a wedding that's a year away?

IMO you don't sound like very good friends. I couldn't imagine EVER saying 'oh, he's probably cheating on her anyway.' That's terrible, maybe you need to rethink your friendship with this girl.

No you aren't being bridezilla, but you need to recognize and accept the fact that the only people, for the most part who really care about every detail of theis wedding are you, maybe your mom, and maybe your MOH.

Your BM has other things going on in her life, and your wedding may not be top priority. All too many times, we, including myself, forget that our wedding is not everyone's top priority. If something bothers you, you need to confront it.

I have been in quite a few similar situations myself, and have learned the hard way to let things slide and forget it, butbeing that she is in your bridal party and you're worried she will drop out, ask her if she needs help paying for her dress, if you really want her in.

You cannot tell your friend how to spend her money, it's her money. And if she doesn't have enough money or sense to save it for your wedding, that's your problem to deal with, because apparently she doesn't care.

Sorry to be so blunt, but the sooner you get over it, the better. Don't let yourself get sick over it.

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Posted by eogara

You can't determine someone else's financial priorities. Your wedding is still far enough off that there's no reason she should have to be concerned about getting the dress now. If your FH moved to Miami for school, wouldn't you funnel more money into going to visit him than paying for a BM dress for a wedding that's a year away?

IMO you don't sound like very good friends. I couldn't imagine EVER saying 'oh, he's probably cheating on her anyway.' That's terrible, maybe you need to rethink your friendship with this girl.

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Honestly, if you knew the whole story about this guy you would think the same thing. and i do try to understand what she is going through and i sympathize with her about it but she is a very niave girl and sometimes feel bad for her because she deserves better. And i am very close to her there is no question that we are really good friends but I think there are other priorities in life. its time to be responsible. the funny thing is that I would never make any of my friends feel like she is making me feel right now.

you definitely need to talk with her. don't attack her trips and spending, but ask her about her ability to afford everything.

as for being late, that should be addressed too. let her know how important it is to be on time-that doesn't cost her anything-she just needs to be aware of the importance and how it reflects on her if she is late.

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Posted by natiepie1028

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Posted by eogara

You can't determine someone else's financial priorities. Your wedding is still far enough off that there's no reason she should have to be concerned about getting the dress now. If your FH moved to Miami for school, wouldn't you funnel more money into going to visit him than paying for a BM dress for a wedding that's a year away?

IMO you don't sound like very good friends. I couldn't imagine EVER saying 'oh, he's probably cheating on her anyway.' That's terrible, maybe you need to rethink your friendship with this girl.

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Honestly, if you knew the whole story about this guy you would think the same thing. and i do try to understand what she is going through and i sympathize with her about it but she is a very niave girl and sometimes feel bad for her because she deserves better. And i am very close to her there is no question that we are really good friends but I think there are other priorities in life. its time to be responsible. the funny thing is that I would never make any of my friends feel like she is making me feel right now.

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You say there are other priorities in life, but why would you say that her top one should be your wedding right now? YOUR top priority is YOUR wedding, and her being responsible has nothing to do with you. If the time comes whne she says she can't pay for her dress, then you can say she's being irresponsible....NOW you are starting to sound like a bridezilla....

Im in the SAME predicament as you. Our BM's are exactly the same. But she is a grown woman who needs to take care of her own problems. As mean as this sounds, let her fend for herself. If she can come up with the money to go to florida, then she can come up with a way to pay for the dress. Give her a deadline to order the dress, dont mention anything about florida, and just dont worry about it!!

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Posted by bluesashbride

you definitely need to talk with her. don't attack her trips and spending, but ask her about her ability to afford everything.

as for being late, that should be addressed too. let her know how important it is to be on time-that doesn't cost her anything-she just needs to be aware of the importance and how it reflects on her if she is late.

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well written!

I don't think you're being a bridezilla, but I do think you ignored some tell-tale signs about her behavior when it comes to these things. I agree with giving her a deadline- the bottom line is this- anyone you choose to be in your wedding should WANT to be there as much as YOU WANT them there!

This is your time. People may think I am mean, but I am applying tough-love to ALL those I ask to participate. If they can't hack it, I'll see them in the pews!