Am I being a Bridezilla???

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Posted by Snowflake08

i agree bonnie
however, maybe its because nicole has mentioned numerous times about her inlaws paying for this and that?

if they are contributing, and possibly contributing substantially to the event, i would think that this request and major part of a jewish ceremony (they are being married by a rabbi) would be a non issue

especially as denise said, your BP is standing beside you so its not like anyone is up at the alter alone as a couple

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Well, both of our families are contributing a lot - equally, actually. I'm all for incorporating both traditions, but if I didn't want to do one thing because I was uncomfortable, I wouldn't. Same goes for him. He took a lot of issue with some of the Catholic references, readings, etc. in our ceremony, and while my mom wasn't thrilled, she understood and respected his feelings. I would hope his parents wouldn't hold their wedding contributions over our heads.

(And we will not have anyone standing up at our ceremony. No BP - they'll all be sitting for our ceremony)

But I'm all about equally respecting each other and each others families.

i don't think anyone on here wants to offend anyone - I'm sure Nicole, and everyone else on this thread, want to have a ceremony that reflects their love for each other and their families.

if anyone feels uncomfortable with a part of their ceremony, I think it's critical to talk it out with your family and your FILs.

That's my PSA

i totally understand that bonnie
i dont think that that was really the issue as stated before

the issue was that even after I and several other people explained the significance of this people still made rude and unnecessary comments that are not respectful of other faiths

that was my gripe

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Posted by jeffamanda080808

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

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Posted by jeffamanda080808

I think this thread has gotten way out of hand. I think we should agree to disagree. I'm pretty sure Nicole had no intentions on starting a holy war.

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HERE HERE I'll drink to that

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actually this is NOT the first time nicole has done this....

start soemthing... comment once or twice it gets REAL heatend then she dissapears ALL Day and will possibly post again a day from now like nothign ever happened...

she has a bad habit of doign this and laura im sorry this got so out of control... laura.. its not worth ur energy to argue with otheres when the OP has gone MIA.

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thank you and you are right; its not, but i was trying to clarify for people what the symbolism is and that if you DONT KNOW, then to just be mindful and courteous of other people's traditions as to NOT offend anyone

again, you are correct; nicole has done this before

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Sorry I didn't know that this had happened before.

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yeah yea its ok... but may i bring notice to what thread shes not responding to...

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Posted by bluegreen08

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by gettinghizitched

I would have FH tell them. I think that it's weird that they would want to stand up there with you.

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this is exactly what i was talking about!

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Yep... totally know what you mean. I personally find it WEIRD how totally IGNORANT people are .... come on, Long Island has such a large Jewish population. It's not like you live in [insert small non-diverse town here]

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Oooh why is the word Ignorant being thrown out..I think we all have alot to learn about other religions...I definitely feel after learning about all this that his parents should be up there but, if non jewish girls don't know about the tradition, give them some time to learn or teach them, calling others ignorant isnt cool ...Where's the love girls!!

We need some more Dave posters up here!

i think that was more in response to the fact that people had already:

1. explained the tradition
2. expressed their dislike of the words 'weird' and others

Laura - I hear ya.

As always, it's ALLLLL about HOW you say something.

Name calling and using insensitive adjectives to describe your opinion is uncalled for.

I did not start this thread on purpose, i was simply asking advice, which i got, and took all the advice to heart and am thinking about what i will do with my ceremony to make it beautiful and incorporate everyones beliefs and wishes.

I am not responding to this thread because i feel it got out of hand and I did not want to respond because i didnt want to feed into anything.

THank you all for your opinions and i appreciate all the FM's i have gotten

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Posted by Snowflake08

i think that was more in response to the fact that people had already:

1. explained the tradition
2. expressed their dislike of the words 'weird' and others

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i seriously think people dont read the whole threads- just the op

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Posted by MikeandJess

In FH's religion (buddhachristajewishscientololgy), it is customary for the parents to stand up at the alter with us naked while they offer themselves to the sun gods and do a rain dance and you don't see us getting our panties in a twist about them taking the spotlight...sheesh!

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oh- i totally get it- its completely normal

but ONLY if they are naked..otherwise its just weird

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Posted by MikeandJess

In FH's religion (buddhachristajewishscientololgy), it is customary for the parents to stand up at the alter with us naked while they offer themselves to the sun gods and do a rain dance and you don't see us getting our panties in a twist about them taking the spotlight...sheesh!

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

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Posted by MikeandJess

In FH's religion (buddhachristajewishscientololgy), it is customary for the parents to stand up at the alter with us naked while they offer themselves to the sun gods and do a rain dance and you don't see us getting our panties in a twist about them taking the spotlight...sheesh!

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oh- i totally get it- its completely normal

but ONLY if they are naked..otherwise its just weird

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LOL and you are right
people do not read the thread before responding

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

I did not start this thread on purpose, i was simply asking advice, which i got, and took all the advice to heart and am thinking about what i will do with my ceremony to make it beautiful and incorporate everyones beliefs and wishes.

I am not responding to this thread because i feel it got out of hand and I did not want to respond because i didnt want to feed into anything.

THank you all for your opinions and i appreciate all the FM's i have gotten

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hey then if you got what you needed why was it so difficuly 7 pages later to tell us you were way done with the post about 6 pages earlier?

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

I did not start this thread on purpose, i was simply asking advice, which i got, and took all the advice to heart and am thinking about what i will do with my ceremony to make it beautiful and incorporate everyones beliefs and wishes.

I am not responding to this thread because i feel it got out of hand and I did not want to respond because i didnt want to feed into anything.

THank you all for your opinions and i appreciate all the FM's i have gotten

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hey then if you got what you needed why was it so difficuly 7 pages later to tell us you were way done with the post about 6 pages earlier?

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I dont really feel the need to explain myself, but by the time i saw it getting out of control, i just didnt want to contribute to it. and i can not control what other people posted and started.

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

I did not start this thread on purpose, i was simply asking advice, which i got, and took all the advice to heart and am thinking about what i will do with my ceremony to make it beautiful and incorporate everyones beliefs and wishes.

I am not responding to this thread because i feel it got out of hand and I did not want to respond because i didnt want to feed into anything.

THank you all for your opinions and i appreciate all the FM's i have gotten

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hey then if you got what you needed why was it so difficuly 7 pages later to tell us you were way done with the post about 6 pages earlier?

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I dont really feel the need to explain myself, but by the time i saw it getting out of control, i just didnt want to contribute to it. and i can not control what other people posted and started.

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i never said you have to explain urself.. im just saying a simple thank you girls for ur reply woudl be sufficient on page 2 then on 7

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

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Posted by xXxNovember08xXx

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Posted by TheFutureMrsM

I did not start this thread on purpose, i was simply asking advice, which i got, and took all the advice to heart and am thinking about what i will do with my ceremony to make it beautiful and incorporate everyones beliefs and wishes.

I am not responding to this thread because i feel it got out of hand and I did not want to respond because i didnt want to feed into anything.

THank you all for your opinions and i appreciate all the FM's i have gotten

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hey then if you got what you needed why was it so difficuly 7 pages later to tell us you were way done with the post about 6 pages earlier?

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I dont really feel the need to explain myself, but by the time i saw it getting out of control, i just didnt want to contribute to it. and i can not control what other people posted and started.

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You don't need to explain yourself LOL...there are 154 responses..and you are not in charge of other's opinions and feelings....or time. Have a great night everyone, I'm off to bed

And I will leave off with saying, I'm glad this post exists because 1) I definitely learned something and 2) it reminds us how important words can be to others, maybe we (myself included) should all be a little bit more sensitive to others opinions and traditions.

and on that note....

you know when I first read this thread I thought to myself wow that is weird that they want to stand with them..after reading through all the posts and now understanding that it is part of their religion, I think it is an awesome tradtion.. very sweet and sentimental


just thought Id throw that in lol

Wow I didn't look at this post for 24 hours and I can't believe how much has been added.

On that note, I will add that it doesn't matter if you don't like your FIL's, again it's a Jewish tradition and if you are marrying into the religion and having a religious ceremony, you should show respect.