Am I being a Bridezilla???

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by MrsDtoBe

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Posted by Snowflake08

thanks
and mrsd - i wrote what i did because you said

Posted by MrsDtoBe
I don't see why parents need to hold your hand up there

therefore, i was clarifying that parents are not holding the bride and /or grooms hands

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I didn't get what you meant and read the rest of the thread I missed while I was at work to figure out what was going on here...I think the original post was unclear, people posted words that can be misread and once again, LIW unnecessary drama begins....can't everyone just get alongg?????

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no problem , i understand
its just that i would think that if people are getting upset, others would see that it is a major deal in the jewish faith - although i dont always agree with other people, i state my feelings and opinions in a non-derogatory way
with the exception of the a$$ comment

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I think that Nicole needs to come back on here FAST and edit her post to explain how she really feels and what she really means....where are you Nicole?!

i can't believe this place has stooped so low as to attack a person for 4 pages because of a faulty choice of words..

i think everyone needs to relax. i don't think anyone intended to hurt anyone or undermine their traditions BUT to people who are unfamiliar with the tradition and NEVER heard of it, maybe 'weird' was the wrong word to use but it's the first that comes to my mind....

....and with that said now i'll probably be attacked too.

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Posted by loislane

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by loislane

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by loislane

so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.

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1. knowing someone does not equal 'friend'


sorry

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I'm an ***?? NICE i didn't know being a big poster also gives you class! Woo hoo class act you get a double thumbs up. I know the relatinship I have with my fil's I would fee 'weird' not because of tradtion but because of how they are in my life. Maybe her parents would be comfortable up there and maybe she feels they would be left out and that would be weird. But I am really happy you know how to use a dictionary. Class.

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LOL Thanks for proving my point

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I mean all i was trying to say was, maybe she hates her inlaws. I mean since you know her, is that the case? I love prooving points, you must feel great. No problem, class act.

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as do i so i repeat
if you read the OP
she doesnt say, 'Hey , i cant stand them and dont want them near me'
she said IT IS WEIRD!!!!!!!

\

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

this thread is out of hand - snowflake and loislane - cut. it. out.

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You are right, I am sorry but I just get offended for people when they jump to conclusions about things and get insulted for the wrong reasons.

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Posted by loislane

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

this thread is out of hand - snowflake and loislane - cut. it. out.

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You are right, I am sorry but I just get offended for people when they jump to conclusions about things and get insulted for the wrong reasons.

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understood but how can you say it is the wrong reason if it didnt bother YOU
i was not the only jewish person to feel the way i expressed; as there were people that agreed with me

im done -

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Posted by loislane

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

this thread is out of hand - snowflake and loislane - cut. it. out.

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You are right, I am sorry but I just get offended for people when they jump to conclusions about things and get insulted for the wrong reasons.

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Which is why laura posted in the first place, she was offended because people jumped to conclusions assuming that Nicole's husband and his family wanted to do something 'weird' when it fact it is deeply rooted tradition with which some/most on here seem to be unfamiliar. It was explained and people still continued to use the word 'weird' and 'strange'. She was insulted for the righfully so, not for the wrong reasons, and was sticking up for herself and her culture (and mine though that's besides the point). It goes both ways but only seems to work in your favor in your posts. Interesting.....

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

this thread is out of hand - snowflake and loislane - cut. it. out.

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Posted by AMGBride2008

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

this thread is out of hand - snowflake and loislane - cut. it. out.

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CUT. IT. OUT.

Love it!!!!

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by loislane

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

this thread is out of hand - snowflake and loislane - cut. it. out.

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You are right, I am sorry but I just get offended for people when they jump to conclusions about things and get insulted for the wrong reasons.

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understood but how can you say it is the wrong reason if it didnt bother YOU
i was not the only jewish person to feel the way i expressed; as there were people that agreed with me

im done -

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it just seemed that your posts were the most heated. The op sounded really upset, the problem with typing is that you can't hear the tone of someone's voice. I doubt the last thing she wanted to do was insult jewish people especialyl if she is marrying a jewish person.

Wow... I just got back from class and this thread is still going.

I know I'm repeating the same things over and over, but I just want to make sure it's really clear that people realized this is an important part of a Jewish wedding. It's equivalent to a girl being walked down the aisle by her father in a Christian wedding -- something the parents often look forward to their kid's entire life. That being said, not ALL traditions must be followed. I just wanted to make sure the OP (and many of the other posters) didn't think his parents were just being 'weird' or 'pushy' or infringing on their day.

I personally don't think it makes the day any less 'intimate' -- most people have their bridal party stand up there too! And.... about 100+ people watching and listening to you!

I would assume that both sets of parents would stand up there --- that's the tradition, and this way it wouldn't alienate one set of parents. It's also a tradition that, while associated with a religion, shouldn't make non-Jews uncomfortable because it's honoring the parents and emphasizing family.

In a way it's like your FH telling you he doesn't want your father walking you down the aisle because he thinks its weird. Of course you don't have to, some people dont, but it's one of those traditions that might be really important to you and your family.

I'd suggest doing the following: have *both* sets of parents (which is the way it normally is done) stand up at the chuppah, but just outside of it on each side so they are giving you a little more space. then have the bridal party up there too as is 'normal'

I admit my bias, but I think it's one of those things that won't really harm you but would be very important to some of the other people involved, even if it's 'only' your FILs. However, knowing the meaning behind it if you are still truly against it and feel it would ruin your day, then it might be better to leave it out.

I don't think that you're being a bridezilla but maybe they need to have explained to them that normally the parents don't stand up under the chuppa with the bride and groom.

If your rabbi is also against this (not to sound bad) maybe get him/her to explain that it's not something that is normally done.

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Posted by DGoldfarb0776

I don't think that you're being a bridezilla but maybe they need to have explained to them that normally the parents don't stand up under the chuppa with the bride and groom.

If your rabbi is also against this (not to sound bad) maybe get him/her to explain that it's not something that is normally done.

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But.... normally the parents DO stand up under the chuppah with the bride and groom.

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Posted by bluegreen08

It really is Jewish tradition for the parents (both sides) to stand up there -- not right on top of you but at the sides of the Chuppah. FH wasn't crazy about that at first but he decided he's OK with it because it's a big part of tradition

in the end it's what you guys want, but I just wanted to comment that it's not something random your FH's parents made up to smother you

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If this is true then I don't see it being a problem if it is their faith..

However, if you will lose sleep over it then I would have your FH talk to them about it.. its his faith...OH WOW just read the last few pages...WOWSERS SHAGGY!.

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Posted by gettinghizitched

I would have FH tell them. I think that it's weird that they would want to stand up there with you.

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this is exactly what i was talking about!

ack - pulled the trigger.

I just say kumbya

happy weddings to all.

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by gettinghizitched

I would have FH tell them. I think that it's weird that they would want to stand up there with you.

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this is exactly what i was talking about!

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Yep... totally know what you mean. I personally find it WEIRD how totally IGNORANT people are .... come on, Long Island has such a large Jewish population. It's not like you live in [insert small non-diverse town here]

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Posted by bluegreen08

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Posted by Snowflake08

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Posted by gettinghizitched

I would have FH tell them. I think that it's weird that they would want to stand up there with you.

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this is exactly what i was talking about!

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Yep... totally know what you mean. I personally find it WEIRD how totally IGNORANT people are .... come on, Long Island has such a large Jewish population. It's not like you live in [insert small non-diverse town here]

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I find it weird that a small town would be associated with being non-diverse. that is a bit ignorant.