FH's parents want to stand up with us during our ceremony. I only want FH and I up there with the Rabbi
How can i tell them nicely they have to sit in their seats?
anyone else going through this?
Espo22
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Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by ChristineAaron08
im trying to find the meaning- all i found is this
Chuppah (chupah) The chuppah is a canopy, usually a decorated piece of cloth, that symbolizes the home the bride and groom will build together. The chuppah is open on all sides, also symbolizing that friends and family are always welcome in the newlywed’s home.
of topic..but i gotta say I LOVE the flowers in this pic
but hey- how did the video guy get a seat in the chuppah
Im pretty sure HE is NOT supposed to be there
Espo22
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Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by MrsV2be
i guess the issue at hand is that most people fail understand the cultural aspect of it.. in my culture, the parents are treated with the utmost respect and honor and the family is considered to be sacred.. and each person, dad, mom, bro, sis all have an equal and important role when someone gets married.. it's truly a family affair..
but that might not be that mentality people were raised with.. and it's not that the person is bad.. it's just the norm to them.. they're paying for the wedding and feels that it's their wedding and nothing else matters except themselves and their significant other.. i for one believe that in any marriage, interfaith or otherwise, leave the traditions to the parents.. make them happy and it will come back to you ten fold..
my fh's parents should get a standing ovation at the wedding for dealing with him all those years
mrspalomino148
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Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
I defiantly don't think your being a bridezilla by any means, we think of our days the way WE want them since we were kids, and we might think thats the only way to do things. Not saying you OP, But I have to say to others you are NOT going to care about ANYONE else besides you and fh that day. And I have to be honest its a little silly to hear that it won't be intimate if people are standing by your side, when your whole family will be there listening to your vows or whatever it is your doing that day, they might not be standing up there, but there still there.
Either way your day is going to be a great day, whether you include these traditions or not is up to you and fh. But make sure you think hard about it, and if you both decide against it, I would assume you won't want this for your children if you have any as well.
missliss
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MrsV2be
i guess the issue at hand is that most people fail understand the cultural aspect of it.. in my culture, the parents are treated with the utmost respect and honor and the family is considered to be sacred.. and each person, dad, mom, bro, sis all have an equal and important role when someone gets married.. it's truly a family affair..
but that might not be that mentality people were raised with.. and it's not that the person is bad.. it's just the norm to them.. they're paying for the wedding and feels that it's their wedding and nothing else matters except themselves and their significant other.. i for one believe that in any marriage, interfaith or otherwise, leave the traditions to the parents.. make them happy and it will come back to you ten fold..
my fh's parents should get a standing ovation at the wedding for dealing with him all those years
Amen to that!!!!!!!
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by missliss
Posted by Espo22
Posted by MrsV2be
i guess the issue at hand is that most people fail understand the cultural aspect of it.. in my culture, the parents are treated with the utmost respect and honor and the family is considered to be sacred.. and each person, dad, mom, bro, sis all have an equal and important role when someone gets married.. it's truly a family affair..
but that might not be that mentality people were raised with.. and it's not that the person is bad.. it's just the norm to them.. they're paying for the wedding and feels that it's their wedding and nothing else matters except themselves and their significant other.. i for one believe that in any marriage, interfaith or otherwise, leave the traditions to the parents.. make them happy and it will come back to you ten fold..
my fh's parents should get a standing ovation at the wedding for dealing with him all those years
Amen to that!!!!!!!
now i want to do this at the reception as a joke hahahahahaha or have FBIL put it in his speech, i really think i will
loislane
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Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Maybe she said it was 'weird' for another reason not because she isn't used to it. Maybe it's weird to have one set of parents not the other, maybe it's weird because of a relationship she has with fil. You dont' know the relationships with other people's parents, inlaws or significant others. I think you are jumping to conclusions and making someone feel they aren't open minded. I think that is RUDE! So unless you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes don't judge. Ooh yeah and I really enjoy your comparison to 'I wouldn't eat that wafer' it doesn't make sense obviously you can't just eat it if you didn't recieve certain sacraments, so obviously you don't know about another faith's traditions. So long story short, it's good to have an open mind but dont' get out guns blazing unless you understand why someone worded something a certain way.
Snowflake08
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Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by loislane
Maybe she said it was 'weird' for another reason not because she isn't used to it. Maybe it's weird to have one set of parents not the other, maybe it's weird because of a relationship she has with fil. You dont' know the relationships with other people's parents, inlaws or significant others. I think you are jumping to conclusions and making someone feel they aren't open minded. I think that is RUDE! So unless you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes don't judge. Ooh yeah and I really enjoy your comparison to 'I wouldn't eat that wafer' it doesn't make sense obviously you can't just eat it if you didn't recieve certain sacraments, so obviously you don't know about another faith's traditions. So long story short, it's good to have an open mind but dont' get out guns blazing unless you understand why someone worded something a certain way.
LOL as a matter of fact, i DO know about sacraments i know more about my FH's religion than HE does and as someone that has recently joined LIW, as opposed to me, someone that KNOWS nicole, i think she knows what MANY of us were trying to say so, thanks lois lane
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
oh, and also, as i sit here pondering about your annoyance with my references the word WEIRD, in the ENGLISH language means strange or bizarre so the last time i checked, this has ZERO to do with someone's relationships with inlaws or anyone else
it is a word with a meaning and all i did was point out that it is a word that sounds rude to people to whom these things are customary
loislane
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by loislane
so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.
Maybe she said it was 'weird' for another reason not because she isn't used to it. Maybe it's weird to have one set of parents not the other, maybe it's weird because of a relationship she has with fil. You dont' know the relationships with other people's parents, inlaws or significant others. I think you are jumping to conclusions and making someone feel they aren't open minded. I think that is RUDE! So unless you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes don't judge. Ooh yeah and I really enjoy your comparison to 'I wouldn't eat that wafer' it doesn't make sense obviously you can't just eat it if you didn't recieve certain sacraments, so obviously you don't know about another faith's traditions. So long story short, it's good to have an open mind but dont' get out guns blazing unless you understand why someone worded something a certain way.
As my fabulous Jewish Grandmother would have said....OIGH!!
And Snowflake is completely right - when you refer to someone's traditions as 'weird,' it's kind of difficult to not take it as a negative connotation.
MrsD71208
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by MrsDtoBe
I see that this stinks for you to decide, but what does Lee say? I wouldn't want parents up there, period. My MOH is the only one that will be by my side...my BP will be seated in the first row of the church, right by my parents. I don't see why parents need to hold your hand up there....I am with you and would talk to Lee about it...he is understandinag.
my parents will not be 'holding my hand'
Thanks for clarifying that for me....but as was meant for Nicole, if you don't want it done and after reading how it's a Jewish tradition, then you have to talk to Lee without a doubt and figure out a way to make sure that you do not offend his parents. Maybe have your parents up there too so that it's fair....I wouldn't just have his, you know?
missliss
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by loislane
so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.
What she said was that the comment calling an honorable and meaningful tradition 'weird' was rude. If she said she was unfamiliar with it, or uncomfortable or that it was different from what she was used to it would have been fine. But saying that something so meaningful to some is 'weird' or 'strange' or some other comments that were getting thrown around on here is RUDE. plain and simple.
I don't 'know' anyone on this site, but i do know what I read and I agree, people were rude and close-minded.
loislane
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by loislane
so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.
1. knowing someone does not equal 'friend' 2. you are an a$$
sorry
I'm an ***?? NICE i didn't know being a big poster also gives you class! Woo hoo class act you get a double thumbs up. I know the relatinship I have with my fil's I would fee 'weird' not because of tradtion but because of how they are in my life. Maybe her parents would be comfortable up there and maybe she feels they would be left out and that would be weird. But I am really happy you know how to use a dictionary. Class.
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
thanks and mrsd - i wrote what i did because you said
Posted by MrsDtoBe I don't see why parents need to hold your hand up there
therefore, i was clarifying that parents are not holding the bride and /or grooms hands
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by loislane
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by loislane
so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.
1. knowing someone does not equal 'friend'
I'm an ***?? NICE i didn't know being a big poster also gives you class! Woo hoo class act you get a double thumbs up. I know the relatinship I have with my fil's I would fee 'weird' not because of tradtion but because of how they are in my life. Maybe her parents would be comfortable up there and maybe she feels they would be left out and that would be weird. But I am really happy you know how to use a dictionary. Class.
LOL Thanks for proving my point
MrsD71208
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by Snowflake08
thanks and mrsd - i wrote what i did because you said
Posted by MrsDtoBe I don't see why parents need to hold your hand up there
therefore, i was clarifying that parents are not holding the bride and /or grooms hands
I didn't get what you meant and read the rest of the thread I missed while I was at work to figure out what was going on here...I think the original post was unclear, people posted words that can be misread and once again, LIW unnecessary drama begins....can't everyone just get alongg?????
loislane
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by loislane
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by loislane
so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.
1. knowing someone does not equal 'friend' 2. you are an a$$
sorry
I'm an ***?? NICE i didn't know being a big poster also gives you class! Woo hoo class act you get a double thumbs up. I know the relatinship I have with my fil's I would fee 'weird' not because of tradtion but because of how they are in my life. Maybe her parents would be comfortable up there and maybe she feels they would be left out and that would be weird. But I am really happy you know how to use a dictionary. Class.
LOL Thanks for proving my point
I mean all i was trying to say was, maybe she hates her inlaws. I mean since you know her, is that the case? I love prooving points, you must feel great. No problem, class act.
loislane
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by loislane
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by loislane
so you KNOW her but yet you choose to say she is rude, some friend you are. Glad you aren't mine, Have a great day. I joined june of 07 and am more of a lurker then poster but I guess you need to have high posts in order to know the way the world works. Also that is great you know more about fh's religion, call the pope maybe you could be some sort of consultant.
1. knowing someone does not equal 'friend' 2. you are an a$$
sorry
I'm an ***?? NICE i didn't know being a big poster also gives you class! Woo hoo class act you get a double thumbs up. I know the relatinship I have with my fil's I would fee 'weird' not because of tradtion but because of how they are in my life. Maybe her parents would be comfortable up there and maybe she feels they would be left out and that would be weird. But I am really happy you know how to use a dictionary. Class.
LOL Thanks for proving my point
Snowflake08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Am I being a Bridezilla???
Posted by MrsDtoBe
Posted by Snowflake08
thanks and mrsd - i wrote what i did because you said
Posted by MrsDtoBe I don't see why parents need to hold your hand up there
therefore, i was clarifying that parents are not holding the bride and /or grooms hands
I didn't get what you meant and read the rest of the thread I missed while I was at work to figure out what was going on here...I think the original post was unclear, people posted words that can be misread and once again, LIW unnecessary drama begins....can't everyone just get alongg?????
no problem , i understand its just that i would think that if people are getting upset, others would see that it is a major deal in the jewish faith - although i dont always agree with other people, i state my feelings and opinions in a non-derogatory way
