Am I being a bridezilla?

check out the post: 'need to vent sorry'

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Posted by KPetekie

Is it too much to ask my bridal party to pay between 75 and 90 to get their hair done? The girl I want to use charges 75 for an updo and 90 for half up half down. I might pay 20 towards their hair too.
I feel like people think I am asking a lot whenever I ask them to pay for things. I'm really not. The dress is 150 plus alterations that won't cost more than 65. If they don't want to do alterations at the place, the dress is only 110. They can choose their own shoes as long as they are brown. And my mom is paying A LOT of the shower so they are only going to have to chip in about 90 each. I think they are saving a lot of money on the dress and the shower compared to a lot of weddings. Considering that, I asked them to get their make up done which is 70 and their hair done which I guess would be between 75 and 90. Some girls didn't want to do their make up and I didn't make a big deal about that but with the hair, I really don't want to hear it. I have been looking for a hair dresser for a really long time and since I'm not getting ready at home, I need someone who is willing to travel and do a large bridal party. When I told one of my bridesmaids about the price, she tried to say that she only paid about 40 to get her hair done for her sisters wedding... but I really don't think thats possible. And she said, 'It was no where near 100 bucks'. I tried to tell her that they charge more for weddings but she said that would be illegal but I really think they do! I've been looking for a long time so I've seen a lot of prices.

What do you think? Am I being too demanding or is that an okay price?

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I don't think you are being a bridezilla but I do feel you should take into consideration the economic times we are in right now. If you are not able to pay for all your girls to get their hair done then you need to sit them down and let them know their options. I understand you said you would pay $20 of the cost but that may still be more than what the girls' regular stylist may charge.

If they have a stylist they already go to, then explain how you want their hair and make up done for the day of. I dont' think you have to skimp out on how you want your girls to look but I don't think they need to break the bank. $90 is a lot of money especially if you are not sure if you will have a job the next day.
As long as you give the girls options then I think you should be fine. You shouldn't have to worry about people rolling out of bed and not looking presentable (even though I doubt any of them would do that) Just be sure to be nice about so as not to cause any unnecessary drama.
Good luck and I hope it all works out.

Would you be open to let your girls get their hair done wherever they want. Its nice to have your girls with you when you are getting ready but at the same time its fine if they go early to get it done elsewhere where they are comfortable with the price and they can still make it in time to be with you while you get ready. I told my girls they can get hair and make up done wherever they want or if they wanted to do it themselves. Some went early in the morning, and were still at my house by 11am, and i only started getting ready at 10am so there were still able to be with me for a few hours. This way they still are getting their hair done but maybe they have somebody they always go to that does it for a great price. And to tell you the truth, when i started at 10am to get my hair done, its not like i was able to socialize much lol. I did have my MOH there early so she was there from the beginning bc she had her hair and make up done at my house, plus my mom.

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Posted by coldasice217

No, I do not think you are being a bridezilla. However, I would give them the option.

It's absolutely fine to say that you would like hair and makeup to be done, as in you don't want them rolling out of bed. Believe me, I've got one of those, so if that's your concern, I completely understand. I would say that you are having someone come do the hair/makeup, and this would be the price. If they would rather use their own stylist, that's fine as well, as long as they're at the house on time for pictures, are put together, etc.

If you really want them to get done by this particular person for a reason, unfortunately, you will probably have to pony up a portion. You just have to decide if it's worth it or not.

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I'm having the lady come to my house and then giving everyone the option of if they want to do it here or someplace else (except my sister lol).

Maybe I should have explained more of the background before I posted. I'm having 11 bridesmaids, 3 are sisters and 1 is a cousin so my mother is paying for them. 1 is my roommate, the girl who made the comment, and 1 was married and I just paid more to be in her wedding than she will be paying to be in mine. (See below) 1 girl is from out of state, just moved back to NY and is given access to her parents credit card so she should have nothing say. 1 is FH's sister who plans on using her own hairdresser because its one of her best friends so she doesn't count here. Another girl is getting married after me and I'm in hers. I work with her and her entire mortgage is paid for by her fh so that all of the money she makes is just for spending and paying off student loans. The last two girls are friends from college who both live at home with their parents. I of those girls was in the other bm's bridal party with me last year and paid the same amount I did which is more than I am asking. The other girl is tight on money but when I asked her opinion on whether or not I should ask the girls to pay for this stuff, she said its 75 bucks and we have year to come up with the money so its not a big deal.
A lot of the girls here have mentioned that I should allow the girls to get their hair done at home where it is cheaper. Most of the girls will be traveling to the wedding (from Long Island, Upstate NY, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, ect.) so I have to have someone come to the hotel to do their hair. The girl who made the comment could go home if she needed to in the morning because she is only about 40 minutes away from the hotel and I would have no problem with that. However, I need to let the hair person know which girls are doing their hair with her since she would need assistance if all the girls are getting their hair done. With me and my mother, we are 13 people so I have to arrange for someone who can handle that many people. Oh and I'm not telling them how they have to do their hair. I just want it too look nice and done. That can be just blown out if thats what they want or as fancy as an updo. But I do want their hair to look manicured.
More on the girl who made the comment:
She is my best friend from high school and she lives with fh and me. FH and I own our apartment and she rents a room from us. Even though there are only 2 rooms (one for her and one for us), we split the rent three ways. Since it doesn't split evenly, FH and I EACH pay 50 a month more than she does. On top of that, we furnished the entire apartment and supply all of the kitchen/cleaning supplies. I think that is fair since she won't be keeping anything when she moves out. However, she also made a comment yesterday when I used her hairdryer about how I should get my own because they are only like 20 bucks. It floored me to hear her make a stupid comment like that when I share everything I have with her and fh and I are considerate in paying more rent than she does. I think in general, I am more than generous with my money and I think she could use some of the money she saves by paying less rent each month and use that toward her hair.

When I was in my friends wedding this is what I paid for:
100 toward shower
90 on hair
180 on dress
40 on slip under dress
80 on alterations
250 on bachelorette party
40 on nails
50 on make up
And fh and I gave her a timeshare trip as her honeymoon (his parents own the timeshare not us but we paid part of the yearly fee to take the week... If we didn't have that then we would have given her atleast 300 for wedding so 150 each)
Oh and shower gift 75
Total: 905 (plus the 150)= $1055

My wedding is:
90 for shower
110 for dress (no slip needed)
This girl said alterations will cost 30 (she just used the same lady for sister's wedding)
20 nails (cheaper where I'm from)
90 hair
75 make up
50 hotel night before (needed because my mom's house can't accommodate that many people even if I were getting married close to my home.... but I'm not)
TOTAL: 385 and if they spend the same on bachelorette party, shower gift, and wedding= 860

That's almost 200 less than what I spent at my friends wedding so I think I'm being reasonable in asking them to pay for their hair. Plus FH and I are thinking of paying 20 bucks towards all of their hair but I didn't include that bc I haven't mentioned it to them yet and I didn't think of it until after I posted. Maybe people still won't agree with me and thats fine but I think I'm being reasonable based on all I just explained. (sorry had to defend myself :)