One of my bridesmaids, who is also my sister in law, just told me that shes pregnant. I knew they had been trying, and we talked about how as long as she didng get pregnant in jan-march we'd be ok...in a kidding around sort of way. Well needless to say, she got pregnant in Jan and will either be 9mths pregnant the day of my wedding, or she will have just given birth. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them. I just feel like she didn't give any thought to me at all. Not that I expect them to hold up their life for me, I just hoped that they'd be a little careful jan-feb. I feel selfish for saying that, but I can't help it. I don't really care so much that she'll be pregnant (mind u the bridesmaid dresses are already here, and her's is a size 10!), but the fact that there is a chance that either her, or her and my bro (who is also in the wedding party), will miss out on my wedding. It also stinks that she'll miss out on the bachelorette party etc...I told her she didn't have to be in the wedding party bc I know it'll be added stress and money, but she said she wanted to be. I dont know, I feel selfish, but I also feel like this is typical of my sis in law. She never thinks about how the things she does affects other ppl, she just does whatever she wants. UGH!
carolinebr
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Re: am I being selfish??
to lighten the mood, I do have a kind of funny related story:
My BF found out she was pg with her 1st before our friend's wedding. So when she told our friend that she would be 8 monhts along come wedding day, our friend actually REALLY said this to her:
'Oh that's ok. I have a great photographer! He can totally airbrush your belly out of the pictures.'
This did NOT go over well. She was VERY offeneded that the bride wanted to 'erase' her baby. Needless to say, my BF told her that wouldn't be neccessary & dropped out of the BP. But now at least she tells the story & laughs.
beachbum05
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Re: am I being selfish??
Posted by carolinebr
to lighten the mood, I do have a kind of funny related story:
My BF found out she was pg with her 1st before our friend's wedding. So when she told our friend that she would be 8 monhts along come wedding day, our friend actually REALLY said this to her:
'Oh that's ok. I have a great photographer! He can totally airbrush your belly out of the pictures.'
This did NOT go over well. She was VERY offeneded that the bride wanted to 'erase' her baby. Needless to say, my BF told her that wouldn't be neccessary & dropped out of the BP. But now at least she tells the story & laughs.
mbg1007
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Re: am I being selfish??
Youre not being selfish and youre not weird, youre only human and I think that most people would have those same thoughts
billandme
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Re: am I being selfish??
Posted by Queensbebe
One of my bridesmaids, who is also my sister in law, just told me that shes pregnant. I knew they had been trying, and we talked about how as long as she didng get pregnant in jan-march we'd be ok...in a kidding around sort of way. Well needless to say, she got pregnant in Jan and will either be 9mths pregnant the day of my wedding, or she will have just given birth. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them. I just feel like she didn't give any thought to me at all. Not that I expect them to hold up their life for me, I just hoped that they'd be a little careful jan-feb. I feel selfish for saying that, but I can't help it. I don't really care so much that she'll be pregnant (mind u the bridesmaid dresses are already here, and her's is a size 10!), but the fact that there is a chance that either her, or her and my bro (who is also in the wedding party), will miss out on my wedding. It also stinks that she'll miss out on the bachelorette party etc...I told her she didn't have to be in the wedding party bc I know it'll be added stress and money, but she said she wanted to be. I dont know, I feel selfish, but I also feel like this is typical of my sis in law. She never thinks about how the things she does affects other ppl, she just does whatever she wants. UGH!
The EXACT thing is happening to me right now.....My sister is due a few weeks before our wedding, and because of that, she can't fly, so she can't attend our wedding. They were talking about trying and she said they would hold off a few months, but that didn't work ........ at first I felt hurt that she couldn't have waited a few months, but that passed quickly Now she is having a difficult last trimester and now she is a priority on my list.....not my planning.
Yah, it ***** she might not be there, and in turn, your brother won't be there. It's going to hurt on your wedding day as well........but everyone has special moments in their lives that not all family members can attend. Sad?? Of course......but life has handed this to you......now it's up to you on how you want to deal with it No, you're not selfish for feeling this way at all. It's normal........
My sister was my MOH, so I am still putting her in the program as that..........
Hope it all works out for you.......
ant n tilde
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Re: am I being selfish??
are you being selfish? sure - you know that you are
but everyone is selfish! what makes you a good person is what you do with that feeling! i would feel the same way as you - have a pity party for a week or two and then start celebrating the upcoming addition to my family! i completely understand what you are going through - it isnt so much that she will be pregnant, it is more about your brother missing your wedding - which could be very sad
but its just one of those things you cant control - dont feel guilty about it, just make sure that you dont ever let them know your dirty little secret- and you will have stories to tell all your kids when you were older!
ETAB
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Re: am I being selfish??
yeah I have the same situation two of my bm are pregnant, my friend will be 6 months and my sister in law is due 2 days before the wedding... I think your reaction is completly normal..... Everybody wants to be the center of attention on their wedding and the thought of something maybe taking that away eventhough it is an unbelievanle blessing and gift to have a niece or nephew it is still upseting at first. i dont think you are weird.. I had the same reaction..
But now I am exciting and I cant wait to be an aunt!!!!
HollyMac
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Re: am I being selfish??
I feel for you. My sister loves being at the center of attention and was talking about getting pregnant in 2007 after the holidays. However, I told her my wedding date and surprisingly enough she got pregnant in 2006 before the holidays and claims that she is due on my date! I highly doubt that she will have the baby on the same day but she's the type that would fake going into labor in the middle of the ceremony or reception to get some attention. She pushed to be my MOH and now she is 'too pregnant' to help to do anything. She asked if she could not longer be in the bridal party b/c she doesn't have the time to fufill any responsibilities.
My favorite comment of hers was when she told me that my Dad probably won't be able to give me away b/c he will be with her in the hospital as she delivers the 1st grandchild.
Thankfully my father has assured me that this is not true. Yes I know you are all jealous of the wonderful sister I have!!
carolinebr
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Re: am I being selfish??
Posted by HollyMac
My favorite comment of hers was when she told me that my Dad probably won't be able to give me away b/c he will be with her in the hospital as she delivers the 1st grandchild.
Gasping for air!!! WOW WOW WOW.... that is unbelievable.
vmystique33
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Re: am I being selfish??
Posted by carolinebr
to lighten the mood, I do have a kind of funny related story:
My BF found out she was pg with her 1st before our friend's wedding. So when she told our friend that she would be 8 monhts along come wedding day, our friend actually REALLY said this to her:
'Oh that's ok. I have a great photographer! He can totally airbrush your belly out of the pictures.'
This did NOT go over well. She was VERY offeneded that the bride wanted to 'erase' her baby. Needless to say, my BF told her that wouldn't be neccessary & dropped out of the BP. But now at least she tells the story & laughs.
tricia3381
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Re: am I being selfish??
Posted by mbg1007
Youre not being selfish and youre not weird, youre only human and I think that most people would have those same thoughts
very well put!! i couldn't agree more. this was my reaction AT FiRST when found out my sister was due 2 months before my wedding. but now chec out my avator. don't worry ur day won't be ruined promise and those feelings of hurt/upsetment towards ur sil wll pass. mine did after a a few days.
tricia3381
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Re: am I being selfish??
Posted by HollyMac
She pushed to be my MOH and now she is 'too pregnant' to help to do anything. She asked if she could not longer be in the bridal party b/c she doesn't have the time to fufill any responsibilities.
Yes I know you are all jealous of the wonderful sister I have!!
OMG i think we have the same sister!!! mine also used to be moh but now that something 'better' is happening in her l ife shes just a bridesma id no longer MOH.
aren't sisters wonderful?????
PegaLega
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Re: am I being selfish??
YOu have FM You are not selfish as someone else said youa re human and EVERYONE has their self-ish moments that others dont agree with
Queensbebe
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Re: am I being selfish??
thanks for listening girls. I just needed to vent about my initial feelings. I figured u girls would understand. I am really excited about being an aunt, I just had to get some of those evil thoughts I've been to afraid to say out. Things work out in the end, I don't care about her being pregnant. I just cared that she'll be 9mths bc I was afraid she/I/my bro would miss out. Hopefully things will work out and shell have the baby a little before the wedding so we both can get nice and drunk!!! Seriously tho, I never meant to imply I wasn't happy, I just had to admit that these thoughts were going through me head bc I felt guilty. Also, they were supposed to meet us for the 2nd week of our honeymoon in hawaii...now they can't. I understand, I was just a little disappointed bc I was looking forward to them being there. I think with all the stress and everything else it was like one more thing, u know? I am happy for them tho, I apologize if that point didn't get across earlier.
