Brides Helping Brides ™ - Am I being sensitive? – Page 3

wo0shply Posted: Jul 31, 2007 02:34 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

I think she wants all or nothing... my cousin's moh is like that. I would not be able to afford 1/2 of that.

I understood that I had to part with some money but I almost fell off my chair when she said that amount. That was another reason why I did not want to be in the BP but she really wanted me in it and i caved.

ant n tilde Posted: Jul 31, 2007 02:39 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

ok 6 girls x $500 = $3000
and that is only if mothers are not contributing at all
that is a lot of $$$, what are they planning? am i wrong here. . .

idk - bc in all of my experiences the mother of the bride throws the shower by herself so i am not sure how much it could cost but it sounds like A LOT!

Mici n KC Posted: Jul 31, 2007 02:40 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Do NOT, do NOT, do NOT tell your cousin anything!!!!!!!!!! You don't want to drag her into this.

Get on the phone with the MOH and tell her that her email came off a little condescending and you didn't appreciate her talking to you that way. Let her know exactly your situation and that you will definitely contribute in other ways - that you just can't financially. End of story. Maybe you can throw in a less expensive option for the shower?

Don't get upset, don't cry - she's just a bittch. Call her out on it, you'll feel better.

You're 1000% right. She has no right speaking to you that way. I guarantee she would be the first person to b1tch if she was in your situation. She is not being considerate at all. And tell her you told this to your cousin in the beginning when she asked you to be a BM.

wo0shply Posted: Jul 31, 2007 02:45 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

I think he MOH wants the BP to handle all the costs. My cousins FI said he might pay for everything and shes a little out of hand.

I thought that price was a bit high. How much does the BP contribute for both the batchlorette and shower? This is my first wedding so I'm not sure about these things.

AeroJenn Posted: Jul 31, 2007 03:06 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by wo0shply

I think he MOH wants the BP to handle all the costs. My cousins FI said he might pay for everything and shes a little out of hand.

I thought that price was a bit high. How much does the BP contribute for both the batchlorette and shower? This is my first wedding so I'm not sure about these things.

Just to give you an idea -- my BMs contributed $150 each for my shower. My mom contributed maybe $300. They did it at someones house, had some food catered, made some food, bought the favors and decorations. i TOLD my BMs not to go crazy. Its JUST a shower...it doesnt need to be expensive. $400 for a shower per person is absolutely insane. I would have flat out told her she was crazy!

GinaBambina08 Posted: Jul 31, 2007 03:15 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Honestly, I think her MOH was very nasty in her response, I understand if she's disappointed but she didn't have to say all of that ...what exactly did you say when you told her you wouldn't be able to participate? Do you think you could have possibly came off like you didn't care about your cousin's parties or do you think you really seemed apologetic?

Mizzdimple Posted: Jul 31, 2007 03:17 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Email her and tell her that you will help out as much as you could, but that you cant afford it. Thats all!

bemyyoko Posted: Jul 31, 2007 03:18 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by AeroJenn

Posted by wo0shply

I think he MOH wants the BP to handle all the costs. My cousins FI said he might pay for everything and shes a little out of hand.

I thought that price was a bit high. How much does the BP contribute for both the batchlorette and shower? This is my first wedding so I'm not sure about these things.

Just to give you an idea -- my BMs contributed $150 each for my shower. My mom contributed maybe $300. They did it at someones house, had some food catered, made some food, bought the favors and decorations. i TOLD my BMs not to go crazy. Its JUST a shower...it doesnt need to be expensive. $400 for a shower per person is absolutely insane. I would have flat out told her she was crazy!

i totally agree with this comment.

I really hope my shower isnt going to be over the top, what i really want is a tea party at someone's house! that would be so cool.

$500 per person sounds ridiculous to me. espcially since she didnt even tell you where the money was going!

FutureMrsRice Posted: Jul 31, 2007 03:56 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

She is rude. point blank.

wo0shply Posted: Jul 31, 2007 03:56 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by GinaBambina88

Honestly, I think her MOH was very nasty in her response, I understand if she's disappointed but she didn't have to say all of that ...what exactly did you say when you told her you wouldn't be able to participate? Do you think you could have possibly came off like you didn't care about your cousin's parties or do you think you really seemed apologetic?

I said this 'I will not attending the festivities since I cannot contribute financially. I can help in any other way you may need that does not involve money.'

and her response was this 'Ok, well, that will definitely be something to let the rest of the girls know since we will have to cover your share of finances…'

toniscott Posted: Jul 31, 2007 05:04 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

That was really out of line...Talk to your cousin and work it out, if you can't then bow out gracefully

MrsD71208 Posted: Jul 31, 2007 05:06 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by wo0shply

This is a vent and also a question.

My cousin's MOH just emailed me asking if I could contribute $400-$500 to my cousin's bridal shower/batchlorette party.

When my cousin asked me to be one of her bm I made it clear that I could not contribute financially because I am going to be going to school full time, quit my job and also saving up for a wedding. She assured me that I will not have to bare any of the costs.

When my cousins MOH emailed me asking i could contribute this much, I emailed her back explaining my situation with school, quitting my job and wedding saving. I also said that since I cannot contribute financially I will not attend because I feel bad that I cannot give in any money.

She write me back saying 'So am I understanding your intentions that you won’t attend, won’t contribute financially, and won’t help out either?' I am so upset that I started crying at work, I'm already stressed out because I have no money even for my wedding and I want to call my cousin and back out of the BP because of her MOH.

Any advice? I'm super stressed

she emailed me back and said this... gee can she rub it in any more?

'Ok, well, that will definitely be something to let the rest of the girls know since we will have to cover your share of finances…'

YUCK!! Sounds like a real nasty girl! I'd talk to your cousin ASAP and let her know how it happened....don't leave any detail out. I'm SURE your cousin will fend for you and make you feel better. I'd be PISSED too!

kBr Posted: Jul 31, 2007 05:14 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by wo0shply

'Ok, well, that will definitely be something to let the rest of the girls know since we will have to cover your share of finances…'

that sounds so rude... your share of the finances? you have your own finances to worry about, you shouldnt have to incur any from your cousin's wedding. JMO. i would talk to your cousin about it, maybe she doesnt know this is going on... and hopefully she will set her MOHzilla straight. good luck hun

DLM107 Posted: Jul 31, 2007 05:34 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Write back, and say, 'Listen b1tch, here's an idea, go F yourself.'

That is what I was thinking That's great that you wrote it!! I would talk to your cousin and explain the situation.

ant n tilde Posted: Jul 31, 2007 05:45 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

i already responded but i wanted to add something

you kind of have no choice - you have to attend the shower since you are a bridesmaid. . . i mean, attending the shower and bach party are pretty important parts of being a bridesmaid and i dont think you should let this girl make YOU look bad by forcing you not to go - i think you should find another solution

bella1028 Posted: Jul 31, 2007 06:27 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

I agree with the idea that you should not involve your cousin...BUT her MOH needs to be addressed. How incredibly over the top rude!!! Maybe you need to reiterate what both you and your cousin have already spoken about. Sorry you are sad...but this too shall pass

ItalianBride428 Posted: Jul 31, 2007 06:29 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

well, first, that is rude!!!
second, if you discussed this with your cousin, then I dont see a reason for the MOH to be mad. I mean, if you cant do it, you cant do it...and, even if she was upset, she could have said something to you in a more adult way....how would she like that if the roles were reversed!

loislane Posted: Jul 31, 2007 06:54 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

First of all let me say how sorry I am that you have to deal with someone being a complete and total bully. It's not fair for a moh to expect anyone to contribute to that, it's an insane amount of money for the bp! In my experience with wedding showers/ bachelorette parties is that bride and grooms family's chip in and sometimes the moh! As far as bachelorette parties go people usually do like 100 bucks a person because that more or less covers your own head, in that case I would sit out if I couldn't afford it. But no one ever has to cover that much like that, it's nuts. I mean if you chip in that much how much do you give as a wedding gift??? It's sad when people don't realize it's about celebrating a commitment not a license for people to expect gifts. If people want to be a hot shot let them be, it's not your responsibility to have to over give when you aren't in a position to do so!

MikeandJess Posted: Jul 31, 2007 07:00 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

You're not being sensitive I would be PISSED. I would e-mail her back and really let her have it. If you do drop out of this wedding (which I don't think you should) definitely let your cousin know what a manipulative whore her MOH is, excuse my french. Who is she to threaten to tell the bp that you can't contribute to the shower? This made me really angry, give me her e-mail and I'll tell her.

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Jul 31, 2007 08:22 PM

Re: Am I being sensitive?

Posted by wo0shply

Posted by GinaBambina88

Honestly, I think her MOH was very nasty in her response, I understand if she's disappointed but she didn't have to say all of that ...what exactly did you say when you told her you wouldn't be able to participate? Do you think you could have possibly came off like you didn't care about your cousin's parties or do you think you really seemed apologetic?

I said this 'I will not attending the festivities since I cannot contribute financially. I can help in any other way you may need that does not involve money.'

and her response was this 'Ok, well, that will definitely be something to let the rest of the girls know since we will have to cover your share of finances…'

You should reply and tell her that you already spoke to your cousin about finances when you agreed to be a BM.

I would still go to the shower and help out with what you can (set up/DIYs)

What the he!! are they planning for that much $$ ...dinner with trump?? The MOH was VERY VERY rude and her responses were not called for. I would give it right back to her. Im glad you are not upset by this biatch any more