Am I being sensitive?

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Do NOT, do NOT, do NOT tell your cousin anything!!!!!!!!!! You don't want to drag her into this.

Get on the phone with the MOH and tell her that her email came off a little condescending and you didn't appreciate her talking to you that way. Let her know exactly your situation and that you will definitely contribute in other ways - that you just can't financially. End of story. Maybe you can throw in a less expensive option for the shower?

Don't get upset, don't cry - she's just a bittch. Call her out on it, you'll feel better.

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I couldn't agree more..... and I couldn't figure out how to say it.

Your cousin is probably pulling her hair out already with all the stress, she doesn't need any more.

tell me about it. I feel so silly for letting her get to me!

I want to tell my cousin about her MOH but I dont want to because she is already stressed out about her wedding. I dont want to stress out my cousin anymore.

You guys are seriously the best! I feel so much better now.

Thanks for all the advice. I'm going to try to do everything I can to not get my cousin involved. How do you feel about the groom can i get him involved?

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Posted by wo0shply

tell me about it. I feel so silly for letting her get to me!

I want to tell my cousin about her MOH but I dont want to because she is already stressed out about her wedding. I dont want to stress out my cousin anymore.

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I hate bullies!!!! I hate manipulative, passive-aggressive people!!!

You seem like a really nice girl so I'm super mad for you! If you need help coming up with a dialogue, let me know, I'll type it all out for you!

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Posted by Spelldizzy

Please don't drop out of the wedding. If you and your cousin had an understanding its between you and her. She would wonder why all of a sudden you are upset and dont want to be in her wedding. Are you close with any of the other girls in the wedding?

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my sister and my cousins bestfriend

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Posted by Spelldizzy

Please don't drop out of the wedding. If you and your cousin had an understanding its between you and her. She would wonder why all of a sudden you are upset and dont want to be in her wedding. Are you close with any of the other girls in the wedding?

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i def agree...

you told your cousin your situation and she STILL wanted you in her wedding.. Because its not about money to her .. she loves you and you are important to her. She would prob be very upset if you dropped out

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Posted by wo0shply

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Posted by Spelldizzy

Please don't drop out of the wedding. If you and your cousin had an understanding its between you and her. She would wonder why all of a sudden you are upset and dont want to be in her wedding. Are you close with any of the other girls in the wedding?

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my sister and my cousins bestfriend

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Maybe you should ask you cousin's BFF to talk to the MOH???

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Posted by kellybean

I would speak to the bride....in a not so direct way...I would let her know that though you are honored money is still very tight and that you feel a bit uncomfortable with that....and maybe she could discuss this with the MOH....she was really nasty to you and it was horrible.!!!

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I agree. I understand that as the bride she is stressed out, and all, but personally speaking, as a bride, if my MOH was treating other people in my wedding this way I would DEFINATELY want to know about it.

that really annoys me. she's being a snot. you shouldn't have to feel bad esp since you told your cousin from the beginning of your situation. if i were you i would have said something really nasty back to her...but you might not want to start a whole thing...

i am glad you said you are feeling better...you came to the right place w your problem, i'm glad the girls on here helped you and made you feel better.

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Do NOT, do NOT, do NOT tell your cousin anything!!!!!!!!!! You don't want to drag her into this.

Get on the phone with the MOH and tell her that her email came off a little condescending and you didn't appreciate her talking to you that way. Let her know exactly your situation and that you will definitely contribute in other ways - that you just can't financially. End of story. Maybe you can throw in a less expensive option for the shower?

Don't get upset, don't cry - she's just a bittch. Call her out on it, you'll feel better.

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ITA!

my cousin's shower was a DISASTER ( preparing for it ) but she had NO IDEA until MONTHS later when it came out one drunken night LOL so she didnt have to stress about THAT in addition to the wedding. . . she was able to enjoy her shower and bach party bc we kept her in the dark and i think that is the BEST thing to do in this situation.

Now, when someone agrees to be a BM they are agreeing to spend some $$$$ on the wedding. But that amount is OUT OF CONTROL! sorry, i have been in a bunch of weddings and that is just crazy.

I think that you have to call this girl up and straighten this out ASAP before SHE says something about YOU to your cousin ( maybe saying that you are not interested? )

you can help out in many ways and you should definitely participate. . . . if you have to cut back somewhere cut back on the bach party rather than the shower. Contribute what you CAN and like some other girls said, make up for it by helping with DIYs decorations running around etc

I actually just IM'ed my cousins FI and i told him the situation. He basically said shes crazy and I should find out what shes planning because thats an insane amount to ask someone.

He said thats how my cousin and her friends roll. (high rollers)

My cousin has 6 girls including me and 2 of them is my sister and her bff so they know my situation hopefully the other two will not get mad at me and the MOH can go F herself.

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Posted by wo0shply

I actually just IM'ed my cousins FI and i told him the situation. He basically said shes crazy and I should find out what shes planning because thats an insane amount to ask someone.

He said thats how my cousin and her friends roll. (high rollers)

My cousin has 6 girls including me and 2 of them is my sister and her bff so they know my situation hopefully the other two will not get mad at me and the MOH can go F herself.

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First, I would not mention anything to your cousin right now - unless she knows about the shower.

And coming from someone who has been in a situation where one of the BM's contributed no money to anything, it really s u c k s for everyone else. It's also not cool to plan something that costs so much money without input from all involved, because I've been there too.

If I were you, I would just offer to give whatever I could to help. Whether if be financially - and honestly I think it should be, it's part of being a BM - or offereing to pick things up, get decorations whatever.

This all being said, the MOH definitly went about this the wrong way...and I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's not like you didn't want to help.

Sorry to crash. This MOH is very rude....but I can see WHY she would say something. By telling her you're not contributing financially and not coming it does make it seem like you're throwing all the responsibility on the other BMs. My advice would be to call her and talk to her -- tell her that your cousin knows your financial situation and that although you would LOVE to contribute, you just cant right now, and that you do not appreciate the way you were spoken to about this mater. The, I would offer to come help set-up, decorate, do whatever tasks need to be attended to, help plan, etc. and definately be there that day.

Dont back out of the wedding -- your cousin wants you as her BM...she wouldnt have asked you if she didnt. And DONT tell your cousin about this issue until AFTER the wedding. As a past bride (who had the SAME situation happen with my own BMs) trust me when I say she doesnt need the stress right now. She should be notified of the issue after the wedding though because it is something she should know about.

GL sweetie!

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Do NOT, do NOT, do NOT tell your cousin anything!!!!!!!!!! You don't want to drag her into this.

Get on the phone with the MOH and tell her that her email came off a little condescending and you didn't appreciate her talking to you that way. Let her know exactly your situation and that you will definitely contribute in other ways - that you just can't financially. End of story. Maybe you can throw in a less expensive option for the shower?

Don't get upset, don't cry - she's just a bittch. Call her out on it, you'll feel better.

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I'm on that end recieving end of the spectrum and I hate it. No matter how many times I tell MOH to leave me out of it and resolve it herself, she keeps on dragging me in. I'm totally stressed out right now because of it and totally doubting my decisions.

I agree complettely with Jen, please don't involve your cousin. It will only upset her more to know that there are problems.