AM I EVIL?

OLA Posted: Feb 07, 2008 11:56 AM

Re: AM I EVIL?

LOL everyone's in a different situation and as long as you believe who cares how you live your life right? its not like you killed someone, my FH gets so pissed when he has to listen to stories like that about church if it wasnt for me he'd choose a different church but i wont let him

bemyyoko Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:01 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

Evil? No.

I may be in the minority here, but I'm a firm believer that if you're getting married in a church, do it 'right' I did not lie about anything to our churches. The first Church, my Parish where I grew up and was very involved would not marry us because of some of our answers. However, I would not have been comfortable lying to a priest, especially inside the church. So, we went to my FH's Parish. Same religion. They agreed to marry us and thanked us for being so honest with them. My priest said it was refreshing to not be lied to. We just spoke to our Parish's new priest this week about having a ceremony or a Mass. He asked some questions that I could have lied through and been garunteed a Mass or I could be honest...
I told him the truth about everything, and once again he was impressed with our honesty and approved the full Mass.

I would never say someone is evil for lying. Do I personally think it's wrong? Yes.
I just think it's wrong to start off your new life together under circumstances that are based on a lie.
It doesn't mean that it's not what 'most' people do though.

OLA Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:04 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

its fine that your honest. everyone is entitled to their own opinion i feel terrible and maybe it is wrong

jjk1007 Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:10 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

We were in the same situation with the church that was marrying us. They pretty much told us that if we live together than we cant get married there. We chose not to lie about it. It just didn't seem right, in our opinions, to start off our marriage lying to the church that will be marrying us before God. But like others have said, everyone lies. And DH and I certainly aren't perfect and have obviously lied before. But we chose to be honest in this situation. After explaining our particular situation to our pastor, he agreed to marry us even though the situation wasn't ideal in God's or the churches eyes.

PegaLega Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:12 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

You are definitely not evil-if you feel that strongly about your church then I see nothin wrong,

However, we got married in our church, said we lived together, etc. adn it actually NEVER came up. We said it and got no funny looks, no 'talking to' about it or anything.

I guess some churches are just different

OLA Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:17 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

i know its just my luck but thanks for your kind words ladies, i reallly feel bad about it i hope it doesnt ruin our wedding

Ms Sawney Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:23 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

every one lies repent after go to confession and clear your soul

MD835 Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:32 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

Posted by Future Mulligan

i never heard of the priest not letting you do something because you have premarital sex or already live together.....im not really sure why people lie i would assume that the priest rather you be honest....are you sure you had to lie?

oh yes that's true! they're very strict -- when FH told something true, the priest decided not to give him absolution

OLA Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:51 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

MMHMMM some churches are real strict!

gabbie83 Posted: Feb 07, 2008 12:55 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

Posted by OLA

lol ok so its not just me FH gave our address, and i gave my parents thanks ladies i feel better i was surprised to be honest i guess i should have known its church rite? and i would have messed up our church ceremony bc i didnt know if u want a religious ceremony u cant get married in city hall at least at my church

we already got married in city hall -
what church are you getting married at?

OLA Posted: Feb 07, 2008 01:14 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

st. stans in greenpoint

bemyyoko Posted: Feb 07, 2008 01:21 PM

Re: AM I EVIL?

Posted by OLA

i know its just my luck but thanks for your kind words ladies, i reallly feel bad about it i hope it doesnt ruin our wedding

I don't know what religion you are, but maybe you can go to confession or something to help ease your mind.

If you feel that strongly about it it's not too late to tell the priest to the truth, there are other churches out there that will marry you.

I'm not judging you, at all. And I'm not trying to tell you what to do or what you should do either.

it's just very clear from your original post and your comments that you are upset about this, and I'd hate for that feeling to get worse and affect your wedding day you know?

I hope you find peace with your decision, i mean that genuinly, not in the 'holier than thou' way it sounds when i read it to myself.