am i nuts to feel this way? **UPDATE**

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I havent read every reply but just want to say..

HELL NO...

No on staying in the room and NO on driving.

Im sorry.. I am not really jealous and I am secure. But.. that is a LONG time in a confined area without much to say and do. I just wouldnt be that thrilled with another woman getting that 'close' to my man.

As far as staying in the same room..

That is out of line and actually laughable. I think its actually extremely disrespectful to you......esp when he knows you dont want him to.

... ps.. the other day we had like 20 friends in town that we know from the internet. My BF had to do something so I was meeting 2 guys that we both know. ( My BF and I were staying at a hotel along with everyone else. )When my BF asked what I was going to do one night.. I said.. Oh I dont know.. hang out ..maybe go up to the room and watch TV.
He said that he would rather I NOT have my friends in the room that were guys because it is 'inappropriate'. I called him old fashioned. He said.. fine.. but its not appropriate and I would rather you not.'
Of course I wouldnt.. because I respect my man. AND.. I really wouldnt want to be a position of being in a hotel room with another guy.

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I totally agree with you! I am just like you not jealous at all!! The drive is fine. But sharing a room, that's not fine that is awkward. And what kind of girl is she to be sharing a room with man who is getting married. You need to inform him that it's not normal to share a room with a woman who is not your fiance or part of your family!!

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

Randi, you have every right to feel this way. Guys just sometimes don't see things the way girls do! so frustrating. Sharing a hotel room is way out of line. I can kind of see the driving part since they are both going, but I still would be upset about that as well.

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I have to say that if my FH told me he was going to share a hotel room with another woman, the only response he would get would be laughter. I trust him, but that is just not right. He would probably be laughing as he told me, because he would know what my response would be....and let me ask you this....would your FH be ok with you taking this trip, and sharing a room with another man?

I would say no, but that is just me, and I am not crazy or jealous....it just doesn't seem appropriate...JMO

..And the more I think about it, I wouldn't want them driving together for that long either. You don't know this woman, you don't know if she would try to put the moves on your hunny....and the whole thing really doesn't sound very 'professional' to me...

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I am not a jealous person and I would say NO WAY! Even the driving part would annoy me. No one wants to be 'that girl' the one that whines and pouts and comes off insecure BUT frankly there is now way I would be cool with the room sharing and would also not be thrilled about the driving. I would really put my foot down and say this just isn't going to happen.

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I am the first to say that girls can be overbearing, jealous and just down-right crazy. But in this situation you are NOT. He really has to understand where you are coming from. I would consider the situation to be disrespectful. I cannot believe this chick thinks this is ok. Guys tend to be very laid back and though I don't know your FH, I honestly think he's has no intentions of hurting your feelings. However, I would NEVER agree to share a hotel room with someone else's FH. I would tell him that the situation is making you very uncomfortable and he should respect that. Good luck

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I think everything has been pretty much said already, but I'll add my two cents.

YOU ARE TOTALLY NOT WRONG for feeling this way. I am NOT the jealous type at all, but being in a car with a good looking, very single, co-worker of the opposite sex for THIRTEEN HOURS each way, is a huge no-no. And a co-worker that he's very 'fond of'?!?! Um, hell no.

It's completely inappropriate and even MORE so to even CONTEMPLATE staying in the same room at a hotel. I've been at my company for 12 years and I would NEVER stay in a room with any of my male co-workers, and I really like them! It's just beyond wrong. Although you trust your FH completely, you do not know this woman and who knows if she's even a teensy bit interested in your FH. Even if she's not, it's completely inappropriate and has nothing to do with jealousy.

I say no to the 26 hours of driving together and the hotel stay. I know most people have said the drive is not the issue, but let me make a point about this...

My FH and I drove 8 hours each way to Canada and back (two times) and the first time we did that, we had already been together almost 4 years. And yet, we STILL found so much to talk about, bond over, get to know each other better on another level etc. We just really connected so much over each 8 hour drive. What do you think your FH and this coworker will be doing for 13 hours each way??? Talking, getting to know each other better, bonding, etc. That's NOT something I want for my FH to do with another woman that isn't a good friend of ours or family.

Anddddd, 13 hours is REALLY LONG. I mean, the direct flight to Tahiti is 12.5 hours and that's FREAKING LONGGG. Why in the world do they prefer to drive that long distance instead of just flying? That alone would make me wonder what the heck. I'm assuming that money is an issue, but I'd rather spend the money on a flight and not eat out or make a sacrifice elsewhere, than take a 13 hour drive etc.

to you. If you feel strongly about it, your FH should respect your wishes.

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The more I think about this, the more I have to agree that even the driving is an issue. I remember last summer driving to Maine w/ FH and that was 7 hours that, like MsQ said, brought me and FH even closer than ever. AND, driving can be just as expensive as flying with gas, tolls, food etc. Ugh...

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I am NOT the jealous type and this whole situation is flat out disrespectful to you. Personally even the driving would be an issue with me. Who wants to spend 26 hours driving, with anyone for that matter??? It can't possibly be that much easier or cost effective. And the hotel room, absolutely not, that's just ridiculous that he would even suggest that. You don't have sleepovers with single women, no matter how 'great a friend' she is. I would put your foot down because he's full of sh*t that he would be fine with you doing the same with a hot single guy he doesn't know. I can't believe you even have to point this out to him.

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

thanks for all the support everyeone!! we're home in NY with my parents this weekend and while I was out with my Mom doing wedding stuff this moring, I told her the whole situation too. She was HORRIFED! FH still doesn't understand what the problem is, he says we're just looking at things from different perspectives - I'm looking at wendy as a girl and he's just looking at her as a co-worker. I'm like, co-worker or not, she's still a SHE! this story gets even better though because COST IS NOT AN ISSUE! Their Chem Dept at the university was planning on getting them plane tickets and SEPERATE hotel rooms, but they're both 'adventurous' and thought it would be a great idea to 'tour the country side' because it's beautiful between AZ and CO. AND MY FH SUGGESTED THEY SHARE THE ROOM because originally the dept was going to put them up in a Super 8 Motel and they thought that ****** and wanted a nicer place to stay. I was like, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?! THIS WAS YOUR IDEA?!? Overall, I've been very cool and calm about this - I haven't yelled at all, but I've expressed how insanely dumb he is. it really just shows his lack of experience with women (I'm only his 2nd gf and he only dated his first gf for like 7 mo, who convenitenly he got together with after a ROAD TRIP, no less) i was like, seriously, if someone didn't know you and heard this story, they'd totally think you're cheating on me. but yeah, i'm trying my hardest to make sure this doesn't happen!!!

thanks again for listening and your support!!

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

I think you should definitely be upset!! How could he even think of doing that. I bet he's be upset if you did.

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Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

i would not like it if my FH shared a room w/ a female. HELLS NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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There would be absolutley NO WAY my FH would be sharing a room with another girl even if it was for work... how could your fh think it's ok? You need to seriously talk to him again and again until he realizes what is wrong with the situation. Y would he even want to share the room? It makes no sense!

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

Re: am i nuts to feel this way?

Who the hell drives to Colorado, that is the most insane idea of I have ever heard of. Honestly I would tell him how you feel. I trust my FH too and am RARELY ever jealous, but there is no way on God's green earth he is getting in a car with another woman for 13hrs Both ways AND sharing a hotel room, absolutely freaking NOT!!!!

ETA: Just read your post about the company paying for everything...I have to be very honest with you when I say that I think your FH is being extremely inconsiderate of your feelings and your relationship. If he does this you will be going out of your mind worrying for days EVEN if you trust him...I say that b/c I would and I am in no way insecure about my relationship, it just isn't right. Sorry so blunt but it really annoys me!!