Am I Overreacting - Long & not Wedding Related..Sorry :-(

I am taking a deep breath as I write this as not to let my emotions get the better of me. My husband's dog died on Wednesday night, she was 10 and as he says 'his best friend in the whole world', which I can TOTALLY understand. The dog had a minor surgery last week and there were no complications. She was a bit lethargic which hubby attributed to surgery and age. Well Wednesday night I come home from work, she is a bit lethargic, I call the emergency vet, who says it could be from heat, I make sure she is cool and hydrated and make an appt for following day. Well you guessed it, she died and of course hubby is at work (fireman) I call him at 4am and he bolts home. Minute he gets thru the door he screams in my face'What did you do to my dog?' I let it go, thinking he is angry and hurt. So I proceed to try to comfort him, he pushes me away. Okay I say he is angry, so I in turn make the arrangements to have the dog be picked up and brought to the pet cemetary for cremation, I also arrange a little 'viewing' for him before the cremation. I find an e:mail from him to his ex girlfriend telling her about the dog, telling her he hopes this news doesn't upset her, thanking her for loving the dog and basically venting to her about the situation. Meanwhile I was the one that would drive 2 hours when we were dating to take care of her when he was working, and cleaned her up after she died so he wouldn't see her the way I did. Am I making too much of this, especially him turning to the ex.. Just so confused and feel like he blames me for the dog's death Thanks for letting me vent

Am I Overreacting - Long & not Wedding Related..Sorry :-(

WOW! Seems like he is a little bit overboard here. I have a dog and would be devistated if something happened to her, but he should not have accused you and most definitely should have turned to YOU for support. I would have a long talk with him and let him know how much that has hurt you, and how you feel. Sounds like it could build up to be more than just about the dog, so nip it in the bud now. How frustrating! I hope it all works out.

Am I Overreacting - Long & not Wedding Related..Sorry :-(

Michelle; You are definately not overreacting to be hurt by what happened, but I wouldn`t worry too much about his e-mail to his ex as long as it`s not something that continues. Give him some time, then talk to him about it and let him know you were hurt, or felt betrayed or secondary or whatever best describes it. Right now he`s probably just stiking out in grief and anger. He probably felt he had to notify everyone that ever loved the dog of the death, including the ex, and just let loose with his venting when he retreated to a place of familiarity. He may very well blame you, the vet, himself, and just about anyone he can for his dogs death, but once the grief passes he`ll probably realize he`s being unreasonable about it and things will start to heal. Be strong and hang in there....

Am I Overreacting - Long & not Wedding Related..Sorry :-(

I agree, hang in there...anger is one of the stages of grief..I called a friend (ex-roommate) who I had gotten into a fight with when my cat died, b/c she had known the cat too, so don't worry about the ex. Continue being supportive...and hopeful he sees what a gem he has...

Am I Overreacting - Long & not Wedding Related..Sorry :-(

Consider this a Godsend. Get rid of him now before he punishes you for the next fifty years. Sounds like he could use a chill-out week with the girl's FI who is going hoochi chasing in cancun with his friends. Good Luck.

Adrain * Just Get off the Board Your Comments Are Not Needed *NM*

Adrain * Just Get off the Board Your Comments Are Not Needed *NM*

I'll take that under consideration.

Adrian - that was uncalled for!!!!

Your attitude seems to be to GET RID of anyone that doesn't act the way you think they should. That's the only advice you seem to post. Doesn't bode well for your own relationship if you can't learn to work through the rough spots....

Am I Overreacting - Long & not Wedding Related..Sorry :-(

Adrian - That's really unecessary. Go elsewhere. This is a great board, please don't ruin it. Michelle - Hang in there. I agree with the other girls. He is lashing out. Let things blow over and then talk to him about what happened. Communication is key!!

Jeez...Didn't Mean to Start WWIII *NM*

I suppose what 'Adrian' doesn`t realize...

...is that his/her behavior won`t be tolerated here. LI Weddings has done a lot to ensure that this is a pleasant place for us to come and interact. For anyone that wasn`t here as recent as 6 months ago, it was getting really ugly at times. FYI, you may think you can post under a 'secret' name, but you can`t keep your ISP address a secret from the webmaster so I suppose my message to Adrian is to hurry and get all your boring, little comments in before LI Weddings shuts you out. The blessing for the rest of us is that`s all it will take to get rid of you but you`re stuck with your miserable self. Michelle-sorry to get off track from your original message & what you are feeling. I think I would probably feel hurt too. But I`m learning that the growth of a relationship takes a lot of nurturing. Being honest about how his behavior effects you is important but it`s also important to find the right time to say it. He sounds very attached to his dog and all of that have pets know that`s it devastating. Allow him to his space with his grief but also realize that when the time is right, perhaps when he is past the initial stages you can discuss his reaction and the other things that you said bothered you. Hang in there, sometimes just having the patience and tolerance not to strike back when struck (figuratively speaking, of course!) is the greatest gift you can receive in a moment of hurt or anger. I believe every single interaction, especially in a marriage, is an opportunity to learn how to better grow closer. I think it applies to the wedding planning stages too. If you want to chat more, email me.

I suppose what 'Adrian' doesn`t realize...

Michelle...i think it could be that he's upset with himself for not being there when his beloved dog passed on. just give him some time and as his grief subsides, he'll see he was wrong to be accusatory. you should let him know how you feel about him emailing his ex once this has blown over. i'm sure it'll all be fine...

Michelle

You certainly didn't start WWIII. It seems that periodically people come here whose only intent is to incite arguments. Eventually they either go away on their own or are asked to leave. I wouldn't waste time worrying about it. As for you fiance, I agree with everyone else. Give him some time then discuss it with him. Since he thought that the dog would be fine I am sure it was a shock to him to learn that it had died and he overreacted. That happens to most everyone at some time or another. Communication is the key to a good relationship so talking it out is sure to help. Good luck and let us all know how it goes.

Thank you

Ladies, Thanks for all your good wishes and kind words. I'm sure the e:mail to the ex was just a form of venitng..but I guess my selfish self wanted it to be ME to who he turned to..not turned against. I have decided to let it rest for now. If he only knew how my heart broke when I found the dog dead, and how I tenderly cleaned her up so his last memory of her wouldn`t be a BAD one. I guess time heals..so that`s what I will do for now.

Ha Ha!

adrian is just the biggest joke. michelle, do not be upset w/ what 'adrian' wrote. she is very frustrated w/ her own life and feels the need to bring others down. do not let her ignorance and snide comments get to you. she does this to everyone. you really just have to laugh it off because she is such a joke. things will all work out for you michelle and remember all things happen for a reason. good luck and don`t worry!!