am i psychotic?!

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Posted by Autumn08

The proper care and feeding of husbands.

There was a whole post the other day.

I was skeptical but as I'm reading it I'm thinking 'Oh no! I do that! What poor FH goes through for me!'

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thanks guys! ... really appreciate all ur comments ...

and yeah .. it's totally something i need to change about myself ...

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by lilangel369

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by lilangel369


ack .. me and my big mouth ... u think apologizing would work? i don't really want to play games and i usually don't .. it's just he doesn't usually talk to girls and he's got all male friends .. but all of a sudden he's chit-chattin with this one and i'm wondering why ... but if i ask him about any girls he gets upset. so i have to find other ways of finding out *argh!* i'm so retarded ...

you all are right tho .. i just gotta let it go ...

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dont worry! you are NOT psychotic!

just apologize to FH and drop it

like i said FH literally talks to NO girls all day - i mean theonly woman he works with is his partner's MOM lol so i would DEFINITELY be freaked out too

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I would just apoligize and let it go.

But I'm still concerned that you still feel like you need to find out about other girls. Why do you feel like he'll be unfaithful?

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i don't know .... guys ... hot chicks ... it's gotta be hard not to ....

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has he ever done anything to make you suspicious? if not then that is an issue you have to deal with and find out why you are feeling like that. Maybe its because of your past or many other reasons why you feel like this. Just bc a guy and a hot chick interract doesn't mean they're going to have sex. She might have a bf, she might not even be interested in your FH, she might even be a lesbian for all we know. Plus the point is that you are supposed to trust him, if you dont then that will cause problems. Honestly if im in a relationship and the person is jealous and i never did anything for them not to trust me it will just frustrate me. Just trust in the man you are marrying, if he does something wrong then that is different. ALSO can i warn you now and DONT say another word about this co-worker, you are going to push the idea of her onto him...Ive seen many times where someone didnt even find the other person attractive until they were told many times oh i know you think shes pretty, oh stay away from her and things like that.

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i totally disagree

well not totally LOL but i think that it is always important to keep your eyes open at all times - trust is one thing. . . but the only people that i put my blind faith in is my parents. . .

maybe its the sicilian in me . . . but i firmly believe that you should never just close your eyes and hope everything is okay. . . i am not talking snooping or letting it take over your life. . . but just being AWARE of what is going on at all times. . . VERY important to me!

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oh dont get me wrong, my nickname used to be private investigator because i was bad and seriously impressed myself with what i used to do lol. But I also learned about what can happen when you do so and the mess you can get yourself in. Until you see something bad you HAVE to keep it to yourself

Here is what it comes down to lol.

if you are going to snoop DONT SAY ANYTHING, keep it to yourself and dont give clues that youhave snooped. Wait until you find out something big where you HAVE to say something. Because if lets say there was something and first email which is just a friend email you say something, then they're going to make sure you dont find out and they'll be sneaky making it harder on you to find out. If he thinks you're clueless he'll be careless.

Also i hate saying this but its so true and have seen it SOOOO many times. You keep telling a guy enough about a girl you are pushing him to her. You are putting the idea of him and her in his head and then all of a sudden he will start fantasizing about it. Also the one girl you tell guys STAY AWAY from is exactly who they would go to.

I pay attention to what FH does and realize things all the time and know when something is wrong with him, he doesn't even have to tell me. He always tells me im the most perceptive person he met. But until its needed, keep it to yourself, they're careless when they think you aren't up their ***. Point is i trust FH but yeah of course he did anything suspicious then im gonna say or do something, But until they give you reason to not trust them you can't start fights

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Posted by lilangel369

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Posted by Autumn08

The proper care and feeding of husbands.

There was a whole post the other day.

I was skeptical but as I'm reading it I'm thinking 'Oh no! I do that! What poor FH goes through for me!'

---

thanks guys! ... really appreciate all ur comments ...

and yeah .. it's totally something i need to change about myself ...

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Life is just a work in progress!

letting it go ... letting it go ....

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Posted by lilangel369

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Posted by Espo22

oh dont get me wrong, my nickname used to be private investigator because i was bad and seriously impressed myself with what i used to do lol.

Here is what it comes down to lol.

if you are going to snoop DONT SAY ANYTHING, keep it to yourself and dont give clues that youhave snooped. Wait until you find out something big where you HAVE to say something. Because if lets say there was something and first email which is just a friend email you say something, then they're going to make sure you dont find out and they'll be sneaky making it harder on you to find out. If he thinks you're clueless he'll be careless.

Also i hate saying this but its so true and have seen it SOOOO many times. You keep telling a guy enough about a girl you are pushing him to her. You are putting the idea of him and her in his head and then all of a sudden he will start fantasizing about it. Also the one girl you tell guys STAY AWAY from is exactly who they would go to.

I pay attention to what FH does and realize things all the time and know when something is wrong with him, he doesn't even have to tell me. He always tells me im the most perceptive person he met. But until its needed, keep it to yourself, they're careless when they think you aren't up their ***. Point is i trust FH but yeah of course he did anything suspicious then im gonna say or do something, But until they give you reason to not trust them you can't start fights

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good points ... i guess i just wanted to know her intentions and what's actually happening ... i'm not even sure they're friends ...

she doesn't have a boyfriend .. she sat far away from FH and I when we went to the office dinner .. when i ask FH he said they don't usually talk ... but they DO talk ...

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its normal. Yes we all can tell you how to react but its hard to not feel like this at times and also hard to control. Ive done it many times, i just hope you learn from my mistakes because it will all turn on you. If you truly in your heart believe something is just not right then keep your eyes and ears open. But think about whether you're just feeling jealous or if its a real feeling in your gut that something is wrong. If you have that feeling in your gut then dont ignore it but also dont blow up over little things bc like i said it wont matter if nothing real has been found out you'll look like the wrong one.

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Posted by lilangel369

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by lilangel369

he showed it to me as an 'oh by the way.. this is what i was looking at before..' kinda thing ...

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IF HE SHOWED it to you, did you do it right then and there or went to it later. He is probably just bothered that you were under his name, went through it and even emailed someone from his name. Guys well people in general don't like that bc of their privacy...Just talk to him about how you feel, because otherwise by going on his name it will just upset him and then when you try to explain they'll be too mad to care.

Sorry you're feeling like this

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Nope I did it under my name .. I just memorized the email address.

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honestly, the memorization off a joke fwd email is a little nuts, but you said it first!~

i just read through this entire thread and first of all, denise sounds like a really good invesigator and i have used some of her methods. lol...but to be honest, i didn't find anything bad and i ended up telling FH i had snooped and apologizing, assuring him i would never do that again. b/c after i snooped it only reinforced my trust in him and i felt terrible. i don't think i'll be snooping again.

but in your situation, i think you might have a problem if you don't do something to try and clear this up. do you want the girls in FH's office talking about what a 'psycho fiance' he has? i don't think you're crazy at all, i've snooped myself...but i think that if she's a normal girl she's probably gonna gossip about it at work and i don't think that's something that you or FH want.

here is what i would do, and i HOPE you will do it. i would email her again and be totally straight up with her. start the email with an apology, and tell her you never do things like that. let her know that you had a moment of insecurity and you feel bad you took it out on her. tell her that your FH doesn't email w any other girls and that you just got a little worried that it meant something else, but let her know you KNOW It doesn't. keep it as short as possible, and just get the point accross that you don't have a problem with her.

there is more than one reason you should do this. not only to make yourself look better to her, FH's other co-workers and FH...BUT...if this girl is one of those girls who would get a kick out of torturing you now that she knows you're suspicious (trust me i've seen it happen) she'll be all over him all the time in hopes that you find out and get upset. she could be the nicest girl ever, i don't know her...but just for the slight chance that she is one of those girls...you want to let her know that you are totally secure in your relationship.

good luck, hope this helps!