Am I wrong here?
Ok this might get long so I apologize in advanced. I'm going to give as much detail so you guys can fully understand it. Please don't quote, I'll be taking this down...
Background:
FH dated a girl for 3 years. She comes from a TERRIBLE background and I feel for her, I really do. No one should go through what she has gone through. ANYWAY, when I FIRST met FH I asked him if he was on good terms with his ex (because I'm actually friendly with mine) and he goes 'If wanting her to get hit by a bus is good terms then sure.' So I knew right then and there it was not the best of breakups. Then all of a sudden after we started dating, she started texting him. She actually told him through AIM that she wanted him back. I actually laughed about it because I knew how he felt. THEN, about a year later, her dad got REALLY sick. She started calling FH when she would be upset and being the nice person that he was, he listened. She didn't really have many people to turn to and he knew the family. I told him 'Just tell me when she contacts you, so I don't feel like a complete putz not knowing.' We told me of ONE time and it was fine. I only got upset when he DIDN'T tell me. Then her dad passed away sadly and FH went to the funeral with his family since again, they knew the family for so many years. She got into a fight with her mom and got kicked out of the house shortly after the father passes. She called FSIL to live on her couch and THANKFULLY FSIL told her that would be too weird. Now, FH and I had an apartment together but we weren't engaged yet. Everyone knew he was saving for the ring and it was going to happen but it didn't yet. A little while after we moved in, FH's phone rang at 1:30AM. It was on my side so I answered the phone. IT WAS HER! The text message said 'Hey, sorry I had to ask you for rent money 2 weeks ago. I understand why you couldn't give it to me but I just had to ask.' I look at him like I'm about to FLIP on him. Now I understand that her dad died (this is all within a year and a half), she has a bad relationship with her mom, and all that jazz. She had a bf and she does have friends. I got REALLY upset and after a lot of screaming I went to the couch because I just couldn't bare sleeping next to him thinking 'what else has she asked him that he didn't tell me? All I did was ask him to tell me when she called him.'
Ok, now for the present:
On Sunday we were all swimming in FH's pool and his mom mentions how FH's ex is a real party girl. I asked how she knew that and she mentioned she's friends with her on FB. REALLY?!?!?! THEN I found out FSIL, also my MOH, is friends with her on FB. AND FMIL talks to her on FB! So I thought about it for a couple of days and then asked FH why they insisted on being friends with his ex. He said 'they feel sorry for her.' I told him 'But they don't think about my feelings or how it would make me feel? I'm family! And this is why I roll my eyes when I'm told I'm part of the family! NO family member would stay friends with another persons family member especially if they aren't friendly with them anymore (I should mention that after that text message FH called his ex and told her that he couldn't talk to her anymore and it was serious with me and we were going to get married and he doesn't feel comfortable with it anymore since she crossed that line). He didn't get the big deal on why I cared about FB but I told him 'I'm just uncomfortable with it.' For me, FH shouldn't have to fully understand it, he should just say 'ok np I'll talk to them.' Well he didn't and we got into a HUGE fight over it. We finally got passed it but since I'm close with FSIL I asked her myself. 'If your mom and Franky were friends with your ex on FB would it bother you?' She said 'yes, why are they?' I told her 'no, I was just wondering if I was over reacting because it upsets me that you and your mom are still friends with Lianne.' We got INTO it! She kept telling me I was over reacting and it's completely different because FH and his ex didn't have a bad break up (I was under the impression that they did and I know they did). I'm SO hurt and upset by this. I'm going to be his FH's family all weekend and I don't know how I'm going to be able to look at all of them. It just doesn't seem right to me. I know that if my sisters came to me and told me they were upset with something I would fix it, I wouldn't just blow it off.
So my question is am I wrong or is FSIL and FMIL?
Background:
FH dated a girl for 3 years. She comes from a TERRIBLE background and I feel for her, I really do. No one should go through what she has gone through. ANYWAY, when I FIRST met FH I asked him if he was on good terms with his ex (because I'm actually friendly with mine) and he goes 'If wanting her to get hit by a bus is good terms then sure.' So I knew right then and there it was not the best of breakups. Then all of a sudden after we started dating, she started texting him. She actually told him through AIM that she wanted him back. I actually laughed about it because I knew how he felt. THEN, about a year later, her dad got REALLY sick. She started calling FH when she would be upset and being the nice person that he was, he listened. She didn't really have many people to turn to and he knew the family. I told him 'Just tell me when she contacts you, so I don't feel like a complete putz not knowing.' We told me of ONE time and it was fine. I only got upset when he DIDN'T tell me. Then her dad passed away sadly and FH went to the funeral with his family since again, they knew the family for so many years. She got into a fight with her mom and got kicked out of the house shortly after the father passes. She called FSIL to live on her couch and THANKFULLY FSIL told her that would be too weird. Now, FH and I had an apartment together but we weren't engaged yet. Everyone knew he was saving for the ring and it was going to happen but it didn't yet. A little while after we moved in, FH's phone rang at 1:30AM. It was on my side so I answered the phone. IT WAS HER! The text message said 'Hey, sorry I had to ask you for rent money 2 weeks ago. I understand why you couldn't give it to me but I just had to ask.' I look at him like I'm about to FLIP on him. Now I understand that her dad died (this is all within a year and a half), she has a bad relationship with her mom, and all that jazz. She had a bf and she does have friends. I got REALLY upset and after a lot of screaming I went to the couch because I just couldn't bare sleeping next to him thinking 'what else has she asked him that he didn't tell me? All I did was ask him to tell me when she called him.'
Ok, now for the present:
On Sunday we were all swimming in FH's pool and his mom mentions how FH's ex is a real party girl. I asked how she knew that and she mentioned she's friends with her on FB. REALLY?!?!?! THEN I found out FSIL, also my MOH, is friends with her on FB. AND FMIL talks to her on FB! So I thought about it for a couple of days and then asked FH why they insisted on being friends with his ex. He said 'they feel sorry for her.' I told him 'But they don't think about my feelings or how it would make me feel? I'm family! And this is why I roll my eyes when I'm told I'm part of the family! NO family member would stay friends with another persons family member especially if they aren't friendly with them anymore (I should mention that after that text message FH called his ex and told her that he couldn't talk to her anymore and it was serious with me and we were going to get married and he doesn't feel comfortable with it anymore since she crossed that line). He didn't get the big deal on why I cared about FB but I told him 'I'm just uncomfortable with it.' For me, FH shouldn't have to fully understand it, he should just say 'ok np I'll talk to them.' Well he didn't and we got into a HUGE fight over it. We finally got passed it but since I'm close with FSIL I asked her myself. 'If your mom and Franky were friends with your ex on FB would it bother you?' She said 'yes, why are they?' I told her 'no, I was just wondering if I was over reacting because it upsets me that you and your mom are still friends with Lianne.' We got INTO it! She kept telling me I was over reacting and it's completely different because FH and his ex didn't have a bad break up (I was under the impression that they did and I know they did). I'm SO hurt and upset by this. I'm going to be his FH's family all weekend and I don't know how I'm going to be able to look at all of them. It just doesn't seem right to me. I know that if my sisters came to me and told me they were upset with something I would fix it, I wouldn't just blow it off.
So my question is am I wrong or is FSIL and FMIL?
