Am i wrong to feel this way?

My wedding is in less than 2 months... and im super excited.
until ...........

i found out FH brother wants to propose to his GF within the next month

i know i probably sound really stupid but for some reason its TOTALLY bothering me.... i mean he cant wait 54 more days? and do it AFTER my wedding...

His sister is coming June 10th next month... and he wants to have a big family bbq, etc so the families meet first, and than another one when he proposes... etc etc...

im really close to FH's brother.... he's been with this girl less than a year ... but anyways thats not my problem...im just so sad about the timing he thinking of doing it...

all the spotlight and attention will be taken off OF ME...i feel , yeah that may sound bratty but ive spent 2 years planning and trying to make everything perfect...only so everyone can be busy with the NEXT new daughter in law .... and busy congratulating them etc....

and to top it all off.... when Adam [my FH] told FMIL he wanted to get married she was no where near excited... and now that FBIL wants to propose to a girl shes NEVER even met ...she just seems so thrilled, thats all she ever tells her friends...but in the meantime she barely wants to acknowledge that her other son is getting married too..? i feel BITTER... and UPSET..


theres nothing i can do... i just dont wana feel this way



EDIT:
FBIL thinks its a perfect time because family from all over Cali, Chicago, Europe, is coming down just for OUR wedding, and he thinks they can meet his GF too and he can do the proposal since all the relatives are in town..... in his mind hes right, but im so bothered!
and FH doesnt care! he's like so what..

and now i dont feel like mentioning anything because i will look immature/jealous


its SO upsetting... like what else can possibly happen? ???

As soon as FH i got engaged, 2 weeks later FSIL announced she was pregnant... than she became the Focus...shes the oldest in the family.. and everyone was busy with her baby shower.. etc etc... and we didnt even HAVE an engagement party because towards the end she wasnt feeling well... and if FMIL wouldnt make it cuz she wanted to be her daughters side what was the point.. argh
i dont want to be bitter forever...

honestly, i would be perturbed too. Would FH be willing to say something? Like, 'dude its awesome that you're getting engaged, but can you do me a really big favor and wait 2 months...' etc.

My sister is thinking of getting engaged too - My Dad told her to wait until after my wedding or I'd get all Bridezilla on her. She wants to get married labor day weekend 09.

You have every right to feel how you feel .. and we all want people to give us our personal time to shine .. but do they .. NO

nope FH is not bothered , doesnt seem to phase him ONE teensy BIT...infact he like never even talks about it...

Neither one of us has met her,

I will be bothered too... and I agree with other brides that maybe your FH should say something (nicely though).

Similar situation happened 2 year ago with my future family.. FH cousin is getting married and FH sister announced to everyone that she is having a baby... and since its her first most of relatives attention went to her....If my FSIL pull some crap like that on my wedding day, I will kick her and her whole family's a$$.

Kidding about kicking someone a$$ but really maybe your FH can convince him to propose after the wedding.

I agree, it would be nice if he understood and if he'd just stick it out a little while longer and wait till your wedding is over to propose to her.. it stinks but, I guess you just have to realize, it's his decision, and if he doesn't want to wait, there's not much you can do about it
Either way, on your wedding day, the spotlight will be on you!!! It will be your day to shine and nobody can take that away from you

You have every right to feel the way that you do. Your wedding is a special day for you and FH...and to know that there has been sooo much time and thought put into it for it to be perfect-that thought that something will take away from that day is going to upset you.

Try not to worry about it too much-no matter what YOU ARE THE BRIDE!!!! And nothing will really take away from that

I understand why you are mad.

but think about the good side, you are getting married and the atttention will be on you again!
Don't let other people bother you and enjoy the rest of your wedding planning. Dont' let them ruin your mood!

and here is a hug from me:

You mentioned that you and FBIL are close, is there a way that you could talk to him? Maybe try to explain it to him that you and FMIL are bonding and since she found out about him she's distant, so on and so on..... and see how receptive he is. GL

believe me i can relate! my sister's having her son' s christening a 7 days before my wedding and my good friend's getting married 20 days after me.

Try not to worry about it too much-no matter what YOU ARE THE BRIDE!!!! And nothing will really take away from that

This is my first post although I have been a 'lurker' for quite some time. I have found a great deal of useful information.

I felt a need to respond to your post. I must respectfully disagree with the posters saying that you have a right to be upset or mad. While it is your day and your wedding, I don't understand why someone else's engagement or pregnancy has anything to do with it...I'm sure that your FSIL did not plan to upstage your engagement with a pregnancy. That is wonderful news and you should be happy for her, plain and simple.

As for your FBIL, again, I am sure they are not trying to take anything away from you. Once a man decides that he wants to get married and if he has the ring, I'm sure it is VERY difficult to wait to propose, I know my FI couldn't. I'm sure he is excited and in love and wants to do it when all the family is together, there is nothing wrong with that.

Try and focus on the positive, there seems to be a lot of reasons for everyone to be happy, so smile and realize that on your wedding day, it will be all about you and your FI and no one else. You are marrying the man you love and that is all that should matter. Please do not be bitter, it is no way to start off your new life together.

I can see how this would be difficult.

On top of it it sounds like he is using your wedding and all of the family coming in for it as an opportune moment for HIM.

Im sorry, but remember this will take NOTHIING away from your special day!!!! Its life...that these things are happening- proposals, weddings, babies. You cant really expect someone else not to propose bc youre getting married. I know its frustrating and I totally feel what youre saying, but remember, it doesnt lessen the joy of what you and fh are doing with your lives!!!!!!

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Posted by hdplaza

This is my first post although I have been a 'lurker' for quite some time. I have found a great deal of useful information.

I felt a need to respond to your post. I must respectfully disagree with the posters saying that you have a right to be upset or mad. While it is your day and your wedding, I don't understand why someone else's engagement or pregnancy has anything to do with it...I'm sure that your FSIL did not plan to upstage your engagement with a pregnancy. That is wonderful news and you should be happy for her, plain and simple.

As for your FBIL, again, I am sure they are not trying to take anything away from you. Once a man decides that he wants to get married and if he has the ring, I'm sure it is VERY difficult to wait to propose, I know my FI couldn't. I'm sure he is excited and in love and wants to do it when all the family is together, there is nothing wrong with that.

Try and focus on the positive, there seems to be a lot of reasons for everyone to be happy, so smile and realize that on your wedding day, it will be all about you and your FI and no one else. You are marrying the man you love and that is all that should matter. Please do not be bitter, it is no way to start off your new life together.

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some very good points here

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Posted by hdplaza

This is my first post although I have been a 'lurker' for quite some time. I have found a great deal of useful information.

I felt a need to respond to your post. I must respectfully disagree with the posters saying that you have a right to be upset or mad. While it is your day and your wedding, I don't understand why someone else's engagement or pregnancy has anything to do with it...I'm sure that your FSIL did not plan to upstage your engagement with a pregnancy. That is wonderful news and you should be happy for her, plain and simple.

As for your FBIL, again, I am sure they are not trying to take anything away from you. Once a man decides that he wants to get married and if he has the ring, I'm sure it is VERY difficult to wait to propose, I know my FI couldn't. I'm sure he is excited and in love and wants to do it when all the family is together, there is nothing wrong with that.

Try and focus on the positive, there seems to be a lot of reasons for everyone to be happy, so smile and realize that on your wedding day, it will be all about you and your FI and no one else. You are marrying the man you love and that is all that should matter. Please do not be bitter, it is no way to start off your new life together.

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I couldn't have said it better myself

Thanks ladies.

Again, I have been lurking for a while and I find that most everyone on here is very helpful and sweet...I have seen some really snarky behavior on other boards and have always been apprehensive about posting.

I only want to point out to OP that the most important part of a wedding is the beginning of a marriage, a lifetime together and really all else is secondary.

I can understand that you are upset. And nobody can tell you that your FEELINGS are wrong.

I will promise you something though... no matter who gets engaged, has a baby, runs away - WHATEVER... the focus will be on you. It will be YOUR day. Even if your FBIL gives his gf the hope diamond - nothing will steal the spotilight from you. You know why? Becuase you will be GLOWING with happiness from marrying the love of your life. Nobody will have that glow except for you.

You can't change his plans - and honestly - if you ask him to hold off then people WILL hear about it and some will interpret it as you being a bridezilla. So I would grin and bear it - and remember - it will be all about you anyway when that day comes!

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Posted by hdplaza

This is my first post although I have been a 'lurker' for quite some time. I have found a great deal of useful information.

I felt a need to respond to your post. I must respectfully disagree with the posters saying that you have a right to be upset or mad. While it is your day and your wedding, I don't understand why someone else's engagement or pregnancy has anything to do with it...I'm sure that your FSIL did not plan to upstage your engagement with a pregnancy. That is wonderful news and you should be happy for her, plain and simple.

As for your FBIL, again, I am sure they are not trying to take anything away from you. Once a man decides that he wants to get married and if he has the ring, I'm sure it is VERY difficult to wait to propose, I know my FI couldn't. I'm sure he is excited and in love and wants to do it when all the family is together, there is nothing wrong with that.

Try and focus on the positive, there seems to be a lot of reasons for everyone to be happy, so smile and realize that on your wedding day, it will be all about you and your FI and no one else. You are marrying the man you love and that is all that should matter. Please do not be bitter, it is no way to start off your new life together.

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Thank you for saying exactly what I was thinking in such a positive way. I am sure I would have sounded like a huge biitch had I tried to explain this point of view.

Just stop it. Yes, it is immature and jealous of you to want the next 54 days to be focused on JUST you and you FH. Your day will be GLORIOUS and MAGICAL and JUST ABOUT the TWO OF YOU. You seem to be looking for something you are just not going to get.

Don't take everyone's non-excitement so personally. It has nothing to do with you. You should , IMO, spend the next few weeks focusing on yourself and your soon to be husband. Finish up your planning and make your wedding the best day ever. You are wasting time worrying about what other people think and feel about you. You have NO CONTROL over that so there is no reason to waste time and energy on it. Focus on what you do have control over.

I am sorry that you feel pushed aside. That is hard to deal with. You have every right to feel whatever you do, don't misunderstand me. However, there is a time and a place for everything. Displaying any kind of jealousy over your FBIL future engagement or your FSIL pregnancy will only result in making you look bad.

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Posted by hdplaza

This is my first post although I have been a 'lurker' for quite some time. I have found a great deal of useful information.

I felt a need to respond to your post. I must respectfully disagree with the posters saying that you have a right to be upset or mad. While it is your day and your wedding, I don't understand why someone else's engagement or pregnancy has anything to do with it...I'm sure that your FSIL did not plan to upstage your engagement with a pregnancy. That is wonderful news and you should be happy for her, plain and simple.

As for your FBIL, again, I am sure they are not trying to take anything away from you. Once a man decides that he wants to get married and if he has the ring, I'm sure it is VERY difficult to wait to propose, I know my FI couldn't. I'm sure he is excited and in love and wants to do it when all the family is together, there is nothing wrong with that.

Try and focus on the positive, there seems to be a lot of reasons for everyone to be happy, so smile and realize that on your wedding day, it will be all about you and your FI and no one else. You are marrying the man you love and that is all that should matter. Please do not be bitter, it is no way to start off your new life together.

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I have to agree. You can't expect someone to put their life on hold until you get married. Don't let it get to you.