Am I Wrong? *WITH UPDATE*

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Posted by WeezyGirl2354

I read it through and not to sound harsh, but I'm going w/ FH on this one and here is why: If I had the chance to take the HM you are, I would but we don't have that kind of $$ or time. It's a 20 city cruise you said correct? Is one day w/ his family going to ruin your whole HM, I would say no.

i get it - its YOUR HM, a time for you and your DH to spend together but if its important to him don't you think you should meet him in the middle too? You are getting 19 other cities just the 2 of you.

If I had the chance to go to Italy and meet all my relatives who I have never even seen or spoken to in my life I would expect my DH to be all about it. Yes, your DH has spoken to them but like you said, when will you have another vaca to do such a thing?

Maybe invite them to do the excursion w/ you in Palermo and kill 2 birds w/ 1 stone.

I think the bigger issue is FH opening his mouth to his family before talking to you first about this - that I agree with you 100%. No decisions should be made about your HM w/ out you being involved.

That's just my 2cents.

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Posted by Moonmist09

thanks! people have their opinions and telling me to meet them for a full day is not ok because strangers on a ship that we will be having dinner with, we will have more of a relationship with than his relatives who have literally slapped him in the face before and have ignored him when he has been to visit before. Whate veryone fails to realize is that the last time Fh went to visit about 20 years ago to italy. There is only one family that lives there, although now, their children have obviously grown and have homes of their own. This family completely shunned Fh and his family while they were there. They were not visited or invited or even spoken to. Over the years there was a falling out and some effort was made on his parents part to reconcile with them. obviously the relationship has never been 100% repaired. What I don't understand is that knowing all of this, his parents would even suggest we go visit someone who shunned you 20+ years ago and really don't give a crap about you now.
So no, i'm sorry, i don't deen this as a bonding experience, i don't think it will earn me any brownie points with anyone because these people really don't care about Fh or his family or they would have made more of an effort over the years ad well and again, they are virtual strangers to FH.
In an attept to compromise, i again mentioned today about having them come to us after our excursion for a cup of coffee and conversation for about an hour or so until the boat needs to set sail. Ironically enough, his mother spoke with a relative over there today and she mentioned that we would be in their town and if they would like to see us (but why she would even mention this if we had not given her permission to do so to begin with and potentially engage us in something we have not yet deicede is beyond my comprehension right now) and the relative alrady started hemming and hawing about how its a weekday and it will be late and they work and all this bs!.
I feel bad for saying this but I TOLD YOU SO!!!!! you mean nothing to FH! you obviously don't care enough about him because how easy would it have been to say from now oh yeah, we'll try to work something out! GOOD! i am so glad this happened! it will now show people (FH family) to not put their foots in their mouths and say we will do something without asking us! i feel kinda bad for FH but not really because this is a rude eye opener. i wasn't trying to be mean, but i'm telling you, you are little more than a stranger to them, they don't care when you will be here b/c you don't matter enough to them.

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Posted by Moonmist09

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Posted by cc2011

Antonella, you are NOT WRONG at all!!!! This is the EXACT reason I refuse to go to Italy on my honeymoon. A honeymoon is not meant to spend with your family...it's YOU and FH only!!!

It's one thing if you guys were just vacationing in Italy...fine....but NOT on your honeymoon. I'm very passionate about this because FH brought it up last year and I blantantly stated...HELL NO! You won't have any privacy whatsoever! It's not fair to you at all!
Do you think that he feels forced to go to visit because his relatives know he's going to Italy for his honeymoon? When my sister went to Italy w/ her friends all she told relatives was that she was going to be in town for one or two days and then went off to do her own thing as she originally had planned with her friends.

Is FH open to the idea of visiting his relatives in Italy the following year maybe instead of using your HM?

Let me tell you...I COMPLETELY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! Just because you don't want to visit his relatives on your honeymoon does NOT mean you are not family-oriented!!!

I can't even begin to tell you some of the b.s. I've had to nip in the bud already regarding some things!!!!

I'm here if you need to talk...

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