Just wanted to add... If that were our HM we wouldnt be stopping to see anyone LoL.. I want to enjoy EVERY minute of it!
ITA ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Moonmist09
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Re: Am I Wrong?
mybabylovesmoi
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I don't think either of you are wrong, you just want different things and both wants are completely valid
I think the major source of annoyance in this situation is you feel ganged up on by FH and his family and you don't feel like it's YOUR decision.
First off, I think FH needs to tell his family the next time they put their two cents in that 'we are working on it, thanks.' He needs to make it clear that it IS your honeymoon and any decision you make as a couple is yours alone and suggestions aren't welcome!!
Then FH and only you need to talk things through calmly. Make it clear how you feel but maybe you can fit a little of both. One meal or something with the family. Maybe they can meet you guys so you don't waste hours traveling. I just think it is just one day and you can win so many points with FH and his family. That is just my opinion.
Most of FH's family is in Portugal and we couldn't go the last two summers because we were saving for a house then the wedding. One member passed away in the mean time and FH was really upset when he found out. He doesn't keep in touch either and he only hears about them through FIL's but it still made him sad, you know? I felt really bad about it and I even suggested that we honeymoon in Europe and spend some time with his family (I would also not be able to understand anything!!!). FH declined but it did mean a lot to him...
VCanizalez
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by Moonmist09
Posted by VCanizalez
He has absolutely NO RELATIONSHIP with this people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He talks to them Every NOW and THEN! He doesnt talk to them on a REGULAR BASIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my point exactly! would you go visit people you barely know? or would you at least enjoy the sights and new places to see with your new wife? unreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is why I am on ur side.... If this were his parents/brother/sister, i would be on his side... BUT THEY ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He shoudl be enjoyin with U ONLY... Definiton of Honeymoon
HONEYMOON: A trip taken by a newly married couple
IT Doesnt say a trip by newlyweds & family.
Richiesgirl
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Re: Am I Wrong?
I read it all too. I do not think you are wrong on your definition on a honeymoon. HOWEVER, if you are traveling all the way to Europe..and you are there for so many days. Is it really a big deal to go see his family to tour with them for a couple of days? IMO I wouldn't be mad at all. I would want to meet his family. I hope it works out for you
FutureMrsPanuch
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Re: Am I Wrong?
I totally agree with you and you are DEFINATLY NOT Wrong!!!! FH and i were going to go to Italy for our Honeymoon, but based on the fact that he has family there and we would be 'required' to visit them due to the fact that we would have shelter and food, we decided NOT to go for our honeymoon.
Your honeymoon is just that YOUR HONEYMOON, you shouldnt have to stop and visit family. This is about you and your FH! You must ENJOY your time together. FH must understand this...
ItalianBella1122
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I'm sorry chica! Please know that you are not the one thinking crazy here!
You get to go on your honeymoon ONCE. With technology today, you could always sykpe with them or something...Especially if FH isn't close to them....give me a break!
Also you KNOW how Italians are! lol Family on the honeymoon is just a BAD IDEA lol
ImgonnabeMrsC
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oh boy, I'm sorry this is an issue, but I totally agree with you. The HM is a time for just you and your husband to relax and enjoy being newlyweds!! I hope you can convince FH that its not just a vacation, but its a special time for the two of you. Tell him you can alawys set a trip to visit them later on or skype with them while your at your hotel lol. Hope it all works out!! KEep us posted!
Moonmist09
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by cc2011
Antonella, you are NOT WRONG at all!!!! This is the EXACT reason I refuse to go to Italy on my honeymoon. A honeymoon is not meant to spend with your family...it's YOU and FH only!!!
It's one thing if you guys were just vacationing in Italy...fine....but NOT on your honeymoon. I'm very passionate about this because FH brought it up last year and I blantantly stated...HELL NO! You won't have any privacy whatsoever! It's not fair to you at all! Do you think that he feels forced to go to visit because his relatives know he's going to Italy for his honeymoon? When my sister went to Italy w/ her friends all she told relatives was that she was going to be in town for one or two days and then went off to do her own thing as she originally had planned with her friends.
Is FH open to the idea of visiting his relatives in Italy the following year maybe instead of using your HM?
Let me tell you...I COMPLETELY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!! Just because you don't want to visit his relatives on your honeymoon does NOT mean you are not family-oriented!!!
I can't even begin to tell you some of the b.s. I've had to nip in the bud already regarding some things!!!!
I'm here if you need to talk...
Moonmist09
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Posted by ItalianBella1122
I'm sorry chica! Please know that you are not the one thinking crazy here!
You get to go on your honeymoon ONCE. With technology today, you could always sykpe with them or something...Especially if FH isn't close to them....give me a break!
Also you KNOW how Italians are! lol Family on the honeymoon is just a BAD IDEA lol
Moonmist09
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Posted by Reinhart2be
I'm going with FH on this one. You have an amazing opportunity to spend time with his family in their native village. This is probably a once in a lifetime thing. Imagine showing your children video/photos of Aunt Blah Blah's in Italy.
FH might never get to see these people again. It is 7 hours out of a 20 day honeymoon. Give in.
jenhef
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Re: Am I Wrong?
I totally agree with your FH.. dont think him wanting to see some family for one day is going to ruin your whole trip.. and not for nothing but you should want to meet your new family as well... its a great opportunity.. he should have discussed it with you before committing to them but overall.. i really dont think its a big deal.. you will have plenty of alone/baby making time in the other cities..
plus.. i know someone who went to visit some family in italy while they were on their honeymoon and everyone gave them wedding presents... so it was a double bonus!
WeezyGirl2354
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by Moonmist09
Posted by VCanizalez
He has absolutely NO RELATIONSHIP with this people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He talks to them Every NOW and THEN! He doesnt talk to them on a REGULAR BASIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my point exactly! would you go visit people you barely know? or would you at least enjoy the sights and new places to see with your new wife? unreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Knowing them now or not - they are family, so I don't really think that is a relevant arguement (IMHO) and that might be the way your FH sees it.
I really love the idea of them meeting you at the ship for coffee or something, that sounds totally ideal. How come FH won't jump on that idea? I think thats the best of both worlds and everyone is happy.
MrsTarricone2B
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OK I read the whole thing and I see both of your sides. I can understand your FH wanting to take this opportunity to see his family since it will probably be a long time (if ever) until the next time he is in Italy. However, this is your HONEYMOON and it should be a time for the 2 of you to be together enjoying wedded bliss. I totally understand why you're upset.
If it were me I think I would tell FH that we will visit his family one day so he has to pick whether he wants to see his cousin or other family, not both. I would also tell him to make plans to go somewhere with them that do so that you aren't just sitting in their house, ya know?
I hope it all works out hun!!
michellelovesjohn
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tough situation...my entire family is from palermo...we know them well, as i visit often...but i purposely chose an itinerary that did not include palermo...because i knew i would have to drag fh to my family's house...lol
HOWEVER...just so you know, IMO there is not much to see in Palermo...its a city, its like a small version of Manhattan and if you were forced to visit family, you wouldn't be missing much...
Side note: FH's family is from athens, which is one the stops on our 10 night HM cruise...but he doesnt know them as well...and we made it clear that there was know way that we would have time to see everybody in one day and because it is our HM, we prefer to do our own thing and if they want to meet us at the ship for a few minutes before we sail thats fine.
VCanizalez
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by WeezyGirl2354
Posted by Moonmist09
Posted by VCanizalez
He has absolutely NO RELATIONSHIP with this people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He talks to them Every NOW and THEN! He doesnt talk to them on a REGULAR BASIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my point exactly! would you go visit people you barely know? or would you at least enjoy the sights and new places to see with your ne w wife? unreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Knowing them now or not - they are family, so I don't really think that is a relevant arguement (IMHO) and that might be the way your FH sees it.
I really love the idea of them meeting you at the ship for coffee or something, that sounds totally ideal. How come FH won't jump on that idea? I think thats the best of both worlds and everyone is happy.
Sorry Weezy. I disagree with U... This is relevant to the this... We are talking about ppl they dont even talk on a reg basis... Plus, They may be family by blood but if they were NEVER there for u, Only for Every now and then,.... why would u want to see them on ur HM?! This si the time to spend with UR WIFE... not Ur Wife and Ur relatives u only talk to 2x a year.
Moonmist09
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by jenhef
I totally agree with your FH.. dont think him wanting to see some family for one day is going to ruin your whole trip.. and not for nothing but you should want to meet your new family as well... its a great opportunity.. he should have discussed it with you before committing to them but overall.. i really dont think its a big deal.. you will have plenty of alone/baby making time in the other cities..
plus.. i know someone who went to visit some family in italy while they were on their honeymoon and everyone gave them wedding presents... so it was a double bonus!
merbride
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by WeezyGirl2354
I read it through and not to sound harsh, but I'm going w/ FH on this one and here is why: If I had the chance to take the HM you are, I would but we don't have that kind of $$ or time. It's a 20 city cruise you said correct? Is one day w/ his family going to ruin your whole HM, I would say no.
i get it - its YOUR HM, a time for you and your DH to spend together but if its important to him don't you think you should meet him in the middle too? You are getting 19 other cities just the 2 of you.
If I had the chance to go to Italy and meet all my relatives who I have never even seen or spoken to in my life I would expect my DH to be all about it. Yes, your DH has spoken to them but like you said, when will you have another vaca to do such a thing?
Maybe invite them to do the excursion w/ you in Palermo and kill 2 birds w/ 1 stone.
I think the bigger issue is FH opening his mouth to his family before talking to you first about this - that I agree with you 100%. No decisions should be made about your HM w/ out you being involved.
That's just my 2cents.
I agree with this... maybe his family can go on that excursion with you that day
Moonmist09
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by VCanizalez
Posted by WeezyGirl2354
Posted by Moonmist09
Posted by VCanizalez
He has absolutely NO RELATIONSHIP with this people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He talks to them Every NOW and THEN! He doesnt talk to them on a REGULAR BASIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is my point exactly! would you go visit people you barely know? or would you at least enjoy the sights and new places to see with your ne w wife? unreal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Knowing them now or not - they are family, so I don't really think that is a relevant arguement (IMHO) and that might be the way your FH sees it.
I really love the idea of them meeting you at the ship for coffee or something, that sounds totally ideal. How come FH won't jump on that idea? I think thats the best of both worlds and everyone is happy.
Sorry Weezy. I disagree with U... This is relevant to the this... We are talking about ppl they dont even talk on a reg basis... Plus, They may be family by blood but if they were NEVER there for u, Only for Every now and then,.... why would u want to see them on ur HM?! This si the time to spend with UR WIFE... not Ur Wife and Ur relatives u only talk to 2x a year.
leesah85
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Re: Am I Wrong?
Posted by WeezyGirl2354
I read it through and not to sound harsh, but I'm going w/ FH on this one and here is why: If I had the chance to take the HM you are, I would but we don't have that kind of $$ or time. It's a 20 city cruise you said correct? Is one day w/ his family going to ruin your whole HM, I would say no.
i get it - its YOUR HM, a time for you and your DH to spend together but if its important to him don't you think you should meet him in the middle too? You are getting 19 other cities just the 2 of you.
If I had the chance to go to Italy and meet all my relatives who I have never even seen or spoken to in my life I would expect my DH to be all about it. Yes, your DH has spoken to them but like you said, when will you have another vaca to do such a thing?
Maybe invite them to do the excursion w/ you in Palermo and kill 2 birds w/ 1 stone.
I think the bigger issue is FH opening his mouth to his family before talking to you first about this - that I agree with you 100%. No decisions should be made about your HM w/ out you being involved.
That's just my 2cents.
ITA with Eloise on this one.
You don't have to spend time with them the whole day - why don't you meet them for lunch or dinner? and find an excursion you and FH can do alone and just kill a couple of hours with them before your ship leaves?
ITA with you Antonella because I would probably have the same initial reaction, but I think that's what marriages are all about - a lot of give and take. No one's saying you have to go to their house and sit on their couch and eat pasta. Tell them what you're doing while you're there, and if they want to join you, they're more than welcome to. You should dictate what goes on, not them.
