An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Original post by bethsiar

May 13, 2004 10:19 AM

I emailed my friend whose coming from Mass. the menu so she would know what was going on, etc.

Here is what she wrote back, LOL.

Bethy,

How many people are going to the wedding? How many did you invite? I was showing my friend the menu and she couldn't believe it. She just showed a woman she's working with, who's planning a wedding for her daughter, and the woman was shocked. Are those choices, or are you having everything there?
Are they serving everything on that list? We are all confused.

Tari

I explained to her what a dessert cafe is and the cocktail stations, plus the passed ones... so cute and funny at the same time

FrescaBride Posted: May 13, 2004 05:11 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by maiahsdad

the reason that ny york weddings are like that is because , well we dont have a problem paying for the wedding for the next 10 years, and in some cases it will pe paid for after the marrage lasts

jonn

p.s. i think it is so ridiculous to spend 40,00 for a wedding, use the money for something that is needed not a party for friends....

My FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and will not owe any money afterwards. And I'm not partying my friends, I'm celebrating the start of our new loving life together with the company of my friends and loved ones.

kel2004 Posted: May 13, 2004 05:14 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by Rainmama

I don't think it's tacky to not provide alcoholic drinks. Soda, juices...yes, it would be outrageous to have guests pay. But I know what it's like to not have a ton of money for a wedding and I'm sure the heck not going to pay for great-uncle Stevie's 6 rum and cokes. (no, I don't really have an uncle Stevie )

I was just saying my opinion. I don't think guests should have to pay for anything. I would cut out other things so that I didn't have to have a cash bar. JMO...

belle31125 Posted: May 13, 2004 05:22 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

I am going to a wedding in Rochester in June for one of my college friends and hers wont be as elaborate as the LI ones.. in college, one of my roommates(who is from LI) was talking about her sisters CH at her reception and my friends from Rochester really had no clue about the CH.. very different!

MrHostility Posted: May 13, 2004 05:27 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

The difference goes much further than weddings. It's Long Island in general.

belle22274 Posted: May 13, 2004 05:30 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

hbradio - where in Rochester are your friends from? My FH is from Pittsford, and we met in Naples...

FH entire family is from Rochester and they cannot get over what we're having here. They think we're being a bit lavish (although by LI standards we're not). His mom still cannot grasp the open bar... she keeps saying 'You mean everyone can have whatever they want?? And as much as they want??? What is someone drinks a whole bottle of wine? They can DO that???' She nearly flipped when I mentioned we were having an after party. Our wedding is going to be a shock to FH's entire guest list!!!

Rainmama Posted: May 13, 2004 05:33 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by MrHostility

The difference goes much further than weddings. It's Long Island in general.

Yup! I feel like a pauper whenever I visit.

steph4777 Posted: May 13, 2004 05:55 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by chicagogal

Yeah...I've been trying to prep FH's family. They think we're just loaded. I've been living in chicago for the past 6 years and even the fancy weddings are no where near NY level of excess.
There is no cocktail hour. Dinner is 1 or 2 courses and served all at once in the beginning. Then the dancing starts. Desert is the wedding cake.
My friends were shocked when I showed them the menu and promised that they wouldn't eat for days in advance to prepare. lol!
I've never been to a wedding with cash bar but all of the weddings have had the bar open for only the first hour or so. I've never mentioned the price of dinner to anyone outside of NY eitehr. I remember them talking about someone's wedding where hey spent $25 pp and it was a lot!!

This is so true...I live in Chi also. I went to a wedding here in Nov and I thought it was odd when they closed the bar after the hour of passed pizza bites.

laudipop Posted: May 13, 2004 06:15 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Hmmm...I have to say, every wedding I've ever been to, whether in Florida, D.C., or upstate NY has had a cocktail hour, at least semi-formal dress, good dinner, and open bar.

Am I just weird? I knew NY weddings were more expensive than anywhere else, but I didn't think they were THAT much more lavish.

Maybe it's because all the weddings I go to are for people who are from NY, so they just think it's normal to plan this way?

thiadora Posted: May 13, 2004 06:41 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Yes, weddings are definately different outside of New York. Here are some of my experiences-

Cousin's Wedding in Colorado- My cousin decided to be come a Born Again Christian. The wedding and reception were at the church. My Uncle and the family made the food. I was a serve yourself buffet. There was no alcohol. The only music that was played were Disney love songs. My cousins and I sat around the table waiting to leave. The real party was at the lounge in the hotel with the bride's parents (but w/o the & )- They are now divorced. It only lasted 1-1/2 years

Cousin's wedding in Chicago- They didn't serve as much food as we do. The wedding was at an elegant hotel. It was very nice.

Friend of Family's wedding in Boston- Again this was a very nice wedding. The ceremony was in the Old North Church. The only things that were unusual (to me as NYer)- the bar was open for only a set period of time, after that it was cash. It was a buffet dinner. There wasn't enough seating for everyone. My family ended up standing.- Oh & the bride's mother didn't know us and thought we were crashing The bride knew us and assured her we were not.

College Friend in Louisville, KY- Open bar.

My relatives on my father's side are going to be in when they come to my wedding. (Family on mother's side was already initiated into LI & NY wedding culture at my cousin's wedding.)

nferrandi Posted: May 13, 2004 09:14 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by MrHostility

The difference goes much further than weddings. It's Long Island in general.

That's actually not true. I live in Westchester and things are outrageously overdone here too. I went to about 30 Bar Mitzvahs when I was young and they were as big and formal as weddings are. I was actually surprised that many places we saw on LI were significantly cheaper than halls around here.

molly25 Posted: May 13, 2004 09:14 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

I went ot a wedding about 5 years ago in Viriginia. The cocktail hour was just cheese and crackers and it was a cash bar. When that bride and groom came to my sisters wedding in NYC, they were shocked at the meun, cocktail hour and the open bar thing. There is nothing truly like a NY wedding.

MrHostility Posted: May 13, 2004 09:53 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by nferrandi

Posted by MrHostility

The difference goes much further than weddings. It's Long Island in general.

That's actually not true. I live in Westchester and things are outrageously overdone here too. I went to about 30 Bar Mitzvahs when I was young and they were as big and formal as weddings are. I was actually surprised that many places we saw on LI were significantly cheaper than halls around here.

I should have said the greater NY area, specifically. (ie. not up way upstate.)

dm24angel Posted: May 13, 2004 09:54 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Westchester is not way upstate

nehaliasz Posted: May 13, 2004 10:00 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

i went to a wedding in maryland once...and some of the guests wore jean shorts and hibuscus print button downs...i was appalled.

Same thing with a wedding I went to in Colorado!! I was so shocked! They didn't have a cocktail hour, and drinks were kegged beer in red cups...i'm not joking! My friends are going to be amazed when they come to a NY wedding!! (not that i think we're better than them or anything.... just different.)

hbradio Posted: May 13, 2004 10:01 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by belle31125

I am going to a wedding in Rochester in June for one of my college friends and hers wont be as elaborate as the LI ones.. in college, one of my roommates(who is from LI) was talking about her sisters CH at her reception and my friends from Rochester really had no clue about the CH.. very different!

Where are you going in Rochester if you dont mind me asking? I went to school there and 1/4 of my guests are from there....

MrHostility Posted: May 13, 2004 10:03 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by dm24angel

Westchester is not way upstate

Not what I meant, I figured someone was likely to take this wrong. I meant places way up state are not like LI. Westchester is.

nferrandi Posted: May 13, 2004 10:03 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

My FH went to a wedding in Ft. Lauderdale that was outdoors with picnic tables. He and his friends were shocked. It was a bbq with keg beer!

hbradio Posted: May 13, 2004 10:05 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by belle22274

hbradio - where in Rochester are your friends from? My FH is from Pittsford, and we met in Naples...

FH entire family is from Rochester and they cannot get over what we're having here. They think we're being a bit lavish (although by LI standards we're not). His mom still cannot grasp the open bar... she keeps saying 'You mean everyone can have whatever they want?? And as much as they want??? What is someone drinks a whole bottle of wine? They can DO that???' She nearly flipped when I mentioned we were having an after party. Our wedding is going to be a shock to FH's entire guest list!!!

Oh my GOD I just wrote you before I saw that you wrote me!! I love Rochester!!!!!!!!

I have friends in the city, Brockport, Greece, etc.

Thats crazy that you FH's family thinks LI is lavish - I mean out of all the areas in Rochester, Pittsford is one of the nicest!!! In all seriousness, the comparison is really huge - its crazy!!!

Rainmama Posted: May 13, 2004 10:06 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by nferrandi

My FH went to a wedding in Ft. Lauderdale that was outdoors with picnic tables. He and his friends were shocked. It was a bbq with keg beer!

That's exactly what we're doing. And I'd do this over a fancy wedding any day!

dita531 Posted: May 13, 2004 10:08 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by Rainmama

Yes, I must say NY weddings are quite different than what I'm used to. We live in Maine...it's normal to have a choice of entree on the RSVP. It's normal for people to not get all dressed up. And it's normal to have a cash bar. Heck, we're having our wedding on a lake and having a BBQ and a keg of local beer. I'm making sure no one wears a suit! (unless it's a bathing suit!)

CASH BAR? I think my friends an family would leave. my parents went to a wedding upstate and were shocked that all they served was beer,wine and soda. not even a cash bar. no chicken or fish on the menu either. just beef and pork. weird.... especially since i'm considering sushi on my menu! lol.. i'm definatley a new yorker