An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Original post by bethsiar

May 13, 2004 10:19 AM

I emailed my friend whose coming from Mass. the menu so she would know what was going on, etc.

Here is what she wrote back, LOL.

Bethy,

How many people are going to the wedding? How many did you invite? I was showing my friend the menu and she couldn't believe it. She just showed a woman she's working with, who's planning a wedding for her daughter, and the woman was shocked. Are those choices, or are you having everything there?
Are they serving everything on that list? We are all confused.

Tari

I explained to her what a dessert cafe is and the cocktail stations, plus the passed ones... so cute and funny at the same time

dm24angel Posted: May 13, 2004 10:08 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Personally, if I lived say in a less suburban and more rural area...my DREAM wedding would be at a moutain place with a BBQ and kids and me running barefoot with a beer in my hand...no stress! Tons of fun!! No thoughts about proper this and proper that.....

dm24angel Posted: May 13, 2004 10:10 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by dita531

Posted by Rainmama

Yes, I must say NY weddings are quite different than what I'm used to. We live in Maine...it's normal to have a choice of entree on the RSVP. It's normal for people to not get all dressed up. And it's normal to have a cash bar. Heck, we're having our wedding on a lake and having a BBQ and a keg of local beer. I'm making sure no one wears a suit! (unless it's a bathing suit!)

CASH BAR? I think my friends an family would leave. my parents went to a wedding upstate and were shocked that all they served was beer,wine and soda. not even a cash bar. no chicken or fish on the menu either. just beef and pork. weird.... especially since i'm considering sushi on my menu! lol.. i'm definatley a new yorker

We are brain washed as NEW Yorkers... but I was at a wedding last year at a VFW, only wine and beer and no one thought twice, its perspective really....people feel like they 'deserve' to be treated to a meal with all the trimmings and drinks galore, when maybe thats not what the BRIDE AND GROOM want....lol

Rainmama Posted: May 13, 2004 10:12 PM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by dm24angel

Personally, if I lived say in a less suburban and more rural area...my DREAM wedding would be at a moutain place with a BBQ and kids and me running barefoot with a beer in my hand...no stress! Tons of fun!! No thoughts about proper this and proper that.....

THANK YOU Donna! Glad I'm not the only one! What would be better than being barefoot on a sandy beach in your wedding dress?? Atleast I'll be comfortable and won't give a hoot about my hair being out of place.

I'm so excited I could squeal!

laudipop Posted: May 14, 2004 03:42 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Obviously everyone has different tastes. My FH and I have BBQs all the time. If I had one for my wedding, it just wouldn't feel special to me. I want to do a big fancy thing, a once-in-a-lifetime event, because I think the beginning of our life together is worth making a big deal of!

maiahsdad Posted: May 14, 2004 06:24 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by Rainmama

Posted by ChristineC68

Posted by maiahsdad

the reason that ny york weddings are like that is because , well we dont have a problem paying for the wedding for the next 10 years, and in some cases it will pe paid for after the marrage lasts

jonn

p.s. i think it is so ridiculous to spend 40,00 for a wedding, use the money for something that is needed not a party for friends....

I think this last remark is judgemental. Just because you wouldn't spend the money on a wedding doesn't mean you should make suggestions as to how other people spend their money.

ps....not everyone goes into debt for their wedding.

I don't think he was being judgemental...just speaking from experience. Before he met me, he had a VERY expensive, lavish wedding in CT. You see how long that marriage lasted.

We discuss our priorities all of the time. We have a child now and it would be ridiculous to spend a year's salary on one day. That's why we're keeping it 'simple' and having a laid-back party. Our day will be something that our friends will enjoy and won't have to worry about buying a new outfit.

But to each his or her own. I applaud you girls who save and save to have your dream wedding. I personally wouldn't do it...but I was raised in a different place where we have different priorities. I have FILs from LI and they aren't too keen on our idea for a lakeside BBQ wedding. As my FMIL said 'It's just weird.' None of my family or friends from here think it is weird. It's fairly the norm.

Okay...sorry so long. I was just defending my FH 'cause I love him so!

dm24angel Posted: May 14, 2004 07:17 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

As someone who is having a pretty big wedding, I still like the idea of doing what fits for you and in some cases that a BBQ, some its a huge gala event, doesnt make it 'Weird' for either to be done, in fact, what would be 'weird' would be anyone judging another's wedding.
I still believe it is a mainly NY thing ( or larger metro areas) When I lived in PA, no-one had these $40,000 events...but here it is the norm, so I can see how people who have not lived in areas that are so different can not see that it is not the norm...and personally if I had a wedding with say a cash bar , there would be no-one there that would say anything about it, because I wouldnt invite anyone who was not there strictly to celebrate my happiness and could care less about what appetizers were served....

SandraLynn Posted: May 14, 2004 08:45 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

I have only been to LI weddings, I did go to one in Rhode Island...the place in RI was a bit cheezy, but a great view!!!! The only thing that I remember was the champagne glasses had water in them! I only think it was like that b/c the couple had to pay for the wedding themselves, but c'mon, WATER???

I know we have different weddings, my extended family lives in Chicago and I know my cousin who has been married 2x, she had a church ceramony and then the 'reception' was in the church basement w/ cake and coffee ! Which is fine....but my mom flew from here to there for cake and coffee? I remember my cousin telling me that she had to save $$ for her wedding...ummm? for the cake or the coffee?

Then my brother had his wedding in Chicago (i didn't go)...from what my father told me there was a band and a dj...and HER family made tons of cookies for part of the desserts..I don't remember anything else...

Sadly to say, if I went to a wedding that is not like the ones we throw, I would be bored or wondering 'what the heck'?! Isn't that terrible? I even admit it!!! Also, other states give GIFTS over money....not like here!

dm24angel Posted: May 14, 2004 08:48 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by SandraLynn

....but my mom flew from here to there for cake and coffee?

I would think she had flown there to celebrate the wedding and share in the joy of people she loved....If anyone made a comment about the type of wedding I had like that, I would be severly hurt.

ChristineC68 Posted: May 14, 2004 09:21 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by SandraLynn

Sadly to say, if I went to a wedding that is not like the ones we throw, I would be bored or wondering 'what the heck'?! Isn't that terrible? I even admit it!!! Also, other states give GIFTS over money....not like here!

Yes, I do think that's terrible. Different should not mean bad or boring. Why not try to appreciate how people do things differently?

What is wrong with presents? It's more thoughtful then writing a check.

mattituckprincess Posted: May 14, 2004 09:25 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by hbradio

Posted by belle22274

hbradio - where in Rochester are your friends from? My FH is from Pittsford, and we met in Naples...

FH entire family is from Rochester and they cannot get over what we're having here. They think we're being a bit lavish (although by LI standards we're not). His mom still cannot grasp the open bar... she keeps saying 'You mean everyone can have whatever they want?? And as much as they want??? What is someone drinks a whole bottle of wine? They can DO that???' She nearly flipped when I mentioned we were having an after party. Our wedding is going to be a shock to FH's entire guest list!!!

i love rochester! i went to school at geneseo and then lived up there for a while. we've got the buffalo/rochester crew coming down to our wedding too. i think they are all taking the same jet blue flight!

Oh my GOD I just wrote you before I saw that you wrote me!! I love Rochester!!!!!!!!

I have friends in the city, Brockport, Greece, etc.

Thats crazy that you FH's family thinks LI is lavish - I mean out of all the areas in Rochester, Pittsford is one of the nicest!!! In all seriousness, the comparison is really huge - its crazy!!!

bxgell2 Posted: May 14, 2004 09:44 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

I don't think it's just LI, I think generally it's metropolitan areas... I live in philly and have been to quite a few weddings in this area that probably cost double compared to the weddings I've been on LI... and honestly, when FH and I were deciding between Philly and LI for the reception, we chose LI because the venues in Philadelphia, albeit are absolutely GORGEOUS, are much more expensive as compared to LI...

bxgell2 Posted: May 14, 2004 09:44 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Hey! I just made Board Fanatic!

hbradio Posted: May 14, 2004 09:53 AM

Re: An example of how different and unique New York Weddings are.

Posted by Rainmama

Posted by dm24angel

Personally, if I lived say in a less suburban and more rural area...my DREAM wedding would be at a moutain place with a BBQ and kids and me running barefoot with a beer in my hand...no stress! Tons of fun!! No thoughts about proper this and proper that.....

THANK YOU Donna! Glad I'm not the only one! What would be better than being barefoot on a sandy beach in your wedding dress?? Atleast I'll be comfortable and won't give a hoot about my hair being out of place.

I'm so excited I could squeal!

I completely agree with the both of you - that would be my fantasy wedding as well!!! Who is to say what is the right and wrong way to do things? All that matters is what you and FI want!